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Steph Writes

@stephwrites

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Queer, Polyamorous, Neurospicy, Exvangelical.
I enjoy learning about myself, other humans, and why we do what we do.
📍 NYC

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Here at Steph Asavale Photography, we believe in self-compassion! (😆 I am laughing at this, but also… I mean it!) And in trying again!

TDLR: Yesterday I teased an announcement that I was going to make today at 11am. It didn’t happen. But that’s ok! All this sales & marketing stuff is new to me. When you’re a beginner, you miss the mark sometimes. But it’s not failure unless you stop trying, my friends! 🥰

Watch the video to hear my announcement! I’ll be following with more posts & stories soon.

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Poorly explain what you do for a living. I'll go first:⁠
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"I twist my body into uncomfortable-looking positions, while holding heavy equipment and trying to capture the soul of a person."⁠
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Your turn! Tell me in the comments. 😄 ⁠
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Day8 #APhotoADay⁠

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A few months ago I decided to get out of my own way and start posting a photo a day. Because “how can anyone have an awareness of who I am, what I do, or the quality of my work if I never share it?”

Obviously I haven’t followed through… yet.

Since we’ve been back from Morocco, I’ve felt a little aimless, and frustrated with myself for having trouble getting “back into the swing of things.”

Yesterday, I started “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron. Today I did the reading for week one and completed my second day of morning pages at a local coffee shop. After I put down my pen, tears welled in my eyes.

I’m sharing a little of what I wrote, since it might resonate with some of you:

“I got so many mixed messages as a kid. Christians are supposed to suffer as Christ suffered. But also, no one can be more happy and fulfilled than Christians. We weren’t supposed to seek wealth, but if we were good then God would bless us with it.

I guess that’s another reason why I have resistance to marketing… because when you are marketing, the obvious and intentional underlying motive is to make money. So the ‘good Christian girl’ part of me is screaming the whole time that what I’m doing is wrong.

But this is not truth, Stephanie. These are lies.

God (Creator, Universe, life force we’re all a part of) sees me as good. And God wants me to create and share my work with the world. Because it matters. Because I matter.

Women deserve to have things of their own. Women deserve time, care and attention. Women deserve autonomy, freedom, careers.

I deserve the ability to be fully myself. To walk in that freedom and share it with the world, if that’s what I want to do.” Image of the outside of the Hassan II Mosque in Casablanca, Morocco, taken from underneath the tall arches facing the tall doors at its entrance.

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A few months ago I decided to get out of my own way and start posting a photo a day. Because “how can anyone have an awareness of who I am, what I do, or the quality of my work if I never share it?”

Obviously I haven’t followed through… yet.

Since we’ve been back from Morocco, I’ve felt a little aimless, and frustrated with myself for having trouble getting “back into the swing of things.”

Yesterday, I started “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron. Today I did the reading for week one and completed my second day of morning pages at a local coffee shop. After I put down my pen, tears welled in my eyes.

Here’s a little of what I wrote:

“I got so many mixed messages as a kid. As Christians, we weren’t supposed to seek wealth. But also, if we were good then God would bless us financially. I think that’s one of the reasons for my resistance to marketing… because the obvious intent and underlying motive is to make money. So the ‘good Christian girl’ part of me is screaming the whole time that what I’m doing is wrong.

But this is not truth, Stephanie. These are lies.

God (Creator, Universe, life force we’re all a part of) sees me as good. And God wants me to create and share my work with the world. Because it matters. Because I matter.

Women deserve to have things of their own. Women deserve time, care and attention. Women deserve autonomy, freedom, careers.

I deserve the ability to be fully myself. To walk in that freedom and share it with the world, if that’s what I want to do.” Image of the outside of the Hassan II Mosque in Casablanca, Morocco, taken from underneath the tall arches facing the tall doors at its entrance.

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Chappie boy completed his Day School Program.

This 10 year old boy has a story that makes me feel like we don’t deserve their unconditional love. He is such a sweet boy that was left tied to a fence, super skinny and scared. Luckily he was picked up by Animal Control and was adopted out to two of the most kind hearted people.

Chappie was put on medication for anxiety. Soon he started reacting to dogs and strangers approaching his owner. I am a strong believer in training first and understanding the dog, before medication. I feel like the medication was contributing to the behaviors he was displaying. His owners were very open minded throughout his program which allowed us to truly fulfill and understand this boy to better help their relationship.

As always the training doesn’t stop here this is where it starts.

@the.supremek9.team was paired with Chappie as his main handler and I as an assistant. Kevin did a great job with him. Our teamwork helped this boy become a much better version of himself, medication free!

P.S. Chappie is a great example of “old dogs learning new tricks.” It’s never too late my friends.

#dayschool #rescuedog #chappie #pitbull #mixbreed #dogtraining #supremek9 #supremek9training

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What does your donation do?

It provides an opportunity for the dog in the first photo to live a different life (swipe right to see his ‘after’ photos). Once found chained and emaciated in a Brooklyn park, he received a Franklin Angus Fund medical grant and was rescued by @reboundhounds before being adopted by his foster mama.

Now named Chappie, he will spend the rest of his life changing people’s minds about pit bulls, the good will rippling far beyond what any of us will get to see first hand. On this day, Chappie’s one year rescueversary, we thank all of Franklin’s Friends whose generosity makes this work possible.

#thefranklinangusfund #fafjaegar #beforeandafter #pitbullsofinstagram #pitbull #pitbullsofig #rescuedog #reboundhounds #rescue #adoptdontshop #adopt #foster #fosterdog

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When we lived in San Jose, my hair stylist loved playing w/ color. I left her chair a few times w/ a lavender tint, but it always washed out within a few washes.

Ajay thought it was fun & said “you should do pink hair!”

I’ve played with my hair color before but it’s always been with “natural” colors. Pink just felt too extreme. It wasn’t professional. It would draw too much attention. People wouldn’t take me as seriously. They’d think I was immature.

Lately I feel like I am stronger in who I am than I’ve ever been in my life. It just felt like the right time to finally do the pink hair thing.

But I didn’t expect it to feel so transformative. As the strands were drying & the true color was revealed, I felt a wave of emotion. My eyes got teary & I said to @melbcuttin, “I love it. I didn’t know I needed it.”

I couldn’t stop looking at it. I wiped away tears & said, “It's like I'm telling the world 'I'm not gonna be who you want me to be, I'm gonna be me." (As cheesy as that may sound.)

I thought, "This feels like grieving. I’m saying goodbye to the people pleaser version of me… leaving her behind & saying, ‘I’ve got this now.’”

There were other people around & I felt silly for crying. But I also recognized the importance of me sitting in & feeling this moment. Mel saw I was still crying. I said, “I’m trying to stop.”

“Don’t worry about it, girl. Let it out. It’s beautiful,” she said. 💗

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IT’S MY 2 YEAR THERAPY ANNIVERSARY! 🥳

Sharing a few observations, based on my experience:

When we start loving ourselves, we stop abandoning ourselves.

We begin speaking up for and sharing more of ourselves. We speak up for us like we would for a friend. We’re honest about our thoughts, feelings and boundaries, rather than stuffing them down inside and going along with the status quo.

When we’re loving ourselves, speaking up for ourselves, and sharing more of ourselves, another magical thing happens: we stop caring so much about what other people think, because we know who we are.

And then everything kind of comes full circle, nurturing the process, because when we’re prioritizing our own opinion of ourselves above everyone else’s, we’re loving ourselves.

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#NYCPhotographer #NYCPortraits #NYCPhotog #HobokenPhotographer #JerseyCityPhotographer #NYCPhotography #TherapyIsDope #TherapyAnniversary
#SomeThoughts #LearningAndGrowing #ThankfulAndGrateful
#NYCPhotog #ICanDoHardThings #YouveGotThis #StephAsavalePhoto #TheGramGang #CreativeBiz #BeKindToYourself #JustDoIt #TherapyWorks #LoveYourself💕 #ShareYourself #SpeakUpForYourself #KnowWhoYouAre #StopCaringWhatOthersThink #PrioritizeYourself #FullCircle #Observations_And_Reflections #TherapyThoughts

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Here's a little insight into my dynamic, for better or worse! 🤪 ⁠
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I have ADHD so I experience emotions more intensely than the norm.⁠
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I can provide recommendations for days, on whatever you’re curious about. The amount of topics I’m passionate about feels infinite. And I use the word “favorite” so often it becomes meaningless. 😬 ⁠
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And I really love people! ⁠
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I'm an enneagram 2. Most people who’ve known me prior to beginning therapy two years ago know the version that was subconsciously caving to perfectionism. I lived in fear of people not liking me or my decisions, & my growth really stalled as a result. (Especially in business, because I wasn’t even showing up!) ⁠
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I’ve always been a warm, friendly, & generous person. But that generosity was often rooted in a need to be liked... a need for validation. ⁠
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These days - thankfully - it comes from a really healthy place! 🥳 A place of feeling & showing love to myself, & believing in my inherent worth. I am grateful. 🥰 ⁠
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Anyways, if I come across a little over the top sometimes (very complimentary - even “flirty”) or I seem excited to a point that feels unnecessary, just know the passion is genuine. 💗 ⁠
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And “just let me love you & hype you up platonically as a human being, ok?!”⁠ 😂

Got any questions for me? What thoughts does this bring up for you? Tell me in the comments!

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#ThisIsMe #Enneagram2 #EnneagramTwo #ADHDAwareness #ADHDProblems #ADHDBrain #ADHDProbs #ADHDTribe #ADHDAdults #ADHDArtist #ADHDCommunity #ADHDStrong #ADHDSymptoms #ADHDEmotions #Enneagram2 #EnneagramTwo #Perfectionism #Perfectionist #PerfectionistProblems #PerfectionistProbs #Perfectionists #PerfectionistPro #PassionateSoul #PassionateLiving #PassionateHeart #HypeGirl #HypeGirls #OverTheTop #TooManyFavorites #LotsOfEmotions

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Love when @stephwrites.co let’s me do what ever I want 🤓

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Oh hi!⁠⠀
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It's about freakin time I did one of these "about me" intro posts since, let's be honest, a lot has changed! (Like me for example, from when this photo was taken! @amnaphyte snapped this of me back in February, PRE-COVID. These days my hair is not as blonde, & I'm not hopping on planes to California.) ⁠Swipe left for SOOC. DISCLAIMER: This photo HAS been retouched! ⁠⠀
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1. I never watched Friends until a few weeks ago. My husband & I started watching it from the beginning on #HBOMax, and we're already halfway through season 2! I definitely find myself cracking up laughing every episode, & I love watching it at the end of the night before bed. Is there anyone out there like me, who never watched it?⁠⠀
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2. My glass is 3/4 full, and contains chocolate milk. 🥛 Haha. My optimism always had a bit of naiveté behind it until recent years, but now it's grounded in reality & is more of a choice & mindset shift. I recognize & accept that sometimes life gets hard. But I choose to see the beauty, look for the lessons, & believe that things will get better. As long as we choose to acknowledge (instead of avoid) the pain & discomfort, lean in / process through, reach out to those who love us for support, & keep going. ⁠⠀
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Oh, & I have a major sweet tooth, & chocolate milk has been MY thing since childhood. My siblings never got into it. (I know, crazy right?!) ⁠⠀
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3. I was born in Chapel Hill, & grew up in Greensboro, NC. My immediate & most of my extended family are all still in NC. After college, I moved to Los Angeles & was there for 7 years (met my husband there). Then we spent 3 years in San Jose (Bay Area). Finally, we came to the NYC area at the end of February last year! I'm really loving it, & at this point we're living in the best place in the country as far as this pandemic stuff goes! Going out & about feels super safe, since everyone wears masks and seems to take this social distancing stuff seriously. (We went to IKEA last week!) I've even made some new friends through haircuts & outdoor coffee meetups lately! ⁠⠀
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I'm curious, have you always lived in one area or have you moved around a lot? Comment below, & let me know!

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Did you know that Muir Woods reopened recently? Only 50% capacity is possible and reservations must be made in advance. The shuttle is not running at present but they have adjusted operations to keep you safe so you can #travelconfidently when you #visitmarin⁣
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Pre pandemic photo of @stephasavale by the talented @eileenmroche ⁣
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#muirwoods #johnmuirwoods #muirwoodsnationalmonument

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