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Ruthie Ackerman

@ruackerman

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Author of THE MOTHER CODE, available now from @penguinrandomhouse / Memoir doula and editing dominatrix ✍🏻@nytimes @voguemagazine @oprahdaily & more.

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Meet Ruthie Ackerman, author of “The Mother Code”, joining us at MomTalks 2026 with her talk, Outlaw Mothers: Rewriting the Narrative on Motherhood. Ruthie is challenging the expectations we place on motherhood and making space for a more honest, complicated, and personal version of the story.
November 13–14, 2026 | Emory University, Atlanta, GA.
Tickets are on sale now. Link in bio.
#momtalksatl #discoveratlanta #motherhood #momlife #momboss

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Many women have absorbed the belief that being a mother and finding fulfillment beyond that role, whatever that looks like to you, sit at opposite ends of the spectrum.

In this week’s episode of Electric Ideas, Ruthie Ackerman and I explore what becomes possible when we stop treating our callings as competition for our love for our children.

🎧Wanting to be there for bedtime and wanting to bring something of your own into the world can both be true. Listen to “Balancing Motherhood and Ambition Without Losing Yourself” wherever you stream.

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On this week’s Electric Ideas podcast episode, Ruthie Ackerman breaks the silence and stigmas around alternative paths to motherhood.

We delve into her memoir, “The Mothercode: My Story of Love, Loss and the Myths that Shape Us,” recently named a best nonfiction book of the year so far by NPR.

🎧 Comment “podcast” for a link to “Balancing Motherhood and Ambition Without Losing Yourself.”

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What if nothing is terribly wrong... but staying still requires you to bury parts of yourself?

Ruthie had a good man and a safe relationship. For a long time, she believed that should be enough reason
to stay.

Leaving meant choosing uncertainty - and admitting that wanting something different was reason enough to
take seriously.

Comment RUTHIE and I’ll send you the full conversation.

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Maybe the goal isn’t to get your life exactly right.
Maybe it’s to get better at hearing yourself.

Which one of these did you need today?
Comment RUTHIE for the full conversation.

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How much of yourself can you give away before you realize no one actually knows you?

Ruthie thought she had built an empowered life. Then she realized how often she’d made herself easy,
undemanding and endlessly accommodating so she would be chosen.

Comment RUTHIE and I’ll send you our full conversation.

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How much of who you are was shaped by being loved, chosen, needed, or approved of?

Ruthie Ackerman spent years becoming who she thought other people wanted her to be. Until she started asking who she was underneath all of it.

Episode 12 of Inner Lives is out now.

Comment RUTHIE and I’ll send you the conversation.

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It took me 8 years to write LOOKS PERFECT and the story of how that unfolded isn’t neat or cute or short but I’m sharing because when I was writing, all I seemed to hear were stories of people cranking out books OR people giving up on books. Writing this book was a journey and I’m so beyond proud of it, and I’m especially proud of myself for pushing through all the resistance and ultimately for knowing that only I could make my dream come true for myself by confronting what stood in my way. This is going to sound so dorky, but I think part of what was holding me back from finishing the book was that in order for my protagonist to change and grow, I had to change and grow. The work hasn’t always been easy, but standing here, less than two months from sharing Stella’s story with the world, I know that it’s been worth it. ❤️ LOOKS PERFECT is available for preorder wherever books are sold and it would mean the world to me if you’d preorder it!!

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Holding grief and joy. The past week has been full of ups and downs, and the extremes of life. Though both emotions really serve to crack our hearts open, and experience life more fully.

As a writer, finding the truth of what I want to say often comes on the other side of what story craft teacher and podcast host @cece_lyra_agent calls “messy emotions” - pride, envy, rage, despair, regret, shame - emotions we’d rather tuck away and hide! Though to really bring our characters to life, and have readers FEEL something….we have to feel it too.

My friend and writing coach @ruackerman recently shared some writing prompts I’ve been playing around with for my protagonist, to get more into her psyche and access her own griefs and joys. Here’s a good one: “What is the lie you once believed?”

Grief and joy, and sharing the truth of our messy emotions, is about human to human connection. On and off the page!

Pillow art via @nathalie_lete

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Two memoirists just told us what actually makes a college essay unforgettable — and it’s not the biggest accomplishment or the most dramatic story. In @drlizstone ‘s newest Forbes piece, Ruthie Ackerman and Hannah Pittard share what years of personal storytelling have taught them about authenticity — and why AI still can’t replicate it.

Voice, specificity, and the courage to write toward a real question instead of a résumé highlight is what helps turn your story into a great college essay.

Check out Dr. Liz Doe Stone’s latest Forbes article to read the full feature 🔗

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Not every opportunity has to make business sense. Some just have to matter. ❤️

#TwentyMinutesBook

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Some people journal. Some people build a bibliography about their own childhood. If you’ve ever fact-checked a family story or read a scientific study to understand your own feelings — these books are for you. Which one is already on your shelf? And tell me what I missed. 👇

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