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Shalini Chuganee

@thats_hotbyshai

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Shai C.
Emotionologist|MFT|CBT|Trauma
✍🏼 📚
Narcissistic Love & Lies
You Can’t Fake Intimacy
National Bestseller ⬇️
LOVE THAT WAS MEANT FOR ME

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Being desired and being chosen are two different things. Someone can crave your presence, your body, your attention, and the way you make them feel, while still abandoning you emotionally. We confuse chemistry with intimacy, intensity with connection, and being wanted with being valued. But chemistry is the spark; intimacy is the safety. Desire can make someone want access to you without having the capacity to truly show up for you. And sometimes the most confusing kind of heartbreak is being deeply desired by someone who still refuses to stay. Because being wanted feels like connection, until you realize you’re still alone in it.

#EmotionalIntimacy #Attachment #HealingJourney #KnowYourWorth #shaic by @thats_hotbyshai

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8 hours ago

Healthy love won’t always feel like butterflies, and that doesn’t mean the attraction is gone. 🤍

Sometimes, a healthy relationship feels calm, predictable, and even a little boring. Not because you’ve stopped loving each other, but because you’re no longer living in the chaos of uncertainty, chasing reassurance, or wondering where you stand.

Boredom isn’t always the absence of attraction. Sometimes, it’s the absence of chaos.

Healthy love isn’t about feeling a constant high. It’s about choosing each other in the ordinary moments, creating new experiences together, and learning that peace can be just as beautiful as passion.

You can feel secure and still desire your partner. You can feel comfortable and still keep the spark alive. ❤️‍🔥

The goal isn’t to make love feel exciting every second. It’s to build a love that feels safe enough to grow and alive enough to keep choosing.

Don’t confuse peace with a lack of passion. ✨

#HealthyRelationships #SecureLove #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalIntimacy #shaic by @thats_hotbyshai

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a day ago

Shai on the things we were never taught to say out loud.

Stop auditioning. Choose yourself without guilt. And know that healing is something you do, with the right guide beside you, not something done to you.

Swipe through, then save the one you needed today. 💛

🎧 Full conversation on Spotify | Apple Podcasts | all major platforms. Link in bio.

#TheAboutHerShow #SelfWorth #HealingJourney #MentalHealth #ChooseYourself by @thats_hotbyshai

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a day ago

The most effortless relationships are often built through the most intentional effort. ❤️

Healthy love isn’t about never having conflict, never needing reassurance, or always getting it right. It’s about two people who are willing to communicate, repair, stay curious about each other, and keep choosing connection—even when it takes work.

Effortless doesn’t mean effortless. It means the effort feels safe, mutual, and worth it.

#HealthyRelationships #EmotionalIntimacy #RelationshipPsychology #SecureAttachment #shaic by @thats_hotbyshai

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2 days ago

Shai C. once helped brands change how people live. Now she helps people change how they heal.

The behavioural strategist and author of Love That Was Meant for Me tells our host why moving on is not the same as healing, and why so many women spend their lives auditioning for approval.

If you’ve ever kept the peace at your own cost, this one's for you.

Read the full story on AboutHer Magazine. Link in bio.

#AboutHerMagazine #MentalHealth #HealingJourney #SelfWorth #ChooseYourself by @thats_hotbyshai

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2 days ago

The new episode of The AboutHer Show is live now. 🎙️

Shai sits down with our host for an honest conversation about healing, self-worth, and the patterns we keep repeating without realising it.

In this episode:

✨ Why moving on is not the same as moving forward
✨ The difference between compromise and sacrifice
✨ Why anxiety in a new relationship is not excitement
✨ The questions to ask a partner before it’s too late
✨ The six heartbreaks behind her book, Love That Was Meant For Me

Watch the full conversation on Spotify | Apple Podcasts | and all major platforms. Link in bio.

#TheAboutHerShow #MentalHealth #HealingJourney #SelfWorth #Relationships by @thats_hotbyshai

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3 days ago

Imagine being more concerned with what a woman is wearing at the gym than with your own workout. 😂

If she’s showing up, lifting weights, and putting in the work, maybe worry less about her leggings and more about your own reps. 💪

Let women work out in peace. #GymTok #WomenWhoLift #MindYourBusiness #shaic by @thats_hotbyshai

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3 days ago

Self-care does not have to be a big production. 🫧

Sometimes, it is just the shower, the warm water, a scent you love, and five minutes that belong only to you. That small ritual is not indulgence for the sake of it. It is how you tell your nervous system, “you are safe, you can soften now.”

I unboxed the @sabonspa.tanger festive spa set with @BrandMX, and the Hydrating Shower Oil is already my favorite part of the day. The simplest ritual can feel the most luxurious. 🤍

What is your small daily ritual that makes you feel like yourself again? Tell me below. 👇

#SelfCareRitual #SABON #EmotionalWellness #shaic
#selflove

[self care ritual, shower oil, SABON spa gift set, luxury bath and body, hydrating shower oil, self care for women, mindful self care, festive gift ideas, body care routine, emotional wellness] by @thats_hotbyshai

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3 days ago

Shai is a therapist, author, and self-described emotionologist who has spent years helping people process what they’ve been through, not just push past it.

In this conversation with our host, she draws a line many of us blur. Moving on is not the same as moving forward. One pretends the pain is gone. The other learns to live well alongside it.

Her book, Love That Was Meant For Me, comes from that same place: her own heartbreaks, her own unlearning, and the patterns she had to let be.

Full episode drops this Thursday.

#TheAboutHerShow #MentalHealth #HealingJourney #EmotionalWellbeing #SelfWorth by @thats_hotbyshai

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5 days ago

Narcissism isn’t always about bad people hurting good people. Sometimes, it’s hurt people hurting people. But understanding someone’s wounds doesn’t mean excusing the damage they cause. And sometimes, in trying to understand someone else, you lose yourself.

Narcissistic love & lies - coming out soon !
Not mine , not me
#Narcissism #Gaslighting #notminenotmeshaic #DrShaiC shaic by @thats_hotbyshai

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5 days ago

Every therapist needs a space to process too.

In my conversation with Shalini Chuganee, we spoke about the often-unseen side of therapy, vicarious trauma, emotional load, and the importance of having your own way to release it.

For Shalini, that comes through mindfulness, meditation, spirituality and reflection.

Because holding space for others also means knowing how to hold space for yourself.

#Therapy #MentalHealth #VicariousTrauma #Mindfulness #MentalHealthAwareness TherapistLife Psychology SharadPodcast by @thats_hotbyshai

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10 days ago

by @thats_hotbyshai

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11 days ago