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I'm the mutha-fuckin Capitol building. I'm like the fucking Grayskull of DC.
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it’s been one month without you.

and I still don’t understand how that sentence is real.

there are moments I feel like I’m stepping outside of my own life, watching it happen instead of actually living it. like none of this quite makes sense, like my brain is still trying to catch up to something my heart already knows.

this past month… I haven’t really known what to do.

so we got up and we moved. 
we packed bags. 
we went places. 
we drove, flew, walked through towns and beaches and cities that felt far away from the life we were just living.

and we brought you with us.

pieces of you… everywhere we go.

not because I’m trying to let you go 
but because I don’t know how to keep you in one place.

you were never meant to be just one place.

you were in everything. 
our home, our routines, our conversations, our plans, our future.

so now… I carry you into new places. 
into quiet moments. into loud ones. into sunsets and random stops and places we always said we’d go.

and I leave a piece of you there too.

it’s the only thing that feels right right now. 
like your love deserves to be everywhere, not just where it ended.

some days I feel strong enough to keep moving. 
some days I feel like I’m just going through the motions. 
and some days… I don’t know how I’m doing it at all.

but I do know this—

loving you didn’t end. 
it just changed form.

and if traveling, moving, spreading pieces of you across this world is how I survive this right now… 
then that’s what I’m going to do.

because you deserved a life that kept going. 
and I’m going to do my best to make sure it does… even if it looks nothing like we planned.

one month without you 
and I miss you in ways I don’t even know how to explain yet
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