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30 || Tashkent, Uzbekistan • 2024 

Thirty feels so much younger than I ever imagined it would. I don't really feel like an "adult" yet, and I often feel a bit adrift—maybe even discontented—navigating adulthood. 

Historically, I have been someone who waits for anyone older, more experienced, or more senior (or rather, anyone I perceive to be any of these things) to guide me, validate my ideas, or make decisions for me—a quality I don't particularly enjoy about myself. 

In an effort to become more independent, I have moved to Central Asia, hoping that my 30s will begin with a greater sense of confidence in my own capabilities. 

Over the last three months in Uzbekistan, I have had to advocate for myself, practice patience, trust my gut, navigate social situations, be alone, and, as a teacher, lead others in ways I haven't in years—or ever before. 

It has been scary, exhausting, overwhelming, and, perhaps most importantly, refreshing. I view this last feeling as an indicator that all of the prior uncertainty and anxiety about this decision—all of the things and people I've had to let go of and say goodbye to—have been worth it. 

I'm not sure when I will feel like an "adult." For now, I merely hope to continue growing more sure of myself, more anchored in my convictions, more willing to go after the things I want, and more open to meeting people as great as those I've encountered thus far here in Tashkent—and everywhere else in the world where I've met someone who's had a lasting impact on me. 

Cheers to a new decade.
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