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From the La Dispute Rooms of the House North American Show in our mutual hometown of Grand Rapids, MI. A first glance at the footage that has, like most Vagabonds related things, been dormant on my hard drive for some time.

Two years ago this week, or so I have been reminded, Vagabonds played one of the most significant shows of my personal & musical journey. Sold out to thousands at 20 Monroe supporting my past tour mates, my neighbors, my dear ones.

Were there ever a moment to “strike while the iron’s hot,” that was probably it. Were I a savvy business person, I would’ve subsequently hit up friends at agencies and labels to keep the momentum rolling. The thing is, this public journal I’ve been keeping on and off since I was 17 called Vagabonds isn’t a business.

Furthermore, I’ve keenly developed a knack for doing things at the “wrong time”… like finally posting footage from the show two years later. That’s my way, though, and the gaps in between contextualize these moments even more for me.

My life changed drastically shortly after that night. When I started to rebuild and catch my breath, it changed again. Then again. The potential “go for it” moment came and left, and that is alright with me.

Truthfully, that wasn’t my “go for it” moment, though.

It was more so the moment of fulfillment of that time in my life, as well as of that full band iteration of this project.

What could be more significant than playing a packed room in my hometown alongside some of my sweetest friends and in the presence of my family and loved ones? If that doesn’t quench the tireless thirst of youth, I don’t know what else could.

There are still many songs yet to be sung. One of them I debuted at this show but never released… at least not yet. In the scope of achievements, I’ve wanted for little since then other than to simply keep creating and sharing what I write at my own pace. With that, I think it’s about that time to share something new again. Stay tuned.

With love, 
💐
L. S. Dean

🎥 @oceanangelstar
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Our friends Cyadine & Hardlore present… the debut album Violence In Measure. Go listen to it today.
Michigan remains on top. 👑
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When I was 17, I wrote this song called “Embers” one night while sitting in a park parking lot sometime around the first weeks of my senior year of high school. For whatever reason (probably something to do with the newly arriving fall), I’ve been thinking about it more lately than I have in years. I’ve found myself watching the DIY music video back a couple times over the past month. It’s a compilation of formative moments from my first tours the autumn after I graduated.

This track & the whole EP to which it belonged were scrubbed from the internet in a late teenage wave of self deprecation. My inner critic was overly harsh at the time. Being what feels like lifetime older now, I can say that If I heard a youngster in my local scene writing these songs at 17 and subsequently hopping in a van for months to play them on an acoustic guitar around the country, I’d be proud of them. In that breath, I am now proud of the (deeply misguided & misinformed) young person I was.

Last night, on the phone with my mom, she brought up this group of songs that I’d once hated but she loved. On that call, I referenced the line “an artist’s first work can be their greatest under a different set of lenses” from @thehoteliergram track “An Ode to the Nite Ratz Club”. I don’t know if that applies exactly here, but a certain subsect of my friend group from that period would probably argue that it is.

Anyway, it feels good to look at the past from time to time now that I don’t live there. In contrast to the refrain of this song, I’m not holding myself back anymore.

P.S. Thanks @_theartofb_ for sitting with me at your desktop for hours piecing this together over a decade ago.
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