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Wendy Chima

@wendy_chima

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WALKING AMONG HEROES AT UNN

The hostel selection at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka was a confusing and restless experience. I spent entire days from morning to night, sitting in a cybercafé in Abagana, staring at a flickering screen, trying to secure a room. At the time, I did not know that these selections, these names, carried history and meaning. I did not understand the weight of what I was choosing.

My first stay in UNN was in Akintola Hostel, Room 101. Soon, I realized I had made a mistake. I wanted to live in a place where my "spirit" and “chi” could align with my heroes, ancestors, people who had shaped the world I admired.

At first, I had planned to stroll across campus to visit three places: the house where Chinua Achebe had lived, the house where Chimamanda Adichie and her parents had lived, and the office where Achebe had worked before he died. I wanted to touch my dreams, my thoughts, and my wishes as a new student and as an emerging writer.
There is a saying in Igbo land: “Igbo muru nze, muo Ozo.” I wanted to be near their lives and follow the energy they left behind in Igbo land, far and beyond. In my heart, I whispered: “Igbo muru m.” To me, those two writers were like a second birth, apart from my biological one.

But soon, my attention shifted. I started visiting hostels instead. First, I came across Aja Nwachukwu Hostel, named after Nigeria’s first Foreign Affairs Minister, who represented the country internationally. Then I found Okpara Hostel, named after a Premier of Eastern Nigeria, who promoted agriculture, industrialization, and social development.
I also came across Okeke Hostel, named after Uche Okeke, one of the pioneers of modern Nigerian art and a strong voice in the Nsukka School of Art. His work revived Igbo uli designs and gave them global recognition.
Suddenly, these names were alive. They were no longer just letters, they were legacies.

The next morning, I began reading about the people these hostels were named after. I learned their stories, their struggles, their victories. ( Pls read the rest from Facebook) https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1B3ycsXog8/
#AfricanLiterature #MemoirWriting #BookLovers #ReadersOfInstagram

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My niece, who was born and raised in Lagos, had never visited us. She has never been to Abagana, her hometown, nor to any part of the South East. It was her admission into Nnamdi Azikiwe University in Awka, Anambra State, that finally brought her home.
Agafenachukwu, my niece is my late father’s brother’s third daughter and child. She didn't meet her father, my uncle because he died few months before she was born. I was three years older than her. I only came to understand this fully when I grew older.

Last year, she decided to spend her vacation with us. She stayed for a month.
Her arrival on the first filled the compound with excitement. The house felt fuller, brighter, and grew into a kind of joyful chaos.
From the very first morning of her arrival, it was clear that home, for her, was not a foreign land.
In the morning, she ate akidi after we pleaded with her, though only after she finished her cornflakes with milk. The greatest challenge was not the early crowing of roosters before dawn, nor her hesitation about eating akidi, nor even the absence of electricity the night she arrived. We used rechargeable lanterns because there had been a power outage for four days. The transformer had developed a fault.

The real challenge was my mother’s language in naming things and in communicating with her. Almost every minute, Mama kept speaking Igbo to her, sometimes code switching, sometimes not. It landed on my niece like a test she had not prepared for.
Mama spoke to her as though she had lived with us all her life.

“Go to the usekwu,” Mama would tell her, meaning go to the kitchen and take your food.

One evening when Mama returned quickly from the market and met Agafenachukwu dancing in the compound because she did not want to enter the house. She requested for something

“Agafe, there's a sack on the floor of the dining room. I had forgotten it. Weta akpa ahụ,” Mama said.

Even when she came from the market, looking exhausted, Mama told her, “Choo iko, kunye m mmiri.” At that moment, her phone rang inside her pocket, Mama fumbled and cried out, “Kedu ekwenti m?”

Each word settled on my niece like something heavy. ( You can read to the end on Facebook)

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Available. 130k

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Achalugo, we have this. 75k

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Myths And Facts On Embracing Differences In Relationships:

Embracing differences in relationships is crucial for growth and harmony, but several myths often surround this concept. Here is a breakdown of some common myths and facts.

Myth: Differences will always cause conflict.

Fact: Differences can lead to disagreements, but they also provide opportunities for growth and learning. Healthy relationships use differences as a way to understand each other better and strengthen their bond.

Myth: You must be exactly alike to have a successful relationship.

Fact: Shared values and goals are more important than similarities. Differences can bring new perspectives and enrich the relationship.

Myth: Compromising means giving up your true self.

Fact: Compromise involves finding a middle ground where both partners feel respected and heard. It does not mean sacrificing your core values or identity.

Myth: Perfect relationships are the goal.

Fact: Perfection is unrealistic. Embracing imperfections and differences allows relationships to evolve and improve over time.

Myth: If you are truly in love, differences do not matter.

Fact: Love does not eliminate differences, but it does provide a foundation for managing and appreciating them. Acknowledging and working through differences is part of a loving relationship.

In summary, embracing differences in relationships is about finding balance and growth through diverse perspectives and imperfections. It is not about erasing differences but about celebrating them and using them to build a stronger and more understanding connection.

For private coaching/counselling or to book a session with the Ahava Coach, send us a DM @theahavacoachbylusheby
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#EmbracingDifferencesInARelationship #Love #RelationshipGoals #MarraigeCoach #MarraigeCouncellor #RelationshipCoach #TheAhavaCoach #HappinessIsKey❤️ #TheAhavaCoachByLushEby

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From "I Can't" to "I Can": Tips To Reframe Limiting Thoughts.

1. Identify Limiting Thoughts:
The first step to change is recognizing limiting thoughts. These often include words like "can't," "never," words always in a negative context. Write them down to gain clarity.

2. Challenge The Validity Of Those Thoughts: Question the truth of your limiting thoughts. Ask yourself if there is any solid evidence that supports them. Often, these thoughts are based on fear or past experiences rather than facts. List instances where you have succeeded or where the limiting thought did not hold true.

3. Reframe Your Thoughts:
Replace negative language with positive affirmations. For example, change “I can’t do this” to “I am capable of learning how to do this.” Instead of seeing a challenge as a threat, see it as an opportunity to grow.

4 Write Down Affirmations:
Write down affirmations that reinforce positive thoughts and repeat them to yourself daily. For example, "I am capable," "I am worthy", "I can do whatever I put my mind to" etc...

5. Take Actionable Steps:
Start with small, achievable actions toward your goals. Regularly reflect on your progress and be willing to adjust your strategies as needed.

6. Practice Self-Compassion:
Treat yourself like someone you love. Practice self-compassion and kindness. Accept that making mistakes is part of the learning process.

7. The Power Of Visualization: Visualize your success. Picture yourself overcoming obstacles and achieving your goals. Visualizing success can help build confidence and motivate you to take action.

Changing your mindset takes time and consistency. Be patient with yourself and keep working towards a more positive and empowering perspective.

To book a session with the Ahava Coach @lush_eby send us a DM @theahavacoachbylusheby
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#OvercomingLimitingBeliefs
#BreakThroughBarriers #MindsetShift #LimitlessPotential
#SelfEmpowerment #Love #CoachingWithLushEby #LifeCoach #PersonalCoach #Councellor #AhavaInnerCircle #TheAhavaCoachByLushEby #HappinessIsKey❤️

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Emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.

The importance of emotional intelligence for professional growth:

Enhanced Leadership Skills: Effective leaders possess high emotional intelligence, enabling them to inspire, motivate, and connect with their teams. They handle stress, provide constructive feedback, and manage conflicts efficiently, fostering a positive work environment.

Facilitates Better Communication: Emotional intelligence improves communication by helping individuals express themselves clearly and understand others' perspectives. This leads to more effective teamwork, smoother interactions, and reduced misunderstandings.

Enhanced Problem-Solving and Decision-Making: Emotional intelligence helps in managing emotions, leading to clearer thinking and more rational decision-making. It enables professionals to remain calm under pressure and approach problems with a balanced mindset.

Expedite Adaptability and Resilience: Highly emotionally intelligent individuals are better at adapting to change and bouncing back from setbacks. This resilience is critical in today's fast-paced and ever-evolving work environments, ensuring sustained performance and growth.

Career Advancement: Employers value emotional intelligence as much as technical skills. Professionals with high emotional intelligence are often considered for promotions and leadership roles because of their ability to manage teams, navigate office politics, and contribute to a positive organizational culture.

Emotional intelligence is one of the key drivers of professional success, enhancing various aspects of workplace performance and personal development. It is integral to building strong interpersonal relationships, effective leadership, and overall career advancement.

What are your thoughts on this? Comment below 👇🏽

To book a session with the Ahava Coach @lush_eby send us a DM @theahavacoachbylusheby
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#EmotionalIntelligence #ProfessionalGrowth #Growth #Transformation #LifeCoach #PersonalCoach #Councellor #AhavaInnerCircle #TheAhavaCoachByLushEby #HappinessIsKey

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All your goals can be achieved when you have the courage to work on them.

Welcome to a new week of possibilities and growth ❤️

@theahavacoachbylusheby
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#MondayMotivation
#MotivationForTheweek #SetTone #Believe #TheAhavaInnerCircle #TheAhavaCoachByLushEby #TheAhavaWomenCoach #TheAhavaLife #TheAhavaLife #RelationshipCoach #MarriageCoach #PersonalGrowth #PersonalDevelopment #CoachLushEby #HappinessIsKey #LoveIsTheGreatest

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When you are doubting yourself and you feel like you are not up to the task, here are some positive self-talk to help you regain your confidence ❤️

• I am more than my doubts; I am my dreams and actions.

• It is okay to make mistakes; they help me grow.

• I have overcome challenges before; I can do it again.

• I believe in myself and my abilities.

• I am worthy of success and happiness.

Always remember, you have the power to create and to become! ❤️
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#OvercomingSelfdoubt #Selfdoubt #StepIntoYourGreatness #WellnessWednesday #Coach #LifeCoaching #LifePartner #ConfidenceCoach #Counselling #PersonalGrowth #PersonalDevelopment #MarriageCoach #OvercomingObstacles #Suppor #Love #CoachingWithLushEby #AhavaCoachByLushEby #HappinessIsKey

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Self-doubt is the anchor that keeps our ships from sailing.

Affirm this ❤️

I am confident in my abilities and choices.

I believe in my potential to achieve greatness.

I deserve to take up space and be heard.

I am in control of my thoughts and emotions.

I let go of negative thoughts and focus on positivity.

Like, share and affirm!

@theahavacoachbylusheby
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#OvercomingSelfDoubt #StepingIntoYourGreatness #SelfDoubt #Affirmations #TheAhavaInnerCircle #TheAhavaLife #MarraigeCoach #LifeCoach #OvercomingObstacles #Support #Love #CoachingWithLushEby #AhavaCoachByLushEby #HappinessIsKey❤️

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In love, the key to conflict resolution is not to win arguments, but to win each other's hearts ❤️

love, patience, and empathy are essential in resolving conflict in a relationship.

@theahavacoachbylusheby
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#ConflictResolutionInRelationship #ConflictResolutionInMarriage
#Love #Marriage #Relationship #Peace #Happiness #Patience #Empathy #Communication #Commitment #RelationshipCoach #RelationshipGoals #MondayMotivation #AriseToGreatness2023 #TheAhavaInnerCircle #TheAhavaCoachByLushEby #TheAhavaWomenCoach #TheAhavaLife #TheAhavaLife #RelationshipCoach #MarriageCoach #PersonalGrowth #PersonalDevelopment #CoachLushEby #HappinessIsKey #LoveIsTheGreatest

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As women, we are taught to be caretakers and to put others' needs before our own. While this can be a positive trait, it can also lead to us feeling overwhelmed and taken advantage of. Setting boundaries is a crucial part of self-care and can help us to feel more in control of our lives.

Here are 5 tips on how to set boundaries as women.

1. Know your limits:

It's important to know your limits and what you're comfortable with. This will help you to set clear boundaries with others.

2. Be assertive:

When it comes to setting boundaries, you have to be assertive. This means communicating your needs clearly and confidently.

3. Be direct:

It can be helpful to be direct when setting boundaries. This means being clear about what you do and don't want.

4. Be consistent:

Consistency is key when it comes to setting boundaries. Once you've established a boundary, it's important to stick to it.

For private coaching or counseling, send us a dm @theahavacoachbylusheby

~ Coach Lush Eby ~
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#wellnesswednesday #boundaries #wellness #coach #relationshipcoach #relationshipgoals #relationship #lifecoaching #relationshiptips #lifepartner #confidencecoach #counseling #counselor #marriagetips #datingtips #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #marriagecoach #overcomingobstacles #support #communication #love #coachingwithlusheby #ahavacoachbylusheby #happinessiskey❤️

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