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Professional West Coast Swing dancers 💃🕺
@zathomaierdance @larisatingle
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Story time: So my professional/life/romantic partner/Larisa Tingle and I had a what I would consider an unpleasant experience. We are both circuit and local pros, and we heard through a friend that someone was boycotting our classes. Now to be clear, that is totally fine - you don’t have to go to anyone’s classes. Learn from whoever you want! But the reasoning has me baffled.

We showed up to a local dance, we danced multiple songs with each other, then we danced with others for a few songs, came back to each other and danced a couple songs, repeated the process several times before we left. Later we were told that this behavior as a pro couple was unacceptable, and that they were going to boycott our classes in protest of our behavior. I will also add that we were not there to teach the class, we were not paid to be there to social dance or dj, and we are not involved in the dance organization in any way. We decided to come out to the local dance as normal attendees.

Now, I will admit. I do love dancing with my partner. She is my favorite person to dance with and I love every second. And I can be selfish in “hogging her”. However I also thought that as her romantic and professional partner, I have the right to feel that and to act on these feelings. And I can understand that some people would feel disappoint at not getting a chance to dance with a higher level dancer. I have felt the same thing many times.

But what is different for me seems to be the expectation. When I was a newer dancer, we understood that everyone, as well as pros, will generally dance more with their friends and partners and we would encourage but not enforce people to dance with everyone. But at no point did I ever feel that I was owed a dance by a pro or that the pro was obligated to dance with everybody.

I am really curious if the culture has switched this much. Is this now the norm? Is there an  expectation that when a pro couple comes to a social dance that they should only dance with other people?

From my perspective, these statements and actions feel like I am only allowed to show up in the community as an object of service.

What are the community’s thoughts on this?
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We rarely stop to notice the care, the patience, the love, and the dedication that quietly hold the greatest things together. Larisa, I find myself in genuine awe of how much you pour into everything you touch.

Larisa Tingle, you are absolutely amazing. Every single day I am baffled by how lucky I am. And the more I sit with that, the more I realize that love, care, and dedication like this does something to a person. It doesn’t just feel good. It calls you forward. It makes you want to become.

The love and care you give to your work, to your students, to your friends, to our pets. The way your intellect shows up in the best ways, whether it’s buildings trivia or weird science or culture or community, The management of 10 different lives. Every day with you is a fun little adventure, and every day I feel myself becoming more of who I’m meant to be.

Like the greatest structures on earth, what endures takes planning, a solid foundation, and the right people building it together. I am so grateful to be building with you. (that’s an architecture reference!)

From the depths of my heart, I love you. Truly and completely. Thank you for letting me into your life, and for beginning a new one with me. I am looking forward to so much more.

Your Love, Za
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