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Discus Jockey & Things | ft. collins CO

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$Three days ago, on September 9th, one of my best friends took his own life. I’m still struggling to comprehend it, let alone find the words to capture just how incredible of a person Derek was, but I’ll try. When I moved to Colorado, I knew that working at the local climbing gym would help me find a solid group of friends... I was right. If you knew Derek, you couldn’t help but love him. He was hilarious and kind, deeply talented, and one of the most genuine people I’ve ever been blessed to know. He made every moment a party, always the first to hit the dance floor, usually with some chaotic moves that left people rolling. He brought an infectious energy that made you also want to push the boundaries of “socially acceptable.” He was unapologetically himself, giving everyone around him permission to be the same. I was constantly in awe of his abilities. He could build or fix literally anything, and his musical talent was unmatched. He had the voice of an angel and could absolutely shred on the piano. Derek was the person I knew would drop everything for me. Whether it was grabbing a beer, being my personal non-licensed therapist, or fixing my stupid fucking car (which I’m now grateful had so many problems), he was always there. No hesitation. No complaints. Just a loving, dependable friend. I keep asking myself: WHAT IF I had just texted him? WHAT IF we’d actually grabbed that drink? Would he still have done it? Could I have at least delayed it? I knew Derek carried a deep sorrow. I tried to help lift it, to shake it from him, but I didn’t do enough, and that will haunt me. NO ACTION IS TOO BOLD WHEN IT COMES TO PROTECTING THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE. Make time. Show up. And when someone opens up to you... fucking listen. I’d give anything for one more laugh, another squeeze, or even just a goodbye. I wish I could tell him how much he meant to me, and to all of his friends. I wish he could see himself through our eyes. Priceless. Derek, I pray to God you felt the love I had for you, even a fraction of what I felt from you. Rest in peace my sweet friend.$

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Michael Barker

@mgmb93