Instagram story viewer> @toniabales> Tagged

Tonia Sells Bales

@toniabales

837

followers

666

following

CRNA | AUTHOR | ADVOCATE

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

A weekend celebrating the Bakers 🤍🍾💌🥂

425

53

I'm your host Jules, and I strive to do true crime with a purpose. I'm a recent credentialed victim advocate and I'm working hard to become a podcaster who educates and informs others.

This week's episode comes with a very important purpose- informing our listeners about the dangers and signs of coercive control.

I'm joined by Tonia Bales, the first wife of the infamous "Dirty John" who strives to encourage others to watch for signs of coercive control.

New episodes each Wednesday on YouTube and wherever you get podcasts.

Your Host Jules True Crime

27

0

Tonia Bales is a survivor of coercive control and is on a mission to teach others how to recognize coercive control. Tonia Bales' abuser was the subject of the hit true crime podcast "Dirty John" and the path of destruction he left.

Telling her story in her new book, "When You See It," written with Amy Jauman, Tonia gives readers an intimate and inside look into how she believes she was the "perfect victim" and how she was able to bravely get out from under John Meehan's coercive abuse.

Don't miss her interview on the debut season of Your Host Jules True Crime- available everywhere on August 5th.

Thank you, Tonia, for being an advocate for so many.
If you or someone you know is a victim of coercive control, please call your local law enforcement immediately. You deserve a safe love.

Love doesn't harm you.

34

2

🎙️ CLIP 7 IS LIVE! 🎙️
Why do I believe the covert narcissist can be even more dangerous than the overt narcissist?
Because they don’t just steal your heart.
They steal your time.
In Clip 7, Dave and I continue unpacking my interview with @toniabales ,the first wife of “Dirty John” John Meehan, on my podcast #NarcissisticAbusewithVanessaReiser.
We discuss one of the most devastating aspects of covert narcissistic abuse: living with someone who presents themselves as loving, caring, and devoted, while behind the scenes they are manipulating, deceiving, and exploiting you.
The overt narcissist often reveals themselves through obvious grandiosity or aggression.
The covert narcissist is frequently much harder to detect.
They can spend years, or even decades, maintaining a carefully crafted persona, leaving you questioning yourself instead of questioning them.
Then one day, you discover the relationship you believed you had never truly existed.
That realization isn’t just heartbreaking.
It’s grief for the years you invested in someone who was never emotionally available in the way you believed.
That’s why education matters.
The sooner you recognize the patterns, the sooner you can stop investing your life in someone who is incapable of giving you the healthy, reciprocal relationship you deserve.
🎧 Watch Clip 7 now from Dave and my discussion of the Tonia Bales episode of Narcissistic Abuse with Vanessa Reiser and listen to the full episode here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Jb0Bl353iXqF4LrXYHb3m?si=Mf6k2as-QUuVJAWQBfZ8NQ
💜 Healing is a radical rebellion, and your peace is the revolution.
#NarcissisticAbuse #CovertNarcissist #DirtyJohn # ToniaBales

7

0

🚨 NEW PODCAST EPISODE IS LIVE! 🚨
After my powerful interview with @toniabales the ex-wife of Dirty John John Meehan, Dave and I sat down to unpack one of the biggest warning signs we discussed; cruelty to animals.
If someone can intentionally harm an innocent animal, they are showing you something profound about their capacity for empathy, remorse, and compassion.
In this episode, we explore why harming animals is one of the reddest flags on earth and how it often reflects a much deeper pattern of entitlement, domination, and disregard for the suffering of others. These behaviors should never be minimized, explained away, or dismissed as “just a bad day.”
Together, we discuss how these traits often exist alongside other dangerous behaviors and why recognizing these patterns early can literally change, and even save lives.
🎙️ If you’ve ever wondered what behaviors you should never ignore, this conversation is for you.
🎧 Watch and listen now! Link in bio!
👇 Have you ever noticed how someone treats animals before you recognized other abusive behaviors? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
#NarcissisticAbuse #Psychopathy #DomesticViolenceAwareness #TraumaRecovery #CoerciveControl

8

0

🎙️ NEW PODCAST CLIP DROP!
One of the most chilling things @toniabales shared with me wasn’t just John Meehan’s deception; it was his vindictiveness and ability to scam.
In this powerful episode of Narcissistic Abuse with Vanessa Reiser, Tonia Bales, the ex-wife of “Dirty John” John Meehan, describes how his anger wasn’t fleeting.
It was obsessive.
If someone offended him; even in the smallest way, couldn’t let it go and was always thinking with an agenda to grift.
He would become relentlessly fixated on getting even, but would also be looking to get over on people. The slightest perceived rejection, criticism, or insult became a profound narcissistic injury to his fragile ego.
This is one of the hallmarks of pathological narcissism: what seems insignificant to everyone else can feel catastrophic to someone whose self-worth depends on maintaining an inflated self-image. Instead of processing those feelings in a healthy way, they often externalize the blame, seek revenge, and remain consumed by resentment.
In this episode, Tonia gives us a rare firsthand look at what it’s was like to live with someone who could never tolerate being slighted and whose need for retaliation overshadowed everything else, but that he was also very “scammy”.
🎧 If you’ve ever wondered why narcissists seem unable to “just let things go,” this conversation will help you understand the psychology behind that behavior.
Listen now to Narcissistic Abuse with Vanessa Reiser, wherever you get your podcasts. Link in bio.
💜 Understanding narcissism isn’t just fascinating; it’s protective.
#NarcissisticAbuse #DirtyJohn #JohnMeehan #ToniaBales #VanessaReiser

12

3

🎙️ NEW PODCAST CLIP IS LIVE
Not every survivor gets the chance to live free from the person who terrorized them.
In this powerful episode of Narcissistic Abuse with Vanessa Reiser, I sit down with @toniabales the ex-wife of John Meehan (“Dirty John”), as she shares the unimaginable reality of living under constant fear.
Tonia talks about how John threatened to have her killed, the fear those threats created for her and why she recognizes that many survivors are not as fortunate as she is today; that the person who terrorized her is no longer able to continue doing so.
Her story is a sobering reminder that coercive control and narcissistic abuse can escalate into life-threatening situations. It also reminds us why survivors deserve to be believed, supported, and protected before it’s too late.
🎧 Watch this clip and don’t miss the full episode of Narcissistic Abuse with Vanessa Reiser to hear Tonia’s courageous story of survival, resilience, and hope. Link in bio!
💜 If this message resonates with you, please share it. Raising awareness about coercive control and narcissistic abuse can help save lives.
#NarcissisticAbuse #CoerciveControl #DirtyJohn #JohnMeehan

8

0

The hardest part about understanding narcissists? Their brains don’t work the way yours does.
That’s why they’re so difficult to detect.
Most people assume everyone has empathy, guilt, accountability, and the capacity for genuine love. Narcissists often present as charming, charismatic, attentive, and deeply invested in you; until the mask slips.
Many survivors blame themselves because they believe they “should have seen it.” The truth is, these relationships are built on manipulation, not mutuality. Narcissistic individuals can be highly skilled at creating a false sense of connection while pursuing control, validation, or personal gain.
That’s exactly why I made this the very first line of my book:
“The first thing you need to know about a narcissist is that their brain works differently than yours.”
Once you understand that fundamental truth, so many confusing behaviors begin to make sense. You stop trying to apply healthy thinking to unhealthy behavior, and you start seeing the patterns for what they are.
And that’s exactly what we discuss in my newest podcast episode with @toniabales Bales, the ex-wife of “Dirty John” John Meehan. Tonia shares her firsthand experience of being manipulated by someone who appeared loving and trustworthy, and we unpack why narcissistic abuse is so difficult to recognize until you’re already caught in it.
Understanding how a narcissist thinks isn’t about becoming fearful of everyone; it’s about becoming informed, empowered, and better equipped to protect yourself.
🎙️ Listen to my latest episode with Tonia Bales, available now wherever you get your podcasts. Link in bio.
💜 If you’ve ever wondered, “How did I not see it?” remember this: you weren’t operating from the same psychological playbook.
#NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #DirtyJohn #ToniaBales #TraumaRecovery

6

0

🚨 NEW PODCAST WITH TONIA BALES IS LIVE! 🚨

Here’s a teaser…

In this powerful clip, @toniabales ,the ex-wife of John Meehan (“Dirty John”), shares the reality: she wasn’t out searching for someone like him. She was simply living her life when he targeted her.
Tonia explains how John love-bombed her from the very beginning; showering her with attention, affection, and promises that made him seem like the perfect partner. It’s a chilling reminder that manipulators don’t wear warning labels. They often appear charming, attentive, and exactly what you’ve been hoping to find.
If you’ve ever wondered how intelligent, capable people become entangled with narcissists and predators, this conversation is one you won’t want to miss.
🎧 Watch Clip #2 now, and be sure to listen to the full episode of Narcissistic Abuse with Vanessa Reiser for Tonia’s incredible story of survival and insight. Link in bio.
💜 Share this with someone who needs to hear that narcissistic abuse isn’t about weakness; it’s about manipulation.
#DirtyJohn #JohnMeehan #ToniaBales

9

0

🎙️ NEW PODCAST DROP!
What if the best protection against a narcissist isn’t spotting them... but becoming someone they can’t easily control?
In this powerful new episode of Narcissistic Abuse with Vanessa Reiser, I sit down with @toniabales the ex-wife of “Dirty John” John Meehan, to talk about one of the most important lessons survivors can learn.
💬 Tonia shares how having a career, financial independence, and a strong sense of self gave her the foundation to rebuild after surviving one of the most notorious con artists in America.I tell people:
“People ask me all the time, ‘How do I avoid these kinds of people?’ The truth is... you can’t. They’re everywhere. But when you build a strong career, strong friendships, financial independence, and autonomy, they often move on because they can’t control you.”
We discuss:
✨ Why narcissists target dependency
✨ How financial independence is a form of protection
✨ The danger of isolation
✨ Why keeping your career, friendships, and identity matters
✨ How to rebuild after psychological abuse
If you’ve ever wondered how to protect yourself from manipulative people, this conversation is one you don’t want to miss.
🎧 New episode is out now on Apple 🍏 podcast. Link in bio.
#NarcissisticAbuse #DirtyJohn #JohnMeehan #ToniaBales #VanessaReiser

34

2

Would you be able to spot a psychopath? They are charming and chameleon-esque and put a mark on their target way before you even see them coming. Dirty John Meehan was a psychopath. He deceived so many with his diabolical behaviour and pathological lies including his first wife Tonia Bales. Leave how they blend in and how to avoid being sucked into their malevolent vortex 🚩

📺 WATCH Outsmarting a Psychopath: Dirty John’s First Wife Speaks Out | Expert Analysis on Crime Analyst YouTube. Link in BIO ⬆️

#CrimeAnalyst #DirtyJohn #Psychopath #ToniaBales #CoerciveControl

322

12

GOOD NEWS - Go Ohio! 🔥 Ohio are moving ahead with a register for repeat domestic abusers 👏🏼

Reps. Phil Plummer (R-Dayton) and Cecil Thomas (D-Cincinnati) introduced House Bill 846 on May 6. The legislation would require the Ohio Bureau of Criminal Investigation (BCI) to maintain a repeat domestic violence offender registry.

Under the bill, individuals who are convicted of, or plead guilty or no contest to, a violation of the state’s domestic violence law for at least the second time would have to register for the public database.

Since Savanna’s Law in Tennessee passed, lawmakers in at least 11 states have introduced legislation to create domestic violence registries.

For many years I’ve campaigned for this alongside victims and families for a national register for domestic abusers and stalkers - convicted and unconvicted. I first made the recommendation in 2001 based on profiling domestic abusers when I was at New Scotland Yard 📸 3 We have had partial success but it’s not enough 💣
✅ SIGN petition in linktree ⬆️

Domestic abusers are intimate partner terrorists who destroy lives and their histories must be joined up and future victims warned. For too long there has been no consequence for these bullies. It’s time to change that ☠️

#Ohio #SavannasLaw #SerialPerpetrators #DomesticAbusers #FemicidePrevention

652

10