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ᚨᚢᛋᛏᛁᚾ (Austin)

@skolborne

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⚔️ | Refractory AE
🔒 | @arwe_nessa
Echoes of a fading mind. 🧠

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My love, I want you to know how incredibly proud I am of you. ❤️

Proud of you for fighting. Proud of you for getting up every day and continuing, even on the days when everything feels impossibly hard. I see how much you’re going through, and I see how hard you’re trying. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, because to me, you are so incredibly strong.

But more than anything, I’m proud of the man you are.

You are such an amazing father to Thoren. The love you have for him, the way you care for him, and the moments you share with him mean more than I could ever put into words. He is so lucky to have you as his dad. ❤️

And you are the husband I could have only dreamed of. You are my person, my home, and the love of my life. Through everything we have faced, I am still so grateful that I get to walk through this life beside you.

I know this fight has taken so much from you. I know there are days when you are tired beyond words. But please never forget that you are loved beyond words, too.

Thoren and I are so incredibly proud of you. We love you more than anything in this world.

Keep fighting, my love. One day at a time. One moment at a time. ❤️

#warrior #autoimmuneencephalitis #proudwife #mylove #chronicillness

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For Austin, with all my love. ❤️

I see your pain. I see you fighting every day. And even when you can’t see a way forward, I will keep believing in one for you.

Just hold on. One moment at a time. You are not alone. 🖤

#love #illness #autoimmuneencephalitis #ʏᴏᴜᴀɴᴅᴍᴇ #always

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After three better weeks, weeks where Austin was able to spend a few quiet minutes in the garden, look at my plants, breathe in some fresh air, and enjoy precious quality time with his family, especially his son, we’re facing another really difficult relapse.

He’s struggling badly again. Sensory overload, overwhelming fatigue, fear and paranoia, an extreme sensitivity to sounds and light, and days where even the simplest things feel almost impossible. Seeing him go from those little moments of freedom back to barely being able to function on his own is heartbreaking.

I do everything I can to help him, to make things quieter, safer, and easier for him, and to be there through the worst moments. But there is only so much I can do. I can’t take this from him, no matter how desperately I wish I could.

So right now, we’re taking it one day, one hour, sometimes one minute at a time. 🤍

And that little bit of normal life we got to have for those three weeks? I’m holding onto it. Because even the smallest moments of feeling like us again mean everything.

#autoimmuneencephalitis #chronicillness #mecfs #millionsmissing #caregiver

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Even the strongest warriors need a moment to kneel. Not because they have surrendered, but because they are gathering the strength to rise again. ⚔️🌿

#warriorsoul #innerstrength #resilience #staystrong #darkbeauty

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Heimdall, ever-watchful guardian,
stand at the threshold and keep watch over Austin.
Warn him and those who care for him when danger approaches, and help them recognize what his body and mind are trying to communicate.
Let nothing important be overlooked.

Vidar, silent one of endurance,
you who possess strength without needing to speak of it, lend Austin your endurance.
Give him the strength to survive the long days when progress seems distant.
Let his quiet resilience carry him through what feels impossible.

Vali, avenger and fulfiller of purpose,
bring determination where Austin has become exhausted.
Help him overcome the consequences of what has harmed him and move toward restoration.
Give him the will to continue when he has little left to give.

Njord, lord of the sea and favorable winds,
bring calm waters to Austin's troubled days.
When his mind and body feel like a storm, give him stillness.
Guide his journey toward gentler waters and favorable winds.

#prayer #norsegods #health #chronicillness #asatru

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Freyja, Lady of love, magic, and healing power,
bring your warmth and restorative strength to Austin.
Let his body remember how to heal, and let his spirit remember how to hope.
Protect the love between him and those who stand beside him.

Freyr, lord of fertility, abundance, peace, and flourishing life,
bring growth where Austin has been depleted.
Restore what illness has taken from him and return vitality to his body.
Let his days become more abundant in energy, peace, movement, and life.

Loki, master of transformation and the unexpected,
if there is a path to healing that has not yet been seen, reveal it.
Turn what seems impossible into possibility and help break patterns that keep Austin trapped in suffering.
May your cunning serve him rather than harm him.

Baldr, radiant one,
bearer of light, goodness, and purity,
bring light into Austin's darkest and most confused moments.
Let his mind become clearer and his world feel safe and bright again.
Remind him that there is still beauty waiting for him beyond this suffering.

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Peace doesn’t come from controlling the storm. It comes from learning to remain steady within it. ⚔️🌩️

#stoicism #innerpeace #norsewisdom #strengthwithin #warriormindset

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Odin, All-Father,
giver of wisdom and seeker of knowledge,
look upon Austin and grant him clarity where his mind is clouded,
knowledge to those who seek to heal him, and wisdom to understand what lies beneath his suffering.
Let no truth remain hidden from those who can help him.

Frigg, mother of the gods,
guardian of family and keeper of foresight,
watch over Austin and surround him with protection.
Give him peace within his home, and let the bonds of those who love him become a source of strength rather than burden.

Thor, mighty wielder of Mjölnir,
defender against forces of destruction,
lend Austin your strength when his own strength fails.
Strike down whatever harms him and protect his body and mind from forces that seek to overwhelm him.

Tyr, god of courage, justice, and honor,
stand beside Austin in his struggle.
Give him courage to endure what cannot be changed and strength to fight what can.
Guide those treating him toward the right decisions and let justice be done for his health.

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Not every battle is meant to be won quickly.

Some are measured in patience, discipline, and the refusal to surrender to what cannot be changed.

Endure what you cannot control. Master what you can.

#stoicism #endure #innerstrength #resilience #discipline

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Today is Severe ME/CFS Awareness Day.

Today, I want to speak about the person behind the illness — my husband, Austin.

Severe ME/CFS is not simply being tired.

It can turn a life that once felt ordinary into something incredibly small. Things most people do without thinking — talking, walking, looking at a screen, taking a shower, spending time with the people you love — can become enormous physical challenges.

But for Austin, there is another battle happening at the same time.

He also lives with autoimmune encephalitis, and the inflammation in his brain has taken a lot from him.

Sometimes, it affects his memory.
Sometimes, his ability to think and process.
Sometimes, his energy and ability to communicate.

And sometimes, painfully, I can see pieces of his personality becoming harder for him to reach.

That is one of the hardest things to explain to people.

Because when you are a caretaker, you don't only watch someone become physically limited.

You sometimes watch the person you know so well become harder to recognize.

You remember how he used to be. You remember his reactions, his thoughts, his humor, his energy, the little things that make him him. And then there are days when the inflammation takes some of those things away.

But I know he is still in there.

Austin is not his illnesses.

He is not the brain inflammation.
He is not the exhaustion.
He is not the symptoms that have stolen pieces of his life.

He is my husband.

And I will keep looking for him underneath all of this.

As his caretaker, I have learned that caregiving isn't always about fixing something. Sometimes there is nothing I can fix.

Sometimes it means protecting his energy.

Sometimes it means helping him through a day when his brain and body simply won't cooperate.

Sometimes it means explaining to others why he cannot do something.

Sometimes it means grieving the things we have lost while still being grateful for the moments we do have.

And sometimes it simply means staying.

I wish more people understood that severe ME/CFS is not laziness, weakness, or a lack of trying.

Continued in the comments...

#mecfs #awareness #chronicillness #severe #autoimmuneencephalitis

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Some storms test you. Others reveal who you truly are.

Stand firm like Yggdrasil. Bend, but never break.
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#norsepagan #vikinglifestyle #stoicism #naturelover❤️ #yggdrasil

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I know what it means to be feared for wounds no one can see.

Like Fenrir, I have been judged before my story was ever heard.
Chained by grief.
Bound by loss.
Marked by battles that never left scars on my skin.

They believed the chains would tame me.
They didn't understand...

A wolf does not forget who it is.

I carry the weight of my past, but I refuse to let it define my future. Every heartbreak became another link I learned to break. Every fall taught me to rise with sharper teeth and a steadier heart.

I am not the monster my pain tried to create.

I am the survivor who learned that even in darkness, strength is born.

And when the day comes that these chains finally break,
I will not run from who I am.

I will become it.

🐺🖤
#Fenrir #norsemythology #riseagain #strength #healing

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