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Maggie Day

@maggieday555

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If you can please click this link, if you have a $1 or $20 or just a post & share it would move mountains struggling with brain tumor recovery & care

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I miss Instagram. Instagram before the ads, before the pretense and the productivity machine it’s made everyone. I used to love posting photos and looking at my friends updates. I realized all of this today on the 100th ad I just angrily scrubbed through. A summer of updates in a post because the algorithms got me forgetting to take photos which was once a pathway to joy.

And because it’s finally Fall and while it might be hot as hell in Los Angeles - the sun sets earlier and the darkness brings a reprieve from the 100 degrees. For me, a time to breathe.

And share.

June 1st I moved out of my beautiful apartment next door to my sis. Not out of desire, but necessity. My lovely wonderful most generous friend Sarah opened her spare room to me and what was supposed to be a month is now hitting four.

I got sick for four weeks from June to the end of July.
Drank vodka from a Red Bull after climbing to the top of a tree house in Hollywood.
Saw friends I haven’t seen since I first moved to LA - 20 years ago now.
My best friend forced me to leave LA for a week in August.
My dad came for a visit to help with Big sis, I went to the beach for the first time in 3 years.
My Little sis came for a visit to help with Big sis, I went to the beach for the 2nd time in 3 years.

I remembered the smell of the ocean heals the broken.

I caught Covid for the first time on my 41st birthday.

I remembered that Nelly was the best Nurse and that missing her will be the greatest honor of loving her and accepting the love she gave.

I learned that Grace is patience - with chronic illness and pity parties. Grace is allowing a friend to sleep for five days. Grace is forgiveness and the hope that maybe in an hour from now things will feel…different. Grace is the belief that people can only show up how and when they’re able. And that more often than not, the wait is worth it.

Hopeful for a Fall that feels a touch lighter, on the body, the heart, the spirit. Thank you to all who continue to share your Grace with me.

🎈🎈🎈🎈

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Idk how to make a story

Idk what a reel is

Idk how post a link - except on my bio!

I do know my remaining #braintumor grew 2 much
aGAIN

And get this, I got a new 1 coming mother f🤬

I would be getting radiation right now

Due to the state of the complex recovery Big Insurance laid out for me

& unrelenting emergencies from the last couple months

Ive got 6
Months to get stable physically to avoid worse - than death

I lose more of myself week to circular assisted suicide designed AI ‘help’ bots.

Oligarchs think it’s fun…

They optimize for not just death
- but stolen time.

They measure the pain.

For every $110 they demy a PT, they spent $1millliion to escalate immobility & TORTURE

Wearables, right?

Bc if there weren’t metrics, what would they have for entertainment

If you understand

Please do your thing

they killed my #dog

Evicted my #Caregiver

Are stealing my dad

they are coming fast for worse.

I don’t have the words
#But if you do please help me raise #mutialaid

I need your help

If you can do what I can’t anymore, post in your voice, in your style, reach out to friends, I’ve been 3/300 fail

So if you understand what I mean, can you help?

If loan me your brain & make posts w/ our caregiver GFM link in my bio, u got my 💔 forever

Our caregiver link is in my bio on Fb & here linkinbio👈

I went 7 rounds of seizures tonight

Sending post now- as is

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Love you Mason ♥️

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I’ve prayed two times in my adult life. Like the real kind of prayer, where you put your hands together, close your eyes, and you ask your God for help.

Nelly was my first foster. My next was a bulldog named Holly. I had her for three months and was DEVASTATED when Holly was adopted.

Couldn’t stop crying, hands together in prayer asking “Please show me I made the right choice,” devastated.

The next day I was sitting in my then home’s courtyard w/ all my neighbors. My phone rang, it was Nelly’s rescue, she was being returned. That was 6 years ago.

My big girl passed away yesterday at 1:37 pm, in her home, surrounded by her toys, her Puppy (@maggieday555) and myself. She’d been bravely and successfully battling lymphoma for 6 months, since just before my 40th bday.

Feb 2nd the cancer returned. I don’t remember much from February, just that we didn’t sleep through a single night, even when Maggie helped, she helped so much. I remember the kindness and generosity from my best friend Marley and the exact moment when Nelly looked at me and said “Mom, please no more. I’m tired.” And so I said, “ok big girl, no more.”

She went into comfort care & after a very scary night this week we made the decision to let Nelly go.

When her spirit left her body Maggie & I wept. Nelly’s pain was gone, up to Chihuahua she went. I am filled with relief she’s at peace. I will miss her everyday, forever.

Nelly loved her people. She had so many. She loved car rides, she loved jumping on my bed every morning for cuddles. She loved vacations and staycations, she was my Explorer Dog. She took me everywhere.

She loved watching her programs with M, I’ll never forget hearing sis explaining all the plots.
My heart breaks for Maggie.

More than anything, Nelly loved to make you laugh.
I hear ppl say their dogs saved them & I used to joke that I was def Nelly’s savior.

But the truth is, Nelly was the answer to all of my prayers. She made my life so bright, even in complete darkness. I will miss her humor, her big warm body, her wagging tail, her nightly watching me shower, taking her next door to visit sis.

You can stop working now, my Big, my Brave, my Beautiful Nelly. ♥️

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Today was a hard day.
Hard hard hard hard day. Nelly is ok, snoring away on the couch next to me. Thank you Marley, for the gift of 🌟life🌟
Which, I’m realizing, is far too short. When I was young the days would drag on to years, the future ahead of me just, stretching.

Now, at 40, I look next to me and I think “fuck, I forgot AGAIN.”

There’s never enough time. A reminder like a brick to the stomach.

I think it’s the curse of the human condition to forget that. Because we walk around and stuff it so far down, we get so busy with living this life, we forget that our time here is finite. Here today, gone today, something like that.

Today, I am grateful to have a few more days with my gentle giant, who came into my life unable to walk for anyone, terrified to get into a car, and refusing to move into my room and sleep for her first two weeks in my home as a foster.

Her first thunderstorm, i woke to her feet pounding on the ground, her nails skidding across the wood floor and her jumping into my bed. The rest…well the rest is a very long story - she was adopted, I fostered another who also got adopted - Nelly came back, we moved to Iowa, left Iowa, went to Florida and moved back to Los Angeles.

Maggie got sick and four homes later we live next door to my sister and now my biggest baby of them all is getting ready to cross the rainbow bridge.

I’ve got some very difficult decisions to make over the next week (again, thank you @marles_in_charge ) but at least, for the first time in six months, I don’t give a fuck about the dishes In the sink or the overflowing laundry bins because I’ve got my Nelly, and my sister, and when I zoom from out to in I’ve got all the laughs from this video and so much more from everyone around me.

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Happy birthday big sis.
Can’t imagine going through this crazy thing called life with anyone but you. Love you so so much.
I know one day we’ll get back to the top of that mountain.
#happybirthdaymaggie

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Three days in and off to a gr8 start.

Stepped in a heaping pile of dog shit BUT only on one shoe 🐕

Got bit by a cat BUT caught the infection b4 the infection caught me (don’t wait friends, advice from multiple friends 🫡)

Finally realized the dead of winter is NOT the time to start anything new so to celebrate I’ve been eating a hefty amount of donuts and sleeping until 10am

Started a Discord today and am already overwhelmed so I’ve silenced that group’s notifications

Oh and it’s my big sister’s birthday in six days (@maggieday555 )- if you know her number you better fu*king text her ✌️✌️

Happy new year folks 🖤🎀🖤

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Raise your hand if you remember this song 🙋🏼‍♀️

Raise your hand if you took selfies on disposable cameras just to hang them on your bedroom wall next to Teen Bop🙋🏼‍♀️

Raise your hand if this year has felt like ten in one 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️

I’m hearing from most of my people that this year has been a year. And ya - y’all know I agree. If I refuse to look closely, all I see are doctor appointments, ER visits (for more than just sis) hospital stays, cold dark hallways leading to out of order vending machines. Sometimes, a Coke can actually save the day. That was not a good day.

When I zoom in I see connection, community, my chosen ones. I see the power in prayer, the power in gratitude, the power in believing in those closest to you. I am so proud of my sister, my friends, my family, myself. I miss my Uncle Mason everyday.

I’ve got a lot more to say on this year and lot more photos to post. They will come soon (I hope).

For now, thanks for believing in me. For showing up to the best of your ability, my casting calls answered - not just once but twice, laughing at my jokes, forgiving my forgetting everything including birthdays and dates and return calls and being unable to finish the job.

It’s been a full weekend of two trips to two different pharmacies, the laundromat, combatting depression by vaulting myself out of this house and visiting friends - old and new, cuddling Maggie and Nelly and scrolling through this year of photos simply for the reminder that every day is a choice we get to make.
Embrace the emotions and the crazies and the onslaught of physical pain and simply…choose the day.

Xx
🍓🖤🍓

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The night has come.
The land is dark.
The moon is the only light I’ve seen.

And I woke this morning alone, afraid, terrified, riddled with guilt, a deeply depressing light blinking a reply to a question I never knew existed.

Nelly wouldn’t get out of bed, sick and more tired than I’ve ever been.
I cried. And I cried.
And I considered staying there, in that frozen position of overwhelm. But through my tears, at 6:35 am, exactly ten minutes after waking to that tidal wave of grief.

A light blinked my eyes open .. Again.

A notification from a friend. A relatively new friend. The gift of food, dropped at my front door before the sun had even risen, before her work, driven from the beach to the valley.

A drive by hand delivery. This even lifted Nellys chemo riddled body from sleep, running to the door to stick her big head in the cooler. Joy. Pure joy.

If you know, you know. Drive by deliveries, paper plates, voice notes, ribbons made from green and gold, moments of silence, these are the greatest gifts in times like these.

Because of this friend, I remembered The Month Of October.

I remembered that there will always be people who can’t or don’t or won’t … but that doesn’t change or minimize those that can. Those that do. Those that will.

Today, I am grateful for those that do. Those who text when they get home, who FaceTime from my favorite spot under the Brooklyn bridge, who take a chance by handing and sharing a stage and a story with us. Those friends who transport us to different timelines where they’ve had a daughter and you get to meet her for the first time.

I am grateful for those friends who continue to remind me that The Fall is often the greatest gift from life. Without her, we’d never even know this other side of life. We’d never know hope.

The fact that we are now seven days in November, the night comes early, the stars they shine, and the holidays are almost upon us, and still, we are here.

Thank you Casey (& Carter & Callie) for your big hearts.
Thank you Jill for believing in a future when I so often can’t, won’t, don’t.
Thank you Maggie for continuing to show up for you.

From mine to yours ♥️💕♥️💕

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I suppose we should thank Maggie’s neuro-surgeon who said the benefits of cuddling dogs far outweighs the germs they “might” carry. Nelly became Maggie’s at home nurse Day -75, before her surgery was even scheduled.
Happy belated #nationaldogday🐶 to Nelly. Over the past year she became Maggie’s nurse, became a patient, has always been the biggest baby dog.
In order of appearance ⬇️
1. Accepts the job
2. Works with Gwanpa on couch
3. Takes Christmas card VERY early
4. Cuddles w/ her patient and Mawm
5. Post-op cuddles w/ Mawm
6. Post-op cuddles w/ Puppy Patient
7. Post-show kisses
8. Driving Puppy Patient to hospital
9. Encourages Mawm in hotel
10. Helps Mawm get through work Zoom in hotel bathroom
11. Helps Auntie via Zoom catch up
12. Nurse becomes patient, first drive home
13. Mawm gets patient mirror bc favorite things
14. Nurse Nelly takes Puppy Patient outside
15. Mawm steals mirror from Puppy Patient - see above
16. Makes Mawm smile
17. Cuddles bc the nurse is wiped out
18. Works w/ Mawm (Mawm stole bed)
19. Bath time is favorite time ♥️

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It’s been a year. A YEAR. If I had to, I’d do it all over again. Pray we never have to.

Thank you to all our people. In this video and behind the scenes. Love you all big.

Love you the most most big sis.
You are my everything. ❤️

#shareyourcaregivingstory

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Me me me meeee!

I’ve been an observer of my life the last year(s), attempting to go with the flow when go with the flow is not in my nature. My bones do not understand the “just go with it Josie”.

BUT as I head into a new decade I shall try to sew together the pieces of my life I’ve been missing, been meaning to close, been wishing and praying never existed in the first place

Thank you all for sticking by my side this far. See you in August see you in September see you all sooner than later I hoper 🙏🥹🥲

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