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✨3 years clean and sober today 🖤 My life is nothing like I thought it would be. This last year was a slow crawl through darkness and struggle and facing those emotions that I used to have to drown. Each day I got to show up for my life, free of any substances, clear headed, and as open hearted as possible. To say life is a transformative journey is an understatement.

I barely recognize the person I was three years ago. I only vaguely can see the person I was a year ago. I couldn’t be more grateful for the changes. Grateful for each and every person in my life, each space and community I get to be a part of, and each morning I wake up sober ✨🖤
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I spent more of 2018-2023 asleep than I did awake. I gave up, I didn’t care about most anything but most especially I didn’t care about myself. If you’re asleep most of everyday, you don’t have to feel anything and not caring becomes simple. I could avoid reality if I was asleep >18 hours each day (sometimes more). Some of my loved ones did not give up on me and I found myself checking into treatment 3 years ago today to address my mental health. I had always felt “out of control” and “crazy” not knowing how to process any emotions in a respectful and mature manner that felt true to who I was or align with my values. I would come out of these depressive and manic episodes wondering who had taken over my mind and body for the past X amount of time, because it didn’t feel like it was me. Everyone could see it happening and I felt so much shame and embarrassment but couldn’t get myself to get up and change. It’s been over 11 years since I came to terms with the fact that I needed help. It’s been 8 years since I actually asked for help. 3 years ago today, I made a pivotal decision to do better. Days are still challenging and my performance has been far from perfect but I’m thankful that I can no longer relate that person dying in her bed anymore. While this work has fully consumed me for so many years, I’m starting to see and feel everything I’ve worked for becoming reality and someone who I better align with. Here’s a few mems of the past 3 years & friends who helped make it all happen 💕 To know me is to know that this has changed my life for the better and I’m highly supportive of others doing whatever it takes to be their very best self + it’s never too late to ask for help! You also then know how big of a rollercoaster this has been. I’m thankful for my friends & family who showed up for me in ways I never thought were possible. XO 🥳
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Scorpio szn is almost over, but Scorpio behavior is forever
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back to up