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Sabina ✦ Astrologer & Relationship Mentor for Cycle Breakers

@theattachmentalchemist

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☾ rewire attachment patterns⋅love & parent from your center
✧ astrology as your map⋅inner safety as your anchor
↡ create the love you always craved

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People say astrology is irrational – but what if what is really irrational, is pretending the universe is just a giant coincidence.
That we are all just randomly existing in it, trying to "make the best of it" – while ignoring how disconnected we feel. No wonder we feel hollow, anxious and burnt out.
We are supposed to believe that stars are just gas. Emotions just chemicals. Consciousness? Just a byproduct of what neurons do. The soul –do we even "have" one?
Astrology comes from cultures which considered the world as inherently meaningful. Where meaning wasn't something to chase – it was in everything.
Today, we live in a world of disconnection. We undervalue our interconnectedness with nature – or really, that we are nature. Our intuition. The present. Ritual and rites of passage. Our sense that there's more here than what we can measure. We overvalue things, appearances and status.
In that worldview, the connection between the soul and the cosmos becomes irrelevant. Astrology gets dismissed as a joke.
But maybe it's not astrology that is irrational. Maybe what's irrational is pretending we don't need meaning anymore. Pretending we're fine living in a world where the cosmos doesn't speak, the earth doesn't feel and the pain of living in this beautiful, broken world has no deeper context.
Part of healing is reclaiming the right to see the world as alive again. To reclaim the idea that our lives are meaningful. That none of us is really alone. I know, because remembering that is what pulled me out of my darkest times. by @theattachmentalchemist

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7 days ago

I don’t believe astrology and attachment live in separate worlds. I think both are trying to answer the same question:
“What do we need to feel safe, seen & understood?”
A birth chart can offer language for one’s inner wiring.  Attachment work can teach us how to meet that wiring with more regulation, compassion & repair.

Both ask us to slow down and look beneath the behaviour.
Not: “What is wrong with them?”  But: “What are they feeling?”  “What do they need?”  “What gets activated in me when they need it?”

If this resonates, follow for more on astrology, attachment & emotional healing. 🦋🤍 by @theattachmentalchemist

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12 days ago

I believe a birth chart reading can give someone more clarity than hours of talk therapy ever could.

I believe people who understand their birth chart move through life feeling less disconnected, less unseen & less confused by their own patterns & contradictions.

I believe astrology gives language to what is happening beneath the surface. It can help people trust themselves & the unfolding of their lives more.

I believe parents who understand their child’s birth chart can support them more intentionally & with more compassion, patience & trust. by @theattachmentalchemist

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14 days ago

I spent my whole pregnancy reading every book about home birth and free birth. Listened to every podcast about nourishing him in the womb. Genuinely thought that once he was born I'd just hold him, feed him, cuddle him and we'd be this cute little happy family.
Nobody mentioned the bouncing. The singing. Walking up and down the stairs guessing what he needed. Seven naps a day. Not being able to do a single thing that wasn't about his body and his needs.
It humbled me completely.
I'd done years of healing before he came. Meditation, books, therapy, unlearning codependency and people pleasing. I thought I'd handled my past. Then I was pushed to my limit and what came up in me was hers.
I'd never hit him. Not once, not ever. But for the first time I understood how a mother could.
I spent so long hating myself for even feeling that rage in my body, even though I never directed it at him. I was always wondering if he still felt it.
That was the beginning of the actual work.
Turns out it wasn't more reading. It was staying in my body when everything in me wanted relief outside of me.
My oldest is now 5. Time is flying by. I've learned to be firm and kind. Mostly. It's my mantra whenever my system detects a threat through their emotions.
Hardest and most beautiful thing I've ever done.
P.S. Guess which slide my 5yo designed?

#storytellingcontentchallenge by @theattachmentalchemist

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a month ago

Most of my life I felt like I something was fundamentally wrong with me.
Like I’d never truly belong anywhere. That I’d always be behind because my childhood was too messy and I was just… broken in a way I couldn’t fix.

Then I realized: I wasn’t starting from 0 like everyone else. I was starting from -8494992. I was climbing out of a deficit most people don’t have to face.

Today, I know I’m not broken. I’m resilient. My late blooming wasn’t a failure – it was the time real healing asked for. The time I needed to fully embrace that belonging was always mine to claim.

Your story is still being written. And it doesn’t have to match anyone else’s schedule. Keep going. ✨🤍

#storytellingxontentchallenge by @theattachmentalchemist

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a month ago

I used to react very impulsively to my partners negative feedback. Especially when it came through a text message.

By invalidating. “Ok calm down, no need to start a drama!”
By being defensive. “It’s not my fault I was busy with other things.”
By deflecting. “Why do you always do this when I am trying to get something done?”

It always ended in long winded Whatsapp battles were we both felt misunderstood.

Everything changed when I realised, I was defending myself to make myself feel better. But that was only adding fuel to the fire when he was already dysregulated.

I learned to respond to what he actually said, nit defending myself against it:
“I said I will do X and I didn’t. I know this is frustrating because you relied on me. I am sorry. I’m going to prioritise following through, no matter what else is happening. Let’s talk more about this tonight when we are home.”

Instead of feeling attacked and explaining myself, I learned to stay in the present, validate, co-regulate and deescalate so my partner feels heard and we can move on swiftly and cleanly.

conflict resolution, high conflict couple, secure attachment, attachment theory, responsive communication, co regulation

#storytellingcontentchallenge by @theattachmentalchemist

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2 months ago

Snacks and a good show used to be one of many ways I ran from my feelings. I didn’t realize how much I was avoiding until I quit processed snacks and sweets—suddenly I was feeling so much more uneasy throughout the days.

I realized that it was a misguided way of trying to manage my nervous system.

I doubled down on the skills I had to help my body regulate and stay conscious during challenging moments.

Now when I feel something, I truly feel it. I eat when I am hungry, not when I am needing some comfort. It has changed my relationship to food and to myself.

#storytellingcontentchallenge by @theattachmentalchemist

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2 months ago

girl who wasn’t allowed to have her own identity -> building myself from scratch

My message to you is: when you feel lost and like you don’t know who you are, be brave and follow your souls nudges.

We need more people who turn their trauma into wisdom and raise the next generation with love and respect.
If you are on this journey, follow along 🤍

#storytellingcontentchallenge by @theattachmentalchemist

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2 months ago

I’m 31 and not afraid to admit that:
1. Sometimes when life gets difficult, my first thought is still: I wish I had a mum. Someone i can call anytime, someone who cheers me on. A grandma for my boys.

2. I don’t have many friends. I learned early that people don’t stay, so I built walls and high standards for who I let close.

3. I spent so many years healing from my childhood and trying to rebuild myself, but sometimes I feel thrown back to being 14, feeling lost and doubting my right to exist.

4. I’m so much more emotionally present, understanding, less authoritarian than my mum – but often i still wonder if I’m a good enough mum for my kids. I know the cost of spending your adult life healing from your childhood, and i don’t want that for my boys.

5. I spent years smoking weed to numb my pain. Sometimes I wonder how much that impacted my still-developing brain.

6. I’d love to connect with more likeminded people, but sometimes I get really anxious in social settings, especially if I don’t know anyone. I’m terrible at small talk. I learned that healing isn’t a destination but a lifelong journey. If you were taught what love looks like through a distorted lens, this is a safe space to unlearn it and learn something different. Follow along 🤍

#storytellingcontentchallenge by @theattachmentalchemist

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2 months ago

You can't think your way out of a flooded nervous system. When an Aries Moon goes into attack mode, the reflective part of the brain is already offline, so "just ask yourself what you're protecting" in the heat of it doesn't work. Regulation comes first. You breathe, you move, you let the charge move through the body – once your system settles, the insight can actually come through. Safety first, understanding second.

If you are ready to go deeper – The opening chapters of my book are free. They cover everything you need to know about the nervous system, attachment and how to start reading your own chart. Comment “me” and I will send it to you. 🤍

#ariesmoon #moonsignastrology #attachmenthealing #nervoussystemhealing #cyclebreaker by @theattachmentalchemist

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2 months ago

If you keep ending up in the same fight with different words, nothing is wrong with you. You’re not failing at love. You’re learning what healthy love feels like as an adult, which is something many of us never experienced as children. It’s a messy journey.

You don’t need your partner to sign up for „the work“ before anything can shift. When you stop trying to change him and start changing how you meet the moment, the dynamic can already start to move. But that’s different from carrying it alone indefinitely. The weight of trying to fix a relationship on your own will drain the life out of you. It always takes two.
Save this and come back to it whenever you need reminding. 🤍

#attachmenthealing #nervoussystemhealing #conflictinrelationships #traumainformed #cyclebreaker by @theattachmentalchemist

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2 months ago

It took me years to notice I had a script.

My husband would forget something small. And my whole energy would shift.
I’d go cold. Stiff and formal. Quiet.
When he asked what was wrong,
I said: nothing?
It was so automated I never decided to do it. It just ran.

For years he told me how triggering that response was, that he could see “there was clearly something” and most of the time I couldn’t even comprehend what had happened. My body had already reacted. Even once I could see it happening, I couldn't stop it.
I did try. It didn’t work. Understanding how much it hurt him wasn’t enough, neither was willpower.

I couldn’t have named this then. But here’s what was running underneath: You want me to be vulnerable, admit I’m hurt, and share my needs with you in this state? Nope. I’m fine. Let’s just move on. Also – you should know. And I shouldn’t need this from you in the first place.

And underneath that: he doesn’t actually care about me. I was silly to think he did.

Stating a need felt too exposed. Admitting I was hurt felt shameful.
I wanted to move on. I couldn’t. My face, my body language, my tone of voice just wouldn’t follow.
It wasn’t until I learned about the nervous system and attachment theory and applied that to my own birth chart, that I could see the motivation and the unconscious mechanism underneath the reaction. It was like seeing myself from the outside.
And with the right tools to hold myself through the discomfort, I could finally decide I didn’t want to be this version of myself anymore. I thanked her. And let her go.

Now – you wanna guess my Moon sign? 🫠

And if you want the process in more detail, the opening chapters of my book are free. It tells you everything you need to know about the nervous system, attachment and how to start reading your own chart. Comment “me” and I will send it to you. 🤍

#moonsign #moonsignastrology #attachmentstyle #attachmenthealing #nervoussystemhealing #consciousrelationships #relationalhealing by @theattachmentalchemist

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2 months ago