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Natalie D

@nattydmusic

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My dearest,

where this letter shall find you, I don't know.

I hope, on some far-flung adventure.

I don't want this to cause you any alarm,
but I've not been entirely honest in my previous letters.
I didn't want to worry you.
Or perhaps I have lived too long with secrets and have become over reliant on them.

All has not gone well with me here.

I've been low and sedentary,
Unwilling to go outside.
Sunk into a kind of unhealthy lethargy,
Sunk into something like my own sadness.

I haven't heard from God in years,
He has quite disappeared from our lives, I think.
I feel his absence keenly... it's a cutting void.
If I believed in the old words, I would pray to him.
But that's gone for me now.

Perhaps that is the root of what has been troubling me.
I have left my faith,
Or it has left me.
Thus, my prospects seemed only a long, dark corridor without an end.

I have done things in my life for reasons that seemed right and even moral in their violent immorality.
And now I stand without that God upon whom I have always depended.

But please do not fear for me.
I have no fear myself.
The old monsters are gone.
The old curses have echoed to silence.
And if my immortal soul is lost to me, something yet remains.

I Remain.

So I sign off now with hope, and, as ever, with love..

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Do Not Suffer the Fools.

In ignorance they are complacent

This lack of advancement is so unbecoming,
and their truths are not quite forthcoming
in a land where the lies are simply stunning.

Sloth fuels stupidity and they grow brazen

Menageries of heathens who just don't care
to find out what lies beyond their
world of superficial aesthetic layers.

Philosophy dies in the mind of a fool.

When all that they have is their own effects
they only care who knows who and what comes next,
but their simple notions leave me perplexed.

To them life is a game without any rules

The fool only cares about what he can win
in this game where it all begins
with a shallow mind and a smidgen of sin.

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Paper Moon

What if loves I once ceased to know
were just my own mistakes to blame
How can I then tender a hope
when all my excuses go lame

Then all the stars would fall to earth
as the lights went out in the sky
Leaving me dark and by myself
to then ask of my god but why

The breeze picks up what's left of life
as it cleans the lost slate away
The four winds then come whisk and blow
memories of a finer day

At times I am my own worst pain
not the way I wish it should be
Failing to recognize problems
not in others but within me

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#dreambigger

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Sleep, I've forgotten what that feels like.
Counting the minutes to each new sunrise
Whilst watching the days get shorter
Medicating the pain into the background

Eyes open, each movement screams awake
A thousand needles move under the skin
Weaving this tapestry of flesh and bone
An endless picture of what I've become

Shaking under the strain, the cracks appear
Small, too small to notice darkness creeping
Eroding the wall that holds back the dog
Waiting to charge, waiting to bite

Weeks pass as moments when the pain fades
But like an unwanted guest, refuses to leave
Reminding me that this is not over
Invading my dreams and crushing my will

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Thou Art Immortal

Not all photographers can shoot forever,
Not all writers can write forever,
Not all artists can be in love with art forever,
One thing's for sure, art will be there forever

Though artists may lose interest,
Though they may run out of ideas
Though they may get crippled by old age
Art will remain, in their hearts, minds and souls

Though musicians can fall deaf,
Though singers may turn mute,
Although we all start to fade,
Art will always be there powered by our love

I may one day lose the capability
To write my poems in pen and paper
But the art will forever remain
In my mind, in my heart, and in my soul

Art is the fuel that keeps me running,
Art is my life.

#love #life #art #immortal

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Shades of gray will reveal pivotal chains
Mute those parted ways
Self has gone and took the pouring rain
Washed into a futile day

Spinning visions of decadence turn and wear
Those wheels in your mind
Bending and freely waving yet never tear
Their yearning urges yet to find

Transcendental lines are written in rhyme
Understood only by you
Read once before in your other time
Found somehow to be true

Place your silent voice under a hidden rock
Your frivolous wishes upon a star
What once was open has now been locked
Can you still reach that far?

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I write because this is my life.
This is how I will remember this world.
I write to draw myself out of strife.
When I want to remember that cheerful pearl.

This is not what I’ve become.
This is what I was born to be.
After years of feeling numb
The words of my mind have set me free.

I write because I have failed.
I have won also on better days.
I write when all has prevailed.
When I can’t shake the giddy haze.

These words are embedded so deep within me.
Constantly writing myself out of stories of doubt.
Feeling deep connections with stories my mind has seen.
Cut me open and ink would run out.

I write when I have had it.
Losing my cool with these words every now and again.
I write because I’m an addict.
And I will never put down my pen

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I have the sweetest co-workers especially @nattydmusic7 .. Happy Birthday to me!! #needamortgageloan? #32yearsyoung #olderandwiser #couldntbehappierthanwhereamat

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Go follow @nattydmusic7
she just rejoined ig!
She's an amazing writer and singer!
We're singing on an acoustic cover of miguel and ludacris -good lovin
#AcousticGuitars by @_ugotdklined

It will be coming soon!!!! #nowthatsludacris #miguel #ludacris #music #musicproduction #amazingvoice #greatvoices

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