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rachael || art

@radicallybeautiful

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Celebrating a socially distant closing for this awesome family yesterday. We’ll miss you over in Normal Heights but can’t wait to hear about all the awesome new memories to be made in your new home! #selbysellssandiego #normalheights #chulavista #closedescrow #onwardandupward

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I keep thinking about the impossibility of our Minnesota wedding if the pandemic had arrived a year earlier. When we decided to move our wedding North to Casey’s family home with 10 days notice, family made hasty travel plans, I found a vintage Irish linen dress at Cheap Thrills that happened to fit me like a glove, we packed food to share, rings purchased on Amazon, and last minute peonies from dear friends. Our priest squeezed in the flights to and from MN between a return from NYC and a flight to Israel, my sister Molly and Rachael Spacebird came on a red eye from San Diego, and my brother Forest drove through the night.
And here we all were, together.
It’s still bittersweet to look back on these pictures, feeling the depth of loss with Linda gone. But thinking on how many, many people are losing loved ones without the chance to celebrate one last joy or to give one last gesture of love. I grieve for them, and feel profound gratitude for our wedding day. “Your joy is your sorrow unmasked” - Kahlil Gibran
#practicingpresence #loveintimeofcorona #caseyanddorothygetmarried #oneyearlater #familylove

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Full heart ❤️

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Today is your 28th birthday. It coincides with Mother’s Day and yesterday my aunt passed from a brain aneurysm. My weary heart can’t bear the alignment of all three. I don’t have very many regrets in being gone in my wandering, but not being home to sit by her side or watch the sunset from your bench on your birthday is weighing heavy on me today.

It’s hard to belive in one month it will be a year since you left us. So much life has happened. So many changes and losses and hard lessons learned. I wish I had beautiful news to share, but life remains to be unrecognizeable. Milestones feel like they’re undeserving of celebration—the brokenness of my heart amplified because of your being gone.

I tell stories of our days together and it doesn’t sting as much as it used to. I think it’s because love now fully resides where the anger once did. I knew I loved you then, but that love has grown tenfold. In sharing your memory I am able to relive the best days of my life, even if those days are of the past. I hate that they’re growing with more distance every day that you’re gone.
Today I was supposed to start the Camino, but with the tragic news from home it didn’t feel right when so many people I love are hurting. I don’t understand why I’m constantly in this life-death-life cycle, but in facing yet another death, I must choose life.
On Wednesday I’ll take the train to Bayonne, France and begin walking the 900km through Spain from there. I’m taking the Northern route along the sea. It’s meant to be harder because of the weather and the steep terrain, but my soul is being called to the ocean. I have a feeling it’s because we’re on the heels of the anniversary of your death and I’m not one to ignore what my heart craves. When the days are the hardest, I hope to look out over the water and trust you both are there guiding me. Encouraging me to place one foot in front of the next. I never imagined I would feel this raw before embarking on this dream adventure but perhaps this was always how it was meant to go. Perhaps my soul needed to be stripped bare in order to evolve. I have no idea what’s waiting for me, but I hope your spirit is the thing to welcome me home.

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Happy 4th! 🇺🇸❤️

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Drinks with my favorite Spacebird and her love at a secret tiki bar last night. So amazing! #tiki #falsetool

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Pat and Rachael's final Lights Out show before they embark on the next chapter in their life! I'll be back next month at the Ken with some changes to the show so stay tuned!

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Always the consummate professional.

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Beautiful ladies on a beautiful day. #tbt #latergram #decemberwedding #childhoodfriends #foreverfriends

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When in San Diego... #pubcrawl #outonthetown #normalheights #sweetfriendship #latergram

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Don't entirely recall why this happened, but I'm glad that it did. Looks better on @patpooch2 anyway. #thingsyoufindcleaningoutyourphone

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