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Infinite Kusama 💐

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11
I throw a large Christmas party every year that is centered around gifts. Fifteen years of around a hundred people pick up a present at midnight that someone brought or made at our gift wrapping station. I direct them not to open it, then to exchange it with the people around them, and I ask everyone to tell their receivers things like what they want for Christmas and what they love about each other. Then in unison we all open our gifts. 

This all started because when I was 17 my friends argued that I can't show up every year with elaborate gifts. That they needed a deadline to know when the gifts were coming, and joked that they needed a Trishmas. 

I agreed, and threw a giant party where too many people showed up and everyone I loved passed out in their car at 10pm because I was 18 and bad at making jello shots. The next few years after that my girl would call me in September to make sure it's happening so she could get started on her elaborate ginger bread house. I knew deep down it could never end even though back then I was sure every year was the last. 

Trishmas has always been a community effort that's bigger then myself and I'm grateful for everyone that participates. I loved watching people get out of their cars this year unable to take everything in one trip. People really get it and show out.

Every year someone cries and can't figure out why but I think it's because there's something deeply profound about unwrapping love and it's a magic they haven't experienced in a long time if ever. Giving and receiving with no exchange is a process of letting go, trusting, and creating space. I hope we all take something from this holiday into the rest of our days. 

This year I hand made six gifts and thrifted a little over 30. I can't explain why I feel so compelled to do this. There's even an amazing woman I've exchanged gifts with for 17 years. It's my love language? A personal challenge? I haven't gotten to a place where I can mail out gifts, or have gift bags on the way out, probably because I burn myself to a crisp every season. But there's always next year. 

Your gifts, wrapped or not, and your presence are special. I hope you go out and give.
26
feeling very opheliaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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