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My friend Esther has sent me mail for years. And since learning of my breast cancer diagnosis, (which I’ve named Camille) she’s written even more.Ā Every piece has been a delight to receive, and it always seems to come at just the right time.Ā 

There have been many days in this season where I haven’t had energy or bandwidth to do much of anything, aside from work and wellness. It’s hard for me, as I love to create,Ā connect, and have plans, but slow has been the speed I’ve needed to adjust to.Ā So snail mail has been an especially meaningful treat in this season, as it’s made me feel connected to those I love.Ā 

Esther is the most whimsical person I know. As soon as she heard about my diagnosis she said she wanted to dedicate this month’s ā€œUncommon Dispatchā€ to me, which is a themed monthly mailer she sends out. Her mailer is an invitation to stop and notice the small and beautiful details of everyday life.Ā 

The theme for this month’s dispatch is ā€œNight Circus,ā€ and when she asked for images to accompany her mailer, I immediately thought of little Rainier who is a natural performer, Fig the bunny, a top hat, and a big giraffe. :) It was refreshing to have a reason to put something creative like this together in this season that hasn’t had much room for creating.

Esther also offered to put together a GoFundMe to help me through this time. She has approached Camille and the GoFundMe in the way she approaches everything else -Ā  with wit and whimsy. She has linked to the GoFundMe in her bio, (@uncommondispatch) and I’m so grateful for her support in this way.

I’ve started calling life ā€œsoul school,ā€ as there are times when life just doesn’t turn out the way we expect, and we’re handed cards we didn’t choose. When that happens, we can only control how we respond to things, and that’s how we grow.Ā 

In my current ā€œsemesterā€ of ā€œsoul school,ā€ I feel like there are two things I’m being asked to learn - sharing when things are hard as they happen, and asking for help as I need it. It all feels a little awkward, as most growing pains are. I’m grateful for the chance to learn them.Ā 

Thank you for being here…for the photographs, the stories, and this part of life, too.

Fi
21
I’ve always loved cutting branches and flowers from the yard. My first stitches were to sew up a wound that was a result of using my mom’s kitchen scissors to try and break open a big nut from a tropical tree in our yard when we lived in Hawaii. 

Ever since, I’ve been clipping bits of nature and finding ways to bring it indoors, no matter where I’ve lived… in urban settings like Seattle and London, and in more rural ones like Costa Rica and Vashon Island, I’ve had fun foraging and finding things to clip. Even when we used to go on long road trips I’d clip things for our camper. 

All of this to say, I just love flowers, and finding ways to bring the outdoors in. I recently read about a research study that proved how fresh cut flowers can improve mental health and overall mood… which I’ve experienced! So if you need a mood boost, pop outside for a clipping of even a beautiful weed, pop it in a little water glass, and put it by your sink. I promise it will make washing dishes a more delightful experience! ✨

Recently, my friend Sarah’s business @thestemmery has been delivering me a bouquet every week, and I get giddy about Thursdays because it’s flower day. We recently did a session in Sarah’s bountiful garden, and it was a perfect mid summer night’s dream.

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šŸ“ø BTS: @abigailrjohnson
22
When I was little, I fell on the playground at school and dislocated my elbow. No adult witnessed it, and I didn’t tell them. I hid it for a couple of days before my parents realized what had happened and pulled the story out of me.Ā 

For reasons I still don’t fully understand but continue to explore in therapy and journals… when things are hard, I sometimes hide it until it either becomes unbearable, someone finds out, or both.Ā 

I’ve been through some hard seasons, with some hard things, and find myself in another one with another hard thing — I have breast cancer. I’m calling it/her ā€˜Camille,’ and I started chemo last week.

I have held it all close to my chest (pun intended ;)) for a while now and felt tempted to not share with my broader community, but I’m experimenting with being less private, more honest, and more up front with myself and others about hard things as they happen.

This season has been an interesting one. Full of pricks and tests and decisions and questions and fears and hopes and bills and paperwork and calls (with hours and hours of phone hold music) and learning new things.Ā 

I have experienced love and support from friends and family in a way that has brought tears to my eyes and enlarged my heart. I’ve found a talented team at Fred Hutch who I trust with my body and care.Ā 

I feel like I have a whole ā€˜Camille Care Crew’ behind me, around me, with me, as I step into this unknown territory.

And I’m oh so grateful.Ā 

The energy I’m bringing to this is full of belief for complete healing. I’m holding a vision of me and my little nephew Calvin playing on the beach in a couple of years, healthy and happy, as I trust this will be a ā€˜blip’ in my story as my sweet boss Suzie said.

At times the ā€˜blip’ feels like it’s taking over every waking moment of my life, because it often is. But I’m trying to remember that this too, will pass.

I consider it a privilege to be alive… to experience and learn new things, even when they’re hard. And I know who I’ve been, and how I’ve met hard things before — with grit, grace, and courage, and I plan to do the same thing here.Ā 

I thought I’d share some scenes from the season. There’s been so much beauty. šŸ¤
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