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Tani Wright

@tani_wright

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5️⃣0️⃣ LICIOUS!!! taken in Brunch Please by @tani_wright

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9 hours ago

Me: “Look- I know I’m irrational”

Myah: “ummm when are you NOT irrational?! You changed your whole career, went back to school, built a business- a great business at that, created your whole family, and everything you did for Joe! We ALL watched that! You’ve built your whole life on being irrational! Everything you do is irrational! It’s literally who you are!”

Look- I needed this time with Myah tonight!!! I miss those hugs (and the Red Bulls she always brought me) Avodah misses Myah!!

This whole past three months can suck an entire bag of King Don’s… But still- the love and my people… Maybe they’ll put humpty back together again? ❤️‍🩹😢
(And yes, my brain is now singing the Humpty Dance, because in spite of everything- I am who I am) by @tani_wright

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2 days ago

🎶🎵And I'll run in the rain till I'm breathless.
When I'm breathless I'll run 'til I drop, hey!
And the thoughts of a fool's kind of careless; I'm just a fool waiting on the wrong block🎵🎶

https://youtu.be/Zp-LBD_q0sQ
#5k by @tani_wright

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3 days ago

We’re learning- our family. Hour by hour, day by day- we’re learning how to BE when ALL we’ve ever known has been ripped from us.

This weekend was as wonderful as able, with a new standard of “ok”. A standard that won’t change, but we are starting to learn how to walk with it a bit while the world moves.

I cannot speak much for the kids - I’m certain we will each learn and grow in our unique ways. And with that said, what I can say is that I am so fiercely proud, in the wake of loss they’re experiencing of their dad and VERY present great grandmother, that we are together. It may not be perfect, but that togetherness is reliable.

My grandparents were HUGE in my upbringing… HUGE. And Joe… We have been in each others life since I was 5 and he 9. We began our relationship when I was 17. I moved in with him my senior year of high school. I started timing contractions with our son during graduation. This family is all I know.
How could I possibly be ok??

The areas that we have had to boldly remain present for… The decision to choose moving forward after sitting in the spaces that could easily take us captive if we allow it. It is the absolute hardest damn thing we have EVER had to do.

We are changed. There is no going back, no re-do’s. There’s just then… And now.

This weekend was such a wonderful example of how we’re learning how to walk with it and still be together. Walk with it and still laugh. Walk with it and still be present in today.
That yes- it is possible to cry and laugh at the same time and wholly be engaged in the ‘why’ of each polar opposite.

I miss and love them so so so much. But so much of them are instilled in each of us. I don’t know how to do this. Neither do they.
But we weren’t given a choice…
I’m just grateful for them. My kids and my parents give me whole purpose. Our friends reinforce how we use that purpose. I don’t know that we’re going to be ok. But I do know we will make it. by @tani_wright

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7 days ago

I’m not sure we got here early enough 😜😜
DJ is most excellent… 🎶🎵 I caught the waves down in Africa🎶 Or whatever Toto said!! 🤩 In line, in time for the very best Bingo Loco MC’s taken in The Madison by @tani_wright

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9 days ago

Yesterday we honored Joe in every way we could think of! If here, he would’ve blown out 54 candles! In heaven, I wonder if he’s on the pool deck of a cruise ship with a bevy and a ‘puffer’!

I hope he celebrated with everyone we love that’s with him!

I hope he’s happy at a level I cannot even begin to wrap my head around!

All of us around his gravesite yesterday or around our patio got to love him every day of his earth lived life!

My Joe… Thank you for giving us everything you had to give, and seemingly still doing so! I love you so very much! by @tani_wright

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18 days ago

Today, Joe’s internment was held. I knew I would never be ready for this day, however it had to happen.

I don’t know which is worse- the day Joe passed or today, the day he was buried.

It’s probably splitting hairs- the numbing literal screaming of the ringing in the ears while trying to process what cannot be fathomed.

Or today- the day we lowered his remains in the ground.
Today we toasted him.
Today we returned dirt atop his urn.
Today we shared memories of him.
Today, there was no mind numbing ringing like a deafening scream. There were no actual deafening screams.
Today there was stark reality. Cold, heart shattering, stark reality.
Today felt like a betrayal to my husband and to us, to our life, as we left his cremated remains to bury while we… leave.

Today the entire world kept turning in all of its intertwined ways, while our immediate family stopped to honor Joe.
While our worlds were held suspended, the activities of the living seem harsh and demanding, careless and insensitive, abrasive and assumptuous while I stood holding my husbands urn.
Today sealed a reality that I cannot accept.
Today, unequivocally, was either the hardest day of my life or the next hardest… Today, there was no denying that their isn’t a choice but to walk forward in a life that isn’t remotely recognizable, because it isn’t ours.

As Joe and my children walked together with myself and Joe, my parents joined us, as did Joe’s sister Shirley and Joe and my nephew Stephen. by @tani_wright

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19 days ago

Me: I’ll never get a sleeve.
Also me: Well, here I am with half a sleeve!

Glimmers in this day are lovely. It’s wild how glimmers and and… Whatever is opposite of that can hold hands and somehow acknowledge- we can coexist.

Anyway, tattoos for Joe. I love him so much! And a wonderful afternoon spent with Kacie!

Thank you, Kari! Fabulous work as ALWAYS with Dragonfly Tattoo Co by @tani_wright

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19 days ago

This plant had me in an absolute meltdown. One of Joe’s plants in memory… And alllllllll of its leaves fallen all around its pot, yesterday.

I was devastated that I had let that happen. I gave him some water, and this morning: bam! Right back up and at em!

So: PSA- go water your plants! 🧡 by @tani_wright

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19 days ago

This one was a big deal for me. Manitou Incline: the back story… This one was on the list for Joe and I, with his new knees
You all know how that turned out. 😢

So, I was going to take it on. Kel, too!
But… Grief does this thing that, while I’ve experienced grief before I’ve never grieved my Joe before.
When it hits… The emotional and mental backlash is a quick onset of a physical complete weakness… An absolute depletion, really.

So, Kel and I decided it would be wise to NOT take on the ‘one mile of nearly 3,000 stairs at 68% grade, some sections requiring three points of contact at all times to literally climb the steps’ incline and maybe do some recon instead…
I could’ve done it. But it’s impossible to predict what renders me literally physically worthless will show itself.

Literal cans of oxygen are sold in the shops all around, because the elevation will kick your arse!

Anyway… Kelly dropped me at the entrance with the agreement that Id check out the entrance and MAYBE climb ten stairs in the time she’d drive back to scoop me up.

Well. 10 steps led to 100. And if I can do 100 I can do 200. And if I can do that, I can make it to the first bail point… And if I can do that then I can do 400!

At 400 I was feeling AMAZING- completely fine, able to continue. BUT that wasn’t the plan, we had supper arrangements, and I wanted to respect all of the variables.
There’s usually a trail with a ton of awesome switchbacks, 3 miles of em, to descend the incline. Unsure of where that would put me, from the first bail out of 380 ish steps, I just descended the steps. THAT wasn’t near the pace of ascending, and for sure tricky!!

I made it back to Kel just 10 minutes past our agreed upon time, which she assured me was right on Tani time! 🤣🙄😘

Despite the plan to not complete the climb, I felt accomplished and super pumped! by @tani_wright

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20 days ago

Loved our shared birthday workout, LeAnn, at Leann's Godtcha Movin'!! Becky I’ll share that workout with you ANYTIME!
And it wasn’t ‘official’ until Sheila inducted me into the 50’s club! 😘 by @tani_wright

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20 days ago

I’ve been eating a lot of pierogis lately- almost every night for about a month and a half! 🤣

I’ve been enjoying People’s Pierogi Collective!! All of their flavors are amazing. However I was hesitant to try the corned beef (corned beef is Joes jam, not mine).

I tried ‘em on recommendation of a few friends and- WOW!!! Sooooooo good!! They’re tasty with the mushroom pierogi.

My favorite is the OG - potato and cheese, although I’m not disappointed in living on the edge and mixing the varieties up a bit!

Just a nod to the pierogis I think everyone should RUN and grab! by @tani_wright

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21 days ago