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35 and a half today. 

35 started off very rocky and has undoubtedly been my hardest year yet. 

I’ve experienced a lot of loss this year. Loss of loved ones. Loss of friendship. Loss of a part of my identity in finding out that I was going to be a mother. Then several weeks later a loss of that pregnancy. 

I’ve had peaks and pits in my career and so many moments where I feel more torn than ever between my two homes. I’ve had tears into the pillow and long plane rides with my  thoughts. I’ve had doubt about whether I made the right choice and moments when I knew I hadn’t. 
 
I’ve had long car rides in silence and joy abruptly sucked out of rooms like a balloon popped by a pin. 

But in the midst of it all, I’ve also had hugs from toddlers. Group chats that make me tear up with laughter during the most mundane of  errands. Dinners lit up by candles and soundtracked by laughter.  35 year old sleepovers with friends I’ve had for 20 years. I’ve had meals dropped off in secret, and surprise returns from the hospital to restocked fridges. 

I’ve received card and gifts for no reason other than to make me feel loved.  Ive had dance parties and karaoke, costumes and weekends away. I’ve experienced the length and tenderness of a hug when you both know your world just got a little smaller.  Ive had sun on my face with warm coffee in my hands. I’ve seen my best of friends grow their families and careers. And I’ve marveled at the colors of the  sunset even on the hardest of days. I’ve made a conscious choice to punctuate my life with as much joy as possible, even when it feels frivolous. So here it is my highlights of  joy from the first six months of being 35. To me that’s all that counts.
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Just wanna say thank you to everyone who’s been over to @lifeisbmusic studios lately. I quit music and only started again when lockdown happened so to be able to smiling and making music with amazing artists everyday is really the dream and none of it would be possible without you guys and of course  the truly special Parker family. Life is beautiful family forever
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Thank you @benwaltonfilms for capturing the magic of our rainy wedding day in Grasse. Honestly I think I went through hundreds videographer’s profiles before finding you. No one is making films like you. I love your cinematic style and wonderful emotional cuts. This is a true piece of art and thank you for capturing the intense emotion of the day. We will cherish this always. I have already watched it probably 300 times. 

Venue: @chateausaintgeorges 
Florist: @floraisonparis 
Caterer: @jeromeravel_traiteur 
Planning: @nomadrepublic_intl 
Glam: @jm_honeyz 
Dress: @laurent_kapelski_paris 
DJ: @thomasdusseune 
Photo assistant: @camyduongphoto 
Photography: @celine_chhuon_photography 
Video: @benwaltonfilms
Rentals: @maison_options @madamedelamaison
Jewelry: @chopard @cynthiafindlay.jewels.antiques @baunatdiamondjewellery 
Tuxedo: @boggimilanoofficial 
Shoes: @dior via @lesmerveillesdebabellou
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