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Angel, Ruby & Odin

@pressplayirl

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Punk rock mom. Ex-influencer. Pro content creator. Doula. Rebirth Olympian. I host play parties & retreats that break folks out of their *boring*.

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Back in 2024, I went to Bali to film podcast episodes.

I never published a single one.

It looked like a vacation, but I was there to microdose a little visibility. To see how comfortable I was putting myself out there.

Turns out, I still had some work to do.

Even after years of leading a business, teaching classes, and public speaking, being seen and heard never came naturally to me.

I have an RBF. I hunch my shoulders, cross my arms and sometimes make myself smaller without even realizing it.

My body can look defensive while the rest of me is trying very hard to be agreeable.

And when I’m nervous, my brain runs faster than my mouth. I mix up words and laugh awkwardly.

And there were people who thought they could do a better job. Some even told me so.

Outside of filming, I spent my time in teahouses, joined a water purification ceremony, explored different healing practices, and met people who saw the world differently.

Spending time with them made me question things I’ve always taken for granted, including why I’ve let other people’s opinions stop me from trying things I want to experience.

I think we’re so used to noticing who’s doing better.

Who’s prettier, thinner, richer. Who has more degrees, a better job, a more impressive life.

There’s always someone to compare ourselves to. And sometimes we’re so conscious of how we measure up that we hesitate to put ourselves out there at all.

Almost 3 years later, I still believe some of those people could do a better job than me. They probably can! 😂

But I no longer think that’s a reason to hold myself back.

Somewhere along the way, I’ve grown rather fond of myself. RBF, awkward laughter and all.

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘆. 𝗦𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘄𝗮𝘆.

So if you see me showing up here, in Stories, or at gatherings, I probably have something to share or an invitation for you.

I might not say it perfectly, but as long as you don’t 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 shoot the messenger, I’m happy to hear what you have to say back. 😂❤️

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Birth is an unruly, juicy center to the core of your being

In this episode of The Birth Pause, Angel takes us through the two births that split her life into a before and after.

Her first, a 45-hour labor that led her to an epidural, pitocin, and a vacuum-assisted delivery — and to the doula who would go on to change the direction of her life.

Her second, meant to be an unassisted birth at home, until a phone call brought an ambulance, then police, into the most vulnerable hour of her life. Her son arrived within minutes of reaching the hospital, with almost no one she’d planned on there to see it.

Angel speaks openly about fear, force, pleasure as a coping tool, the loneliness of co-parenting after birth with someone who didn’t share her reverence for it, and the strange gift both experiences gave her — an authenticity and body trust she’d never had before.

A conversation about what it costs, and what it gives back, to meet yourself in the pause after everything changes.

🎙️ New episode of The Birth Pause — link in bio
#BirthStory #Midwife #DoulaLife #BirthTrauma #birthwork

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Come play 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼 early🦜is live right now

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