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Matty Brian | Grey Man Comedy

@mattybriancomedy

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💂 Soldier
✏️ Helping comedians write stronger jokes
🎭 Stand-up • Sitcoms • Storytelling
🤝 Comedy writer & collaborator
🏅 @proj.comedy Ambassador
🇬🇧 UK
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August 2026 has been a blast. From Blackpool to Edinburgh. #dragqueen #blackpool #edinburghfringe #funnygirlsshow #comedy
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😂 Fancy a laugh? Here’s another original joke from Grey Man Comedy. If it made you smile, give it a like, leave a comment, and share it with someone who needs a laugh. Follow @MattyBrianComedy for more original jokes, stand-up comedy, and relatable humour. ——— #Comedy #StandUpComedy #Jokes #Funny #GreyManComedy A comedy quote card from Matty Brian (@MattyBrianComedy) on a blue background with Grey Man Comedy branding. The text reads: “When I was at school, people used to call me a geek because I was into Lord of the Rings… I’m not saying they were right, but even my GCSE results said… ‘YOU SHALL NOT PASS!’”
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Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey has got everyone talking, but I still couldn’t make head nor tail of it… ——— #ChristopherNolan #TheOdyssey #MovieHumour #comedywriting #GreyManComedy A Grey Man Comedy social media graphic featuring the joke: “I didn’t really understand Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey… It was all Greek to me.” The design has a blue-grey background, a white rounded rectangle, a profile photo of comedian Matty Brian, and the Grey Man Comedy logo at the bottom.
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🚨 I’m really proud to now have my own profile on the Project COMEDY website. It tells a bit of my story, from over two decades in the British Army to my love of writing and stand-up comedy, and how Project COMEDY has helped me grow. Writing has always been something I’ve enjoyed, but Project COMEDY has given me a new way to make sense of my experiences, connect with people, and hopefully make them laugh along the way. If you’re interested in my background, what I write about, or why I believe comedy can be such a powerful tool for recovery and transition, have a read. Thank you to everyone at @proj.comedy for the support and belief you’ve shown in me. 🔗 Link in Bio… ——— #ProjectCOMEDY #StandUpComedy #ComedyWriter #Veterans #Storytelling Screenshot of comedian Matty Brian’s profile page on the Project COMEDY website. The page features a headshot alongside the title “Comedy Writer, Project COMEDY Ambassador”, contact information, and sections describing his background as a British Army veteran, his journey into comedy, and how Project COMEDY has supported his confidence, recovery, and development as a writer and performer.
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You know when a character goes underwater in a film and you try holding your breath to see if you’d survive too? Don’t try it whilst watching Finding Nemo. 🐠 Turns out Pixar films are a serious fitness test! ⸻ #Comedy #FindingNemo #RelatableHumour #comedywriting #GreyManComedy A clean graphic with a blue-grey background featuring a humorous text post from comedian Matty Brian. The joke reads: “You ever hold your breath when a character goes underwater in a movie, just to see if you could do it too? I passed out 3 times watching Finding Nemo.” The design includes a profile photo, the handle @MattyBrianComedy, and the Grey Man Comedy logo at the bottom.
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📚 I was scrolling through my Amazon order history and found my very first purchase. 2 March 2007. I was 19 years old, on tour in Afghanistan, and I’d bought a book called Comedy Writing Secrets. Back then, I genuinely wanted to write comedy. But after a few people took the piss, I convinced myself it was a stupid idea and quietly gave up. Looking back, I wish I’d ignored them. If I’d kept writing for the last 20 years, I might actually be funny by now… 😅 Instead, I’m starting again. Better late than never. 🎭✍️ ——— #ComedyWriting #StandUpComedy #ComedianJourney #MilitaryHumour #BetterLateThanNever Screenshot of an Amazon order showing the user’s first-ever purchase, Comedy Writing Secrets (2nd Edition) by Mel Helitzer, bought on 2 March 2007. The bright yellow book cover is visible beneath the purchase details, symbolising the beginning of a comedy-writing journey that started while serving on tour in Afghanistan.
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When your mate takes protest voting VERY seriously. 😂📞 Apparently, the solution to keeping Nigel Farage at bay is simple: move to Clacton, register to vote, and get behind Count Binface. I’m not sure I’m quite that committed to the cause. 🤣 A little bit of British political comedy and an entirely reasonable discussion about whether relocating your entire life for an election is taking things too far. Would you relocate for politics, or is that where you draw the line? 🗳️ ——— @countbinface @nigel_farage ——— #BritishComedy #PoliticalComedy #CountBinface #NigelFarage ComedyReels
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🚀 Remember when Pluto was a planet? So do I… This is School Planetary Adventures Cleverly Explained, a humorous poem I wrote for my kids inspired by school science lessons, dodgy memory tricks, and the kind of jokes that almost always ended with a trip to the Head’s office. 🤦‍♂️ From learning about the solar system and the planets to discovering just how easily one badly-timed joke can derail a lesson, this is a nostalgic trip back to the classroom with a few laughs along the way. If you ever got told to “stop messing about” in science, this one’s for you. Which line made you laugh the most? 🌍✨ #ComedyWriting #FunnyPoem #SchoolMemories #BritishHumour #SpaceFacts Illustrated cover for a humorous poem titled School Planetary Adventures Cleverly Explained. A schoolboy sits at his desk daydreaming about space while the Solar System stretches across a classroom chalkboard. The planets are labelled from Mercury to Pluto, with Pluto marked “Not a Planet!” A rocket, astronaut, stars and handwritten space facts surround the scene, along with a funny mnemonic for remembering the planets. The artwork has a nostalgic, children’s book style with a playful, educational feel.
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👓☕ I’ve noticed that as I get older… I’ve started seeing things differently. Apparently, “getting a new perspective” just means holding the menu further away and wondering why every restaurant has suddenly started using tiny fonts. 😂 If you’re reading this with your phone at arm’s length, welcome to the club. Tag someone whose eyesight has quietly declared retirement. 👀 #RelatableHumour #Over40Humour #BritishComedy #FunnyReels #EyesightProblems
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There’s no way a horse drew this… 🐴✏️ If this made you groan, we’re probably going to get along. 😂 #Comedy #DadJokes #Wordplay #HorseDrawn #SketchComedy A detailed pencil sketch of a traditional horse-drawn carriage without a horse attached. The image is overlaid with the joke: “There’s no way a horse drew this.” One tiny suggestion on the joke itself: I’d write it exactly as: There’s no way a horse drew this. No exclamation mark. The deadpan delivery makes it even funnier, which fits the style you’re developing on your Instagram.
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If you enjoy dry British humour, jokes, and observational comedy, give me a follow for more. #BritishComedy #ObservationalComedy #MarriageHumour #DadJokes #ComedyWriter A comedy quote card on a blue-grey background featuring a profile photo of comedian Matty Brian. The text reads: “My wife used to work for Tesco. Now she works for Sainsbury’s… I’ll be honest, I can’t taste the difference.” The Grey Man Comedy logo appears at the bottom.
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I ordered the new Bonnie Blue Funko Pop… but when it arrived, the box was smashed in. 📦😂 If you enjoy original one-liners, observational comedy and the occasional terrible pun, hit follow @MattyBrianComedy for a new joke every day. #Comedy #OneLiner #BritishHumour #jokewriting #MattyBrianComedy A comedy quote card by Matty Brian on a blue-grey background with a white panel. The joke reads: “I ordered the new Bonnie Blue Funko Pop… but when it arrived, the box was smashed in.” The Grey Man Comedy logo appears at the bottom of the image.
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