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Soma Miller

@the.essential.man

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Soul Guide | Supporting high achieving men to unlock their gifts, access aligned power and embody their dharma.
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Your integrity is a transmission of YOUR deepest truth.

A unique set of directives that you only get access to by having an intimate awareness of what's most important to you and what supports you to show up as the best version of yourself.

When you compromise this, you actually put your relationship in an even more compromised position because your waffling, wavering, wishy washy foundation, is not grounded in what you stand for as a a man.

If you struggle with this.

Take the time to get to know yourself.

Take pauses in your conversations to connect with what’s most alive for you.

Risk owning your truth even if seems it could lead to rejection or disappointment.

#integrity #emotionalintelligence #selfknowledge #mensgroups #menscircle #menswork #menscoach #menscoaching by @the.essential.man

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4 years ago

As men, we perpetuate our suffering by denying the existence of it.

That denial prevents us from moving beyond it and extracting the wisdom, value and meaning from it.

The pretense that we are good and fine and don’t need anything is absolute bullsh*t.

I don’t care how much a man appears to have his sh*t together on the outside.

Deep down there is somewhere that he hurts.

It’s when we can make our hurts sacred and bring curiosity to them, is when we stop being ruled by them.

And they can become our allies in achieving all that we desire.

It’s in brotherhood that we can learn to put down the weight of your aloneness.

Because we can see that each one of us is carrying a piece of the other.

And in this witnessing and being with we feel validated and not broken.

Find men you can trust.
Risk baring the truth of your heart.

Let this be a gesture towards your mutual freedom.

The age of the lone wolf is over.

#mensmentalhealthawareness #paintopurpose #theageofthelonewolfisover #menswork #menscoaching #menscircle #healing #liberation by @the.essential.man

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4 years ago

Read the full blog article “The Wounded Boy And The Conscious Man”

Link in my bio👆🏽

#masculinity #adulting101 #sacredmasculine #tribe #consciousmen
#menswork #mensmentalhealth #initiation #ritesofpassage #theageofthelonewolfisover
#revolutionary #divinefeminine #relationshipcoaching
#selfrealization #shadowwork #embodiment #divinemasculineenergy #manhood #consciouscock taken in Initiation by @the.essential.man

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6 years ago

She doesn’t want a man she can control.

She wants a man she can trust.

This means you can be truthful.

It means you know how to take care of yourself, so she doesn’t have to.

She might test your boundaries not because she is intentionally undermining you, but simply because she may have contrary needs and desires in that moment.

Having boundaries doesn’t mean you should never compromise or neglect to meet your partners needs.

Sometimes it is a hard no, from a soft heart.

Sometimes it’s a ‘not right now, how about in an hour?’

Sometimes no words are required at all because you are so committed to living your truth and your values, that your boundaries are just felt in your way of being.

If you have a hard time setting boundaries it’s possible this was not modeled well for you growing up, or you were in an environment in which your mental, emotional or physical boundaries were not taken care of appropriately at a certain developmental stage.

You may have learned you had to abandon parts of yourself to be loved or accepted.

Men that work with me often need to make contact with themselves in a more direct way through a somatic internal family systems process in order to learn that felt sense of where their boundaries need to reside.

Reach out to me if this is something you want support with.

Leave a comment with any questions you have on the subject for future content.

Men, do you have a hard time with boundaries? by @the.essential.man

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2 years ago

When you avoid your own inner work —
when you don’t face your pain, speak your truth, or steady your emotions —
that weight doesn’t vanish.

It lands on her shoulders.
She becomes the one initiating the hard conversations.
The one managing the emotional temperature.
The one carrying the depth and direction of the relationship.

And eventually… she burns out.
Because she can’t hold the container for you.

Let’s be honest:
🜃 When you can’t process your anger, she doesn’t feel safe.
🜄 When you won’t own your needs, she feels like your mother.
🜁 When you numb out and avoid, she loses trust in your leadership.
🜂 When you disconnect from your truth, the polarity fizzles.
⏣ When you rely on her to anchor you, she starts to resent the weight.

This isn’t about shame.
It’s about ownership — the kind that creates agency and sets you free.

Your inner world is your responsibility.
Your growth is your responsibility.
And the quality of your relationship depends on it.

That’s why I created Elemental — a 12-week rite of passage for men ready to reclaim their emotional, energetic, and sexual power… and show up in their lives with both spine and heart.

We train.
We confront hard truths.
We build brotherhood.
We reset the nervous system.
We learn how to feel again — without getting lost or overwhelmed.

This isn’t therapy.
It’s not about becoming a “better man” for someone else.
It’s about learning to lead yourself so you stop outsourcing your emotional labor.

We start September 28.
Includes a 3-day retreat in the Oregon countryside.
You’ll walk away clearer, stronger, more grounded.

DM me Elemental if you’re ready.

The age of the lone wolf is over. taken in Ashland, Oregon by @the.essential.man

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a year ago

What would you add ladies?

Men if you’re looking to take a deeper dive into provision, which starts with resourcing yourself, I invite you to join me for The Reset; a 12-week container to practice the skills of embodied leadership.

Ever wish you had a wise council of brothers that would help you crush it in every area of life?

In this 12 week intensive you’ll…

👑 Learn to lead your life with clarity, confidence, connection and conviction

👑 Resource yourself in loving and truthful feedback from a community of peers that highlights the exact blind-spots that hold you back

👑 Learn science based bio hacking tools to cultivate resilience and expand your capacity to handle stress

👑 Develop the relational attunement skills that foster trust and connected intimacy

👑 Overcome habits that pull you out of alignment with your life’s great work

👑 Gain mastery of your sexual energy so you can channel it in service to your higher calling

👑 Overcome the people pleasing, nice guy and step into being a grounded man with heart, spine, and balls

If this speaks to you, send me a DM today to apply for this life changing king’s council.

#pneuma #menswork #emergent #emergence #menscoach #mensgroup #menscoaching #mastermind #embodimentcoach #masculineenergy #relationshipskills #sacredmasculine #divinefemine taken in Ashland, Oregon by @the.essential.man

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3 years ago

We discovered this beautiful spring fed river, with ice cold water not too far from home this past weekend.

I often question what the f*ck I’m doing spending hours of my day staring at screens when I go to places like this and never want to leave.

And then I remember what my mission is.

To inspire men to live unconventional lives and to claim the reality that their souls are pleading with them to create.

What that pleading is disguised as;
Depression.
The tendency to want to escape into alcohol, video games or Netflix.
Relationships falling apart.
The pain of working until your adrenals are depleted.

If you the feel that subtle ache or faint cry in your soul asking for something more, consider that what it will take to make the shifts you need to make in your life and who you need in your corner.

DM if this speaks to you and would like to jump on a call with me this week to explore your options to creating greater freedom and soul alignment.

#menscoaching #menscoach #menscircle #soulwork #alignment #soulalignment #depth #sup #oregonlife taken in Wood River by @the.essential.man

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4 years ago

The moment you recognize there is no end game, is the moment you invoke the power to dilate your experience of reality open to infinity.

Closure is a habit.

Contraction is a habit.

Doubt is a habit.

Attachment to certainty is a habit.

Needing to be right is a habit.

Consumption is a habit.

All of these are survival strategies you developed to protect yourself early in life, yet as an adult prevent you from accessing your true potential.

It’s the resistance to the pain and discomfort of what’s on your plate that prolongs your suffering.

These same things that you want to avoid and distance yourself from, are there for you as agents of the transformation you seek.

When you can be in the practice of opening through your own resistance, that same energy of resistance becomes a superpower you get to harness.

Your surface desires for more money, more pussy, or fill in the blank…
Are masking a yearning for a larger experience of your Self, your Soul, and a deeper intimacy with all of creation.

In order to free yourself from the slavery of your desires, be a YES to what’s immediately in front of you and within you, even if hurts.

Even if you’re wrong.
Even if you feel stupid.

Greet it like a long, lost friend.

Embrace it with your radical, devotional presence and you will unlock the secrets you’ve been hiding from yourself your whole life.

#kundalini #breathwork #meditate #yogi #puravida #consciousness #transformation #freedom #menswork #wisdom by @the.essential.man

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5 years ago

I had a life-changing experience a couple weeks ago when I ventured into the wild with 8 men and canoed 65 miles, through the iron and ochre painted canyon walls of the Green River, Utah.

We faced rain, sleet, flash floods, and washed out campsites.

Lugging hundreds of pounds of gear through knee deep, muddy river banks to break camp and cook delicious meals and sleep under blankets of star lit skies.

Despite the adversity and challenges we faced, they were met without hesitation or complaint.

There was an uncontrived, organic, synergy, grace and devotion all channeled towards a shared purpose.

Amongst us were life coaches, sales reps, geologists, lighting engineers, filmmakers, tantrikas, hippos, wildmen, warriors, lovers, kings, and shamans...

the threads tying us all together; a love of nature, the desire to be in contact with other men, and our pain...

from recent losses to suicide,

from feeling undernourished in relationships,

from the burden of responsibility of keeping up with modernity,

from being estranged from their own children,

from witnessing the echoes of childhood traumas resounding through their current love lives.

In this ritual of meeting and holding space for each other in these places, men were not fixed...

but the alchemy of our solidarity and intentional loving presence, allowed us all to leave a little lighter,

a little more whole,

a little more free,

And a lot more in love, respect and reverence for each other and intimate with the Source of all Creation.
‌

I left even more certain that these kinds of experiences are a vital nutrient that’s absent from the lives of men.

With 2023 just around the corner, I’ve been called to offer more of this.

I’m opening up a waiting list for men that feel the call to come back home to yourself and your place in the great order of things, in the company of other men.

Full details to be revealed in early December.

To join the waitlist and get a $900 earlybird discount, DM me with the word, initiate by October 31st. taken in Moab-arches National Park,UT by @the.essential.man

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4 years ago

First 10 DMs are eligible to receive a $300 flight credit ✈️

Join facilitators Soma Miller and Chris Kyle with a combined 5 decades of experience serving thousands of men.

WHO’S IT FOR?? Creators, innovators, changemakers

EXPERIENCE:

🧘🏻‍♂️ Daily guided mindfulness and embodied practice

🪶 Nature-based leadership facilitation and framework

🏔️ Backpacking to a base camp in the California High Sierras

🌀 Individual and group transformational coaching

🥘 Nutrient-dense organic food prepared by private chef

🔥 Activities to alchemize transformation

Join us for this epic nature immersion retreat, where connections are forged, ideas take flight, and growth is sparked.

#mensretreat #menswork #mensgroup #menscoach #menscoaching #masculinity #menscircle #adventure #emergence #emergentstrategy #emergent #transformation taken in Emigrant Wilderness by @the.essential.man

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3 years ago

Be wary when considering investing in those pretty faces promising quick fixes.

Do your due diligence. taken in Ashland, Oregon by @the.essential.man

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3 years ago

Leadership in relationships isn’t about control—it’s about stewardship and partnership.

It’s about mutuality, where both people bring their strengths to the table.

And when you treat her as the oracle—respecting her wisdom without putting the burden of every decision on her—you create a foundation of trust and safety. by @the.essential.man

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2 years ago