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writer, editor & professor. based in new orleans. mississippi forever. managing editor of @themargin_us
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when a vision of love is realized~
13
After 3.5 years—buttressed by 2 historic storms—my time as a resident of New Orleans came to an end last week.Ā 

Moving to New Orleans felt like a move back home, in the sense that it was a move back to the South. But New Orleans never felt quite like home-home. It felt like being at my cousin’s house—where you’re welcome, but you know it’s not your house.

Immediately, I got theĀ  sense that New Orleans had something to teach me, so I stopped talking and started listening. I saw the way that Black New Orleanians communed with their families, honored their elders, and celebrated their ancestors. They seemed to walk with more purpose knowing their ancestors were in the soil beneath their feet. I realized that I wanted to do that too. But that sort of communion does not exist for me there, it only existed in Birmingham.Ā  It felt like the city, in the most loving way possible, was guiding me back home.

When people ask where I’m from, I usually say Mississippi via Birmingham. In New Orleans, they would ask, ā€œwhere are you from-from?ā€ That answer is unambiguous: Birmingham. That’s where I grew up until I was 9, where my extended family is based, where 3 of my 4 grandparents are from, and where I can visit my great-grandparents’ graves.Ā 

So, when it became clear that I needed to take over the care for my mother, there was no confusion about where I would do it. I have community in New Orleans, but I have my cousins in Birmingham. So I bought a house, and in a few weeks I’ll be moving Mama in.Ā 

I never thought the move to New Orleans would be permanent, but I did think it would last longer than it did. I know 3.5 years isn’t a long time, but it felt like it. Maybe because time moves slower in New Orleans thanĀ  in New York. Or because there’s so much culture to observe and absorb. Or because of the friends who felt like family. OrĀ  because my life quite literally changed: I became an author, quit my job, launched my consultancy, learned how to drive.

This isn’t a goodbye to New Orleans—I met a lot of wonderful people there and I will be back to visit them and the city frequently. This, instead, is a thank you to New Orleans. Thank you for showing me the way home.
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An impromptu 36 hours back home 🩵
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