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Jazz & Dee | The FIFO reset

@thefiforeset

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15 years of FIFO almost broke us.
Sharing life, love & what we’ve learnt ❤️
Marriage | Connection | Life after FIFO
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There was a lot going on in my head…
felt like a cyclone most days.

Everything at once.

Work pressure.
Providing.
Trying to be everything I thought I had to be.

But I didn’t talk about it.

I just kept going…
because in my head, that’s what a man does.

You push through.
You handle it.
You don’t say anything.

But keeping it all in… doesn’t make you stronger.

It just gets louder.

And after a while… it starts affecting everything.
How you show up.
How you think.
How you connect at home.

That’s something I had to learn.

I’ve also had to learn I’m not just a provider.

I’m a husband.
I’m a dad.
And that means being present too… not just physically, but mentally.

Still working on that now.

If you’re dealing with that same noise in your head — you’re not alone 🤍

Whanau first. Always. 🤍

#FIFOlife #fyp #realrelationships #FIFOwife #couples by @thefiforeset

I don’t think we even realised what was happening at the time.

We just kept going…
doing what we thought was right.

When you’re in it…
you don’t really see it.

But looking back —
we were missing each other without even knowing it.

And this isn’t about dogging FIFO…
because it gave us a lot.

But there’s a truth to it
that not many people talk about.

And now… we’re starting to understand each other again,
and slowly finding ourselves again too.

That’s why we’re sharing this.
Because we know this isn’t just us.

There’s a way through this… we’re finding our way back and so can you

Whānau first, always 🤍

#fifolife #fifowife #realrelationships #couples #fyp by @thefiforeset

I’m Jasmine & this is my husband Damian.

But you can just call us Jazz & Dee. 🤍

For years, FIFO gave us everything…

but it was quietly taking us from each other.

We had the money.

The life.

The “we’re doing well” from the outside.

But behind it all…

we were slowly losing us.

Not all at once.

Not loudly.

Quietly… without even realising.

Until one day…

the distance felt bigger than the love.

So he walked away from FIFO.

Not because we failed…

but because we refused to lose what mattered most — us and our family.

We’re sharing this for the couples

who feel the distance, the pressure, the silence…

You’re not alone in this 🤍

We’re rebuilding what FIFO life nearly took — together.

Follow along as we find our way back to each other 🤍

— Jazz & Dee 🤍
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#FIFOlife #FIFOwife #FIFOfamily #FIFOcouple #fyp by @thefiforeset

TBH, our darling is just a spoilt little brat and we’re now reaping the consequences! 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

But for reals, the older we get, the more we realise there are things we would’ve done differently raising our older three.

We were young parents doing the best we could with what we knew back then.

Having our youngest has given us the chance to put those lessons into practice, while still growing and healing our relationships with our older kids. 🥹

We can’t change how we raised them, but we can change how we show up for them now. ❤️ by @thefiforeset

What an angry guy 😂💀

Please tell me I’m not the only one who loses the plot over the smallest things when I’m running late! 😂 by @thefiforeset

Navigating an 8-year-old when your other three kids are already adults has been a bit of a challenge lately.

Our girl has been having some BIG emotions lately, especially when things don’t go her way. And we’re learning how to help her understand and regulate those feelings rather than just giving in to keep the peace.

I think one of the hardest things about having such a big age gap is that she’s grown up around adults and older siblings, so sometimes we forget she’s still only 8.

With Dee being home full time now, we’re also having to change some of the ways we’ve parented her. Another thing we’re trying to work through after 15 years of FIFO.

When time together was limited, we probably overcompensated by giving her what she wanted, and now we’re learning to find that balance again.

So last night, after a few tears and some honest conversations and a big hug, we took her out for some quality time. Sushi and iPlay, two of her favourite things.

We’re learning that she doesn’t always need to get her way, but she does need us to help her through those big feelings.

Even after raising three kids into adulthood, we’re still learning as parents.

This parent hood ride is wild 😂😂😂

Anyone else raising a younger child with a big age gap between siblings? How are you finding it? by @thefiforeset

Being a FIFO wife for so many years, our life was always planned around Dee’s roster.

We may have walked away from the money & security, but we’ve gained a freedom I never really thought about until now.

Like saying YES to a spontaneous girls’ date, not having to organise babysitters or think twice about going, knowing I still get to come home to my husband. 🥹💃

It’s little things like this that make me realise just how much our life has changed. ❤️ by @thefiforeset

The random conversations we have on the way to the gym 💀😂

But for reals though, are you holding it till you get home or letting it rip? 😂💩

And do men actually have conversations with strangers in the next cubicle?! Or is it just Dee? 😂😂😂 by @thefiforeset

If you want a taste of Japan at home, RUN, don’t walk to Costco! 🇯🇵🍜😂

One of our favourite ramens we had in Japan, Ichiran Ramen, its on special for $18 at the moment and it serves 5 people, whānau! 😍🙌

Safe to say Dee approved 👌🏾 by @thefiforeset

We wanted him home more… then when he was home, we didn’t know what to do with ourselves separately 😂

If one of us went somewhere alone, it was, “Oh, aye? you’re not coming?”

We were so used to being a package deal. Gym together. Shops together. Even a quick errand turned into an outing for two....like legit 🤣

We still love doing life together. Just getting used to the odd “Nah, you go, I’m good here” without taking it personally or getting into a fight 🤍

Who can relate? Or is it just us lol by @thefiforeset

16 years between our girls, a grandson in the mix, and this is what our mornings look like 😂

Never a dull moment in the Ngati household! by @thefiforeset

Four years as a support worker 🥰 Some days it’s super stressful, other days it’s a young kani kani (dance) & Karaoke in the car 😂🎶

It’s her singing for me though 🤣🎤 by @thefiforeset