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One of the simplest ways to build better friendships as a man👇

Stop with the “sus,” “zesty,” “meat riding,” “no h0m0” and other jokes! These jokes are intensifying the loneliness and isolation crisis acutely felt by men and boys worldwide, leading to negative mental health outcomes and shocking statistics such as 2/3 of American boys aged 18-23 feeling like NOBODY really knows them well. (Source - @equimundo_org State of American Men 2023 Report)

To explain further…

Across the world, one of the primary factors influencing the behavior of most men and boys is h0m0phobia. This may feel controversial but it is both truthful and under-acknowledged. The weaponization of shame under the value system of patriarchy has the majority of men & boys gripped by fear - the fear of being othered, ostracized, rejected and targeted for being perceived as gay or feminine is undeniable. Despite so many of the qualities being labeled as gay having nothing to do with sexuality - they are simply human!

Expressing your emotions, hugging your friends, complimenting your friends, being friendly, kind, being vulnerable - this is a small sample of the exhausting list of things that feel inaccessible to men and boys because of the shame that may come from exhibiting these behaviors. And these are the very things that build trust and strengthen relationships!

Sure, things like “no homo,” and “meat riding” and “zesty” may feel like harmless banter between friends, but the reality is that these phrases just exacerbate incredibly harmful stereotypes of masculinity AND inhibit closeness between friends.

We’ve created a culture where too many men are afraid of saying “I love you!” or “I’m proud of you” or “You’re a really great friend” and so VERY few men are regularly receiving this sort of positive affirmation, acknowledgement, and emotional intimacy.

So let’s cut this out and set a new trajectory for men and boys. Let’s model for the world what affectionate, true friendship and brotherhood looks like among men.

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What would you do with more energy?
Would obstacles seem smaller?
Would goals seem more achievable?

Here is a challenge for you. Think about Energy management over Time management. In this latest episode, we cover practical tips for manufacturing more energy and taking inventory of what’s holding us back.

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