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Long time no writing. The subject is • not knowing •

I’m still landing back in my motherland — without my own house, or even winter clothes. 🥶

I remember the day my company called me back. I was in tears, saying to myself: I’ve closed everything that belonged to me over there. No house, no belongings… How am I going to resettle?

It’s been 3 weeks since I came back. Feels like 3 months. I’m staying at my parents’ home, wearing my mom’s clothes 😅, and still don’t have a place of my own.

The old me would have kept complaining, listing all the to-dos, pushing herself to the limit, squeezing house-hunting into the tiny gaps between nonstop meetings — and probably would have already moved into a new place, for better or worse.

The new me is still struggling, but also feels a deep inner peace in not knowing what to do next. Simply embracing all the love that is here to be received. Enjoying being in the arms of my parents and friends. Meeting new people. Returning to places I hadn’t been to in a long time.

Did I return forever?
Will I go back?
When will I go back?
Will I ever go back?
Where will i go next?

Not only me, but even my friends have stopped asking these questions😅. I think they also understood what life has been teaching me for quite some time now.

So the answer is simply: I don’t know, for the moment.

There is a deep knowing inside me that I’ve been called back to Turkey for a reason. Having this feeling that im stopping by here- again for and before a change - 
The call can seem coming by the company but there is always the unseen behind the seen. And I try to stay open — to receive it and to embrace it.

Trusting that what is coming is the best for me.
Flowing with what life brings.

For now, it has brought Germany for the next few weeks, and a couple of times this year — but apart from that, I don’t know...

I’ll fly. 
Like a bird.
I’ll flow.
Like the water.
— these are my main elements.

I’ll simply try to fulfill the cup in the best way that the universe places me in. 
Try to experience every old and new form with full awareness and presence.

For the moment, 
that’s all I know🫡

Om namo narayana🏹
Ece.
22
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