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Love, Before & After the Vows

@scarsinsatin

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For the trauma we carry & the love we crave
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When people ask what I’ve been up to, I never really know what to say.
How do you explain that you’ve been healing from one of the hardest seasons of your life, recovering from burnout, learing to live outside of survival mode, and completely changing the way you see yourself and your life?
I’ve been slowly finding my way back to hope, happiness, and the version of myselfI thought I had lost.
So when they ask...
I just say, “Not much.”

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I can finish a conversation and realize my jaw stayed clenched through the whole thing.

Sometimes I do not notice until it hurts. I want to practice checking in sooner, without forcing a stretch or expecting my body to relax on command.

Persistent jaw pain, tooth sensitivity, or suspected grinding deserves a conversation with a dentist.

Save this as a gentle reminder, and notice one ordinary moment when you tend to clench.

#RyannLindsey #HouseOfRyann #ScarsInSatin

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He wanted me to stop talking to him. Well he got it.

I’ll never understand how someone can hurt a person who trusted them and walk away without remorse. It takes a particular kind of courage to ask someone to build a life with you, to put a ring on their hand and promise them forever, then betray that trust just a few months later.

I believed the promises. I believed we were building something real. And I’m left trying to make sense of how the person who once asked me to stay could become the person who made leaving feel like the only choice.
Who acts like nothing ever happened. Because truly…. He is a coward and can’t face how lost he is.

So I’m quiet now. I don’t want to text him, call him or give him any of my time. Not because it didn’t matter, but because I finally heard what his actions were saying.

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Sometimes holding it together all day ends with a headache nobody saw coming.

Before I decide what it means, I want to check the ordinary things: food, water, screen time, and whether I have been sitting in the same position for hours.

Recurring headaches deserve advice. A sudden, extremely severe headache or neurological symptoms need emergency care.

Save this for an overloaded afternoon. What basic need is easiest for you to overlook?

#RyannLindsey #HouseOfRyann #ScarsInSatin

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Waiting for the call that may never come?

When a notification makes your heart race

Sometimes the hardest part of a message happens before you read a word.

The screen lights up and you are already bracing. For a familiar pattern that has been assessed, a quieter alert or a planned time to read messages may give you a little more choice.

Recurring palpitations deserve medical advice, and symptoms with chest pain, breathlessness, or fainting need urgent help.

Save this. What is one phone setting you could change today?

#RyannLindsey #HouseOfRyann #ScarsInSatin

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You know it was real for you when you still love them, even after they broke your heart.

Not because what they did was okay. Not because you should go back. And not because love means abandoning yourself.

Sometimes it simply means your heart was sincere. You gave what you had, and the ending didn’t erase what was true for you.

You can love someone and still choose distance. You can miss them and still protect your peace. Both can be true while you learn to carry the love without letting it lead you back to what hurt you.

All I know is it was real for me. And processing the idea of getting my dreams and then losing them all within 6 months.

Time will heal. But the love won’t disappear. Just will be a memory.

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Watching parts of me disappear with the men in my life who left, abandoned, cheated, abused, raped, stole, used and left me for dead.

I am working on learning how to not settle for breadcrumbs when I serve feasts.

Anyone else sick of being hurt?

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My past has layers many people have never seen. The depth of my wounds. The strength it takes to get up every day.
The fear to trust. The fear to hope. The fear to be hit. The fear to be abandoned. The fear to give my all and still discarded.
Life has been so beautiful for me. And I will eternally be grateful for the love I have experienced.
I remain the woman who operates with love and empathy. Even to those who do not value me.
In time I will talk more about the trauma I endured before I finally felt safe.
And the journey it took to get there and return to a safe place in this present transition.

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It’s selfish to enter someone’s life, see how much light they carry, and then disrupt their peace because you haven’t faced your own pain.

Someone’s kindness isn’t an invitation to take what you need and leave them holding the damage. Their joy isn’t yours to diminish while you avoid the work of healing.

You are responsible for what you do with your hurt. Please don’t make someone else pay for what you haven’t been willing to face.

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Please do not let the word heartbreak explain away chest pain.

You can be grieving and still need a medical assessment. New, unexplained discomfort deserves advice. Sudden or persistent chest pain, especially with breathlessness, sweating, faintness, or pain spreading to an arm or jaw, needs emergency help.

After urgent causes are assessed, you can ask for a clear follow-up plan.

Save this reminder and share it with someone who needs permission to take their physical symptoms seriously.

#RyannLindsey #HouseOfRyann #ScarsInSatin

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I keep trying to solve a chapter I’m still grieving.

Looking for the right words. Replaying conversations. Wondering if there’s something I haven’t tried that could make reality feel a little closer to what I wanted.

It’s hard to be present when part of your heart is still reaching for a different ending.

But I’m learning to meet myself here—with the sadness, the unanswered questions, and the life that still deserves my attention today. I can care deeply without carrying the responsibility for every outcome.

My prayer lately is simple: “God, show me what’s mine to do, and give me the courage to leave the rest with You.” 🤍

What are you asking God to help you release today?

#HouseOfRyann #ScarsInSatin

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A turning stomach can make an already difficult day feel much bigger.

I want to notice the discomfort without immediately turning it into a message about another person or a prediction about my future. What happened before it began? Have I eaten? Does it need medical attention?

Care can start with a small observation and a manageable next step.

Save this, and share one simple thing that makes an unsettled day easier.

#RyannLindsey #HouseOfRyann #ScarsInSatin

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