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Throwback to December ✨

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2025 was the year of live music —

1. @middlekidsmusic in March with @palibell7
2. @ziggyalberts in March with @iserj
3. @lilmallrat in April with @onepictureaday
4. @thetempertrap in May with @lizzybethmichelle @maddybowmer
5. @spacey_jane in June with @sallyj24 @luke_yarrow1
6. @limecordiale @sydneysymphonyorchestra in October with @snowdomes @queenbean79
7. @rentmusicalau in November with @palibell7 @pongrac
8. @hotdubtimemachine in November with @kgolds02 @misstessf

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🏆 Big weekend in Yamba for the Bronte crew at the @big.clarence paddle race!
Great seeing our paddlers take on the 26k solo and relay distances and bring home a few medals🥇   
🥇 1st Sam Burrows / Tom Wilsmore — (Junior U18) and overall Open Men Relay!
🥇 1st Anthony Burrows — (Solo Men 45-59)
🥈 2nd Grant Lyndon — (Solo Men 45-59) 🥉 3rd Regan Washer — (Solo Men 45-59)
🥈 2nd Lydia Boyle — (Solo Female Open 19-44)
🥇 1st Anne De Groot / Kirra Finikiotis — (Female Open Relay)

Well done to @bondilifeguards @bolewskijoel on winning the race again this year and to @bondisurf.club @jodel81 who won Gold for her first Big Clarence 👏🏼

See you all next year, training starts today!
📸 @sharon_mitchell_images

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Thanks @big.clarence for this beautiful race, 26Km done 🙌 Great weekend with the @brontesurfclub crew

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Well that’s a wrap on @big.clarence 2025!
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What an awesome race event & weekend with a bunch of total legends from @brontesurfclub (and a coupla ring-ins from Bondi 😎).
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This year it was 26kms instead of the usual 47kms. I’d have to say that it’s actually much harder, because the whole race needs to be a sprint.
I definitely learnt how close I can get to blowing up in the last phase of a race!
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This is my favourite prone paddling event on the calendar.
The whole process of training - a lot of the time in the dark with headlamps on in the harbour, building the team, and the mental & emotional game of what it means to build toward goals and hopefully smash them 💥 is an experience that builds so much character & inner grit. I always finish this whole process feeling so nourished and proud of myself. This is such an important thing for men to continue feeling and creating for themselves- especially after 50yrs old.
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There is something very special about our very niche sport of distance prone paddling. We head out beyond the waves, beyond the shores & banks of our waterways, and we go into a process that is both deeply connected to nature, and forces us to be brutally honest and transparent with ourselves. As my dear mate @dave.finnimore has always told me, “it s a house of mirrors out there mate!”. So very very true!
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Looking forward to taking even more frothers up for next years event and a massive thanks to Ben Sullivan for all his hard work & his team for putting it on! A very tough & gruelling job & we are super grateful 🙏
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#paddle #pronepaddle #distance #oceansports #waterfitness #goals #teamspirit #northernriversnsw #digdeep #makingmemories #surfsports #mates #community #goodtimes #gratitude
@antbronte @bolewskijoel @guillaumebardou @jnrfinook @jodel81 @stalleyrich @onepictureaday @krackasurfcraftaustralia @sharon_mitchell_images

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Team @brontesurfclub ready to tackle tomorrow’s @big.clarence 💥💥💥
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Let’s go!!!
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#paddle #pronepaddle #teamwork #teamspirit #bronte #mates #community #awaygame #waterfitness #trainhardrescueeasy #gratitude

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April. In April, I thought I had found the old version of me again. But in fact, it was a very new, yet familiar, version of me.

Before I dive into what will be the last of these monthly reflections, I want to say thanks. Thanks for the support and the outpour of love as I shared my journey with mental health over the past 16 months. Hundreds of people reached out in solidarity or to share their own stories with me – the challenges they’ve faced and the lessons they’ve learned. My family and close friends held so much space for me and made life lighter during darkness. Through it all, one thing I never felt was alone.

It is clear to me now that vulnerability builds connection, and I feel more connected than ever before.

I would be stronger on the other side of the rough, they said. Though it was hard to see at the time, I am there now, and it’s almost overwhelming just how much stronger I feel. I’ve found my best self again. I’ve stopped holding my breath. The heaviness has lifted. And happiness has once again found every part of me.

I have truly climbed myself out of depression. Although the (second) breakup earlier this year was a setback while I was on an upward trajectory, I found there was a clear distinction in my feelings – while the breakup brought a sad heart, depression brought a sad mind.

Now, I know anxiety. It’s a normal part of life. It feels like a superpower to be able to recognise these feelings as quickly as they arise and have the tools to manage their impact on me. I’ve become more compassionate, more empathetic, and more understanding as a result of this period of struggle. I am a different person because of it – a new, yet familiar, version of me.

As I embark on this new chapter of my life – new job, new sector, new workplace, new commute, new routine, new relationship status, new mental resilience - I see how important it was to have the courage to let go of what was hurting me. Now, I’m out of my comfort zone but am thriving because of it – Something I never could have said last year.

It turns out you don’t have to wait for things to be great to be grateful. Because it’s not having what you want – it’s wanting what you’ve got.

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December. December often brings the promise of newness for the year ahead. A blank page. A fresh start. But this year, that promise feels like pressure for a new beginning – for hardships to resolve themselves simply because a new year has dawned. The truth is, I’m not sure that January will bring newness. So I’m removing that pressure from myself.

Following a heartbreaking November, I cancelled plans to be with Rich’s family at the end of the year and instead hopped on the next flight to Toronto. In some respects it felt like I was fleeing pain without the time or space to process it.

2024 challenged me in ways I didn’t want to be challenged. But it also brought reflection, learning, and growth.

I had 5 work contracts in 9 months. Though the uncertainty initially led me to spiral, I learned to better manage anxiety and find my way back to a positive mindset.

I applied for 22 jobs, interviewed for 8, was talent-pooled for 5, and offered none. Though I was initially agonised and tortured by rejection, it was important for me to see that failure is a part of life. I saw progress here too – a newfound sense of calmness, viewing it not as rejection, but as not for me. I learned to trust that what’s for me will come.

And I fell in love. And for the first time that love was requited. Love is a many-splendored thing. Though that love came to pain me, I am proud of the way that I loved. I loved with altruism, delicateness, and depth. With honesty, care, and respect. This being my first relationship, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. But growth found me here too in becoming a better lover – I observed my own willingness to change and openness to self-improvement, which fills me with optimism for the future.

Some years ago, a friend shared some important words with me – “If you focus on the hurt, you continue to suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you continue to grow.” These words have guided me through December, and I hope through 2025 too.

And so, this closes the story of my year. You may see it as unresolved, and in some ways that is true. But I see it, now, as growth. I am not the same person I once was. I am stronger.

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September. September brought my second three-month contract to an end. With one week to go, I was granted a one-month extension. The uncertainty would now continue into October. I interviewed for, and was rejected from yet another job, but this time I embraced it with apathy instead of letting it steal my joy in the way previous rejections had.

In September, I invested my energy into growing my toolkit of emotional resilience with my therapist.

We worked through the practice of emotional agility – using the space between a trigger and my reaction to pause, think, and respond in a way that would see me thrive instead of spiral into a negative headspace. This required me to reflect on how I had reacted to triggers during the year, and demonstrate emotional agility the next time I encounter one.

She shared with me the concept of a life script – a narrative I tell myself that has the ability to control my emotions. A negative life script – “I’m so over this, bad things always happen to me” – will lead me to anxiety and depression. A positive life script – “I accept that I can’t control the past but I can reflect on it, learn from it, and grow from it” – will lead me to happiness and a growth mindset.

She encouraged me to practice visualisation – breathing in the good and breathing out the bad. I balked at this initially. But one morning, I walked down to the beach before sunrise and stared at the horizon. For ten minutes I inhaled confidence and exhaled anxiety. Having woken up in a negative headspace that morning, I was stunned by how this technique completely transformed my mood into a positive one.

We also practiced a range of other mental grounding techniques – detaching myself from my emotions so they didn’t control me – remembering how I have overcome adversity in the past – preparing a coping statement with which to give myself a pep talk in times of anxiety – using a sandwich technique to stop myself from playing the victim when I share my hardships with others.

In practice, I realised that not all these tools worked all the time – hence the toolkit – which allowed me to go through each technique one-by-one to find the right one for the right moment.

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February. Long summer days. Stunning sunrises. Camping in the Blue Mountains. Mates dropping off freshly caught fish from their morning haul. Sri Lankan hopper nights. Teaching again at the University of NSW. Saying yes to being Coby’s bridesman. A couple days up in Byron Bay.

In February I also had my last first date. I still remember that summer evening at Bondi Hardware when I saw Rich’s smile light up Hall Street as he spotted me through the front window. Sparks fly.

These memories paint a picture of a beautiful month – and it really was. But February was also the month when things started to change.

My passions in life give me a sense of purpose, bring me meaning, and empower me to make a positive impact. For me, work is one of those passions. So when the threat of redundancies started coming down the line, it impacted me like I never could have imagined. In February I saw many of my colleagues lose their jobs – people with whom I had built close relationships over the past seven years – people who inspired me – people who I aspired to be like. That was difficult for me, let alone dealing with what would be my own fate.

For the first time in my life, I started to experience a new emotion – anxiety. I’m sure I’ve experienced anxiety in some form in the past, but never like this. I would show up at the beach every morning – a shell of myself. Physically present but elsewhere in my mind. Replaying every possible scenario of what might happen to me in March. Catastrophising the worst possible outcome and then working backward from there. I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, but at the same time I couldn’t stop myself from doing it.

For the first time, the joy, optimism, and positivity that I bring to life just weren’t enough to overcome the anxiety that was growing within me.

And that was February.

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January. Take me back to January. January was a good month.

If I could go back to January now, only equipped with the resilience and strength I have built over the course of this year, I would do so in a heartbeat. But I suppose that’s life.

I started the year on holidays in Sri Lanka with my family and adorable little nephews Jasper and Leander – I know they count as family but their unprecedented level of cuteness deserves a special mention. I returned to Sydney early in the year to a great life that I had carefully curated for myself over the years. You know life is good when you’re excited to come home from holidays. Sunrise workouts at the beach (occasionally greeted by a pod of dolphins), ocean dips, and flat whites with mates every morning before starting work in a job that I was passionate about, in a team that motivated me, in an organisation that I believed in. My deep roots in the Bronte community kept me grounded. Weekends were warm, company was good. I prioritised the people and things I most enjoyed – cooking up feasts for mates, patrolling down at Bronte Beach, weekend getaways out of town, time outdoors, ocean swims, fun parties, video calls with the boys. Life was in perfect balance.

January was a good month. And looking back now, I appreciate it all the more.

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Happy International Dog day from us to all our awesome pet parents who continue to trust our team with their puppies every day of the week 🥰🥰

#DogWalking #InternationalDogDay #DogCare

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