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Colin McKinnon

@talkingcmac

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I conquer. Others concur.
Autism. Celiac. Grieving Father of a living child.
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"It's much more fun to be full of hope than pessimism any day of the week..." - Lemmy

#AceofSpades #Casino #Autism #AutismWow by @talkingcmac

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3 years ago

"There are things in this world that no human being should be able to endure. We should die of heartbreak, but we do not. Instead, we are forced to survive to bear witness." (Hawley, "The Good Father," 306)

#NoahHawley is good, but I have to have a chat with him about #BeforeTheFall

#TheGoodFather #adoption #AdoptionIsKidnapping #book #books #BookClub #BookPodcast #podcast #Colorado by @talkingcmac

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4 years ago

I came out of an alcoholic haze, Celiac fog, and everything else Autism missed, to realize that at a point in time when I really needed someone to like me, Amie did, and my response was to push her away, because my life was not worth living.

Seinfeld has a joke about acting like a big shot when you go to a restaurant, only for the bill to come and realizing, "Why did I buy all this food? I'm not hungry NOW," and I bring that up because Amie is never going to like me again even though I'M NOT SUICIDAL NOW. I mean, I am, but, y'know.

Life: Still Not Worth Living

#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #AutismWow by @talkingcmac

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2 days ago

Eight years ago, I was just shy of six months off alcohol, trapped in an unwanted relationship, unable to earn money, and trying to make it through the day enjoying the perks of Local Summer. Soviero was cancer-free and hadn't remarried.

It is eight years later. I am still off alcohol and free of the fatt girl from highschool, but I still can't earn any money, and don't have the energy to sit on a beach, knowing that Soviero, who re-married after giving me another opportunity to be a Man, which I failed miserably, could walk up with her son and new yacht-owning husband.

There is no escape.

#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #AutismWow by @talkingcmac

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2 days ago

"Oz didn't do this to you; you always were a bitch."

Being alive is such a waste of my time.

Fun Fact: my girlfriend broke up with me shortly after she turned 21 and didn't need me to buy her booze, while the only person I was allowed out of the house with was the fat girl from high, and my r-pist.

Don't drink and drive. And if you do, make sure it's off a cliff.

#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #AutismWow by @talkingcmac

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9 days ago

I cannot accurately describe how much grief this information would have saved me, and I'M the most articulate motherfxcker you've ever met in your LIFE.

It becomes clearer and clearer how much I was groomed to be my own sabateur, and how I wasn't paranoid because they WERE out to get me.

You'd think I'd be in better shape, considering my food runs, and the overwhelming weight of all my romantic regret because my mommy wanted to be the only one who's special.

#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #AutismWow by @talkingcmac

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10 days ago

FUN FACT: This FAT, ARROGANT, BESPECTACLED ZILCH, whose vagina I've neither come out of or into, was STILL able to ruin my life, as she is the one who pressured the Mother of My Kid to give away our daughter to MORE. FAT. PEOPLE.

This is her information. Please feel free to share with her your thoughts on #Adoption

#AdoptionisTrauma #AdoptionisKidnapping #JuliaNurturesLife by @talkingcmac

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16 days ago

The degree to which I loathe almost everyone on the face of this planet would SHOCK you.

I say "almost" everyone because, thanks to smoking cigs again, I started chatting with a woman who works here who knows someone who knows someone who's bringing me prepared gluten-free meals tomorrow.

Life is weird.

#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #AutismWow by @talkingcmac

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17 days ago

Hey @c.mcc.art

Could you please help me understand why your sister thought it was okay to give away our daughter to a morbidly obese statutory r-pist?

Although, considering you were quarantined in the Eating Recovery Center while that overachiever was dating an older man, I BET I CAN GUESS. 🙄

#SteveKyleisaPDFile #Adoption #Autism #ActuallyAutistic #AutismWow by @talkingcmac

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18 days ago

Katie Sain, who both looks like that and hated on my jokes, was able to convince my father to put me in Detox for five days, and then Sober Living for another two weeks, until the day I got out nine years ago and posted the second banger from our apartment on the boardwalk of ATLANTIC CITY.

GREAT place to stay sober. 🙄

Which makes it no surprise that Kari Kristensen, who both looks like that and liked my jokes, was able to inspire me to escape Katie's meaty clutches one Saturday in November the following year.

I did not move to Colorado FOR Kari, as there was legal w33d, a way to get around without a car, and the University of Denver is one of the only schools besides the University of Iowa to offer a Doctorate in Creative Writing. I just thought it would be nice to have someone on my side, as the previous Women who used to be were otherwise engaged. Literally.

But, as it turns out, Kari, before she got pregnant with twins to keep her boyfriend from moving to LA, worked at the Eating Recovery Center. Which means they're the SAME. PERSON.

I thought I'd broken the curse with the Summa Cum Laude graduate of Evangel University and Mother of My Kid. Sadly, first you have to k1ll the head vampire, who I was forced to move in with after losing my daughter.

#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #AutismWow by @talkingcmac

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19 days ago

I haven't had s3x in six and a half years, today.

The last time I did, was with this person, Meredith Kyle, now Robbins, of Limeade Marketing Agency.

It was the first time I hung out with a woman, and knew it was a date. I picked a spot where, if I tried to kiss her, and she wasn't into it, I could walk home, because she drove.

I asked her up to my apartment, because I finally lived alone, and figured if she wasn't impressed with my mattress on the floor, after already not having a car, and she left, we worked in different parts of the Christian-themed homeschool supply company, so it wouldn't be awkward, and, if it was, the temp agency could place me somewhere else.

She stayed for a while, but, not over, because I didn't want her to miss church and start our relationship off on the wrong foot. I woke up and went to church, myself, so she would know I didn't do it just because I wanted to sleep in.

It resulted in the most beautiful baby girl you've ever seen, who she subsequently gave up for #adoption to a morbidly obese statutory r-pist named Michael Mauk of Colorado Springs and #PikesPeakLemonade who "hopes her eyes change color" and "can't WAIT to get her into gymnastics."

And, despite my best efforts, I can't hate her, because she made it so the last person with whom I performed the most wonderful act two people can perform together wasn't with the fatt girl from highschool against my will. I also didn't have to worry about her drinking and drügging while pregnant.

Any roads, I haven't had s3x in six and a half years, today.

#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #AutismWow by @talkingcmac

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20 days ago

Forgot to mention the two ANGELS from St. Rose who bring me food sometimes.

Barbara brought me a tray full of gluten-free breaded chicken cutlets, which I haven't had in EIGHT YEARS, that were made my Andrea.

It's not the same as having friends, or anyone to call if things go wrong, or right, and it's been six and a half years since I've enjoyed intimacy, but, it's cool. Cool cool cool.

#Celiac #Autism #ActuallyAutistic #AutismWow by @talkingcmac

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21 days ago