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denver, co | @piphiboulder 🪽
1 corinthians 16:14
john 13:7
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shoulder to shoulder in boulder 🤸‍♀️☀️
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He’s gonna go so far and we’re definitely not angry. Emotional, yes, but so insanely excited and proud - which is a very strange place to be…caught between 2 drastic emotions. 🥹
On the one side, there is deep joy and gratitude that he is happy and close and that I have had a front row seat to watch him thrive. My heart of hearts knows that he is going to soar to beautiful heights, but on the flip side, my mama heart is just going to miss him so so much. 
The night before move in, we were doing our handshake before we went to bed and it hit me. Have I been preparing for him to have a space away from home for months? Yep. I researched all the best boy dorm stuff, watched a million reels on how to best be here for him and set him up for success, but, I think my brain was protecting my heart from truly realizing it until it was smack dab in front of my face. And yesterday, as we started saying goodbye, I got hit smack dab again. Hard. 
Couldn’t stop crying, even though I wanted to be strong for him. But I also wanted him to know that this goodbye was hard for me and that when things are hard, it’s ok to cry. I’ll gather myself and get back to life and get back to Boulder every single chance I get, but I couldn’t hide my sadness for having to watch my first baby bird launch from our nest, even knowing just how bright his future is and how much i believe in him. I know im not losing him…hopefully gaining a deeper even more meaningful relationship with him…but I do feel like Im losing a part of me. The part of me that became a mom for the first time and did my best to give him the best life. I’ll keep doing that in a different way, but I’m feeling the grief of losing that sweet season of my life. Just trying to suppress that grief and focus on the happy, but not gonna lie, it’s hard. 
Maxwell Sutter, as I wrote on all the Easter egg post-its I left throughout your room, I love you and will always be a phone call or text or hour drive away. You have made me so happy and so proud and I can’t wait to watch you truly shine in the very best way. 
Ily2tmab2tmab2tmab2iab ❤️
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Where heaven meets earth!!! ⛰️💖✝️
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Thank you Valor. Forever grateful. 🦬🦬
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