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Aimee Mortensen | Relationship + Sex Therapy

@therapyaimee

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CCMHC, CST, NCC
Relationship + Sex Specialist ❤️‍🔥
Owner of @worthitcounselingconsulting

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“You had the power all along my dear.” - Glinda The Good Witch taken in Worth It counseling+consulting by @therapyaimee

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a day ago

Capability is what you’re able to do. Capacity is what you have the time, energy, emotional bandwidth, and mental space to do without sacrificing your well-being.

You can be an incredible employee, a present parent, a supportive partner, a reliable friend, and the person everyone calls when they need something. But if being all those things means you’re constantly exhausted, resentful, overwhelmed, or disconnected from yourself, something needs to change.

Being capable of doing it all doesn’t mean doing it all is sustainable. And your ability to push through exhaustion doesn’t mean you should have to.

So, how do you start making your life less busy?

Audit your commitments. What are you doing out of genuine desire versus guilt, obligation, or fear of disappointing someone?

Practice letting things be good enough. Not everything needs your maximum effort. Some things can be simplified, delegated, or left unfinished.

Learn to tolerate disappointing people. Someone else’s disappointment doesn’t automatically mean you’ve done something wrong. Boundaries sometimes mean allowing others to have feelings about your decisions.

Build in margin. Stop filling every available hour. Rest, connection, and doing absolutely nothing are not rewards you have to earn.

Ask yourself, “What will this cost me?” Before saying yes, consider what you’ll have to give up in time, energy, or peace to make it happen.

Redefine what success looks like. A full calendar is not proof of a full life. Productivity is not the same thing as fulfillment. taken in Utah by @therapyaimee

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3 days ago

Spent time learning from some of the best last week. taken in Utah by @therapyaimee

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4 days ago

want to make sex feel like a chore? Tell someone they have to have it! by @therapyaimee

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6 days ago

I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Ramani Durvasula today. @doctorramani taken in Utah by @therapyaimee

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7 days ago

Consent education starts long before conversations about sex.
So, what does consent actually require?
Research-informed consent education teaches us that consent should be:
Freely given. No pressure, guilt, threats, manipulation, or coercion.
Informed. People need to understand what they are agreeing to. This means being honest, communicating clearly, and never intentionally withholding important information.
Specific. Agreeing to one thing doesn’t mean agreeing to everything. A hug isn’t permission for a kiss, and consent to one activity doesn’t automatically mean consent to another.
Ongoing. Consent isn’t a one-time conversation. Anyone can change their mind, even if they initially said yes.
Given by someone capable of consenting. Silence, freezing, uncertainty, sleep, or incapacitation should never be treated as a yes.

How do we teach this to children of all ages?
Toddlers: Ask before tickling, hugging, or kissing. Respect their refusals when possible, and narrate necessary caregiving. Teach them the proper names for body parts and that they can always tell a trusted adult when something feels wrong.

Preschoolers: Teach the difference between surprises and unsafe secrets, practice asking before touching or taking things, and let children choose alternatives to unwanted affection.

Elementary-aged children: Talk about personal space, privacy, peer pressure, digital boundaries, and how to respond when someone says no.

Tweens and teens: Discuss dating, sexual consent, digital images, sexting, peer pressure, alcohol and other substances, and the responsibility to recognize and respect another person’s boundaries. Make it clear that consent must be ongoing and that relationship status never creates entitlement to someone’s body.

And perhaps one of the most important lessons for parents and caregivers: model the behavior you want your children to learn. Apologize when you cross a boundary. Respect their privacy as they grow. Don’t force affection to protect an adult’s feelings. taken in Worth It counseling+consulting by @therapyaimee

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7 days ago

Community collaboration matters. taken in Worth It counseling+consulting by @therapyaimee

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8 days ago

Research on sexual diversity consistently shows that there is a wide range of consensual sexual interests and behaviors. What one person finds exciting, another may find completely unappealing, and neither person is automatically “wrong.”

Healthy sexual expression is less about having the right preferences and more about the how:

✔️ Is it consensual?
✔️ Is everyone able to freely say yes or no?
✔️ Is it safe and legal?
✔️ Is there honest communication?
✔️ Are boundaries respected?
✔️ Is everyone genuinely comfortable participating?

And here’s the other side of “don’t yuck someone else’s yum”:

You don’t owe anyone participation just because their preference is valid.

Your partner can have a fantasy you don’t share. You can have a desire they don’t share. You can say, “That’s not for me,” without shaming them, and they can hear “no” without taking it as a rejection of their worth. taken in Worth It counseling+consulting by @therapyaimee

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9 days ago

Saying porn can be used in a healthy way is not the same as saying all porn use is healthy.

Both things can be true.

For some people, pornography may be a consensual form of sexual exploration, fantasy, or entertainment that doesn’t interfere with their values, relationships, sex life, or daily functioning.

For others, porn use may become compulsive, conflict with their values, create secrecy or relationship problems, interfere with partnered sex, or become a way of coping with emotions they don’t know how to regulate otherwise.

The more useful questions are:

• Is it consensual and ethical?
• Is it aligned with your values?
• Do you feel in control of your choices?
• Is it interfering with intimacy, relationships, work, or daily life?
• Can you choose not to use it without significant distress?
• Is it enhancing your sexuality—or helping you avoid something?

Healthy sexuality rarely fits neatly into an all-or-nothing category. by @therapyaimee

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10 days ago

I love creating spaces where people can ask the questions they’ve been too embarrassed to ask, challenge the myths they’ve been taught, and learn practical, research-informed information without shame or judgment.

Whether I’m presenting to a room full of professionals, teaching a workshop, or having a conversation with a client, I bring the same approach: curiosity, compassion, evidence-based education, and a whole lot of openness. taken in Utah by @therapyaimee

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11 days ago

Teaching & learning with some of the best at @evolution_of_women today. taken in Utah by @therapyaimee

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14 days ago

3 ghosts that might be haunting your relationship… and you don’t even realize it.

Some relationship patterns don’t exactly announce themselves. They just… linger. 👻

1. The Ghost of Past Relationships
Old betrayals, heartbreak, or unhealthy relationship dynamics can follow you into a new relationship, even when your current partner hasn’t done anything wrong.

2. The Ghost of Your Childhood
The way you learned love, conflict, communication, and safety growing up can quietly shape how you show up with your partner today. Sometimes what feels like “just how I am” is actually something you learned a long time ago.

3. The Ghost of Unspoken Resentment
The little things you keep swallowing. The conversations you keep avoiding. The needs you hope your partner will somehow notice. Eventually, what goes unsaid can start taking up a LOT of space.

The good news?
You don’t have to keep letting old ghosts run your relationship.

Sometimes you just need a little help figuring out what’s haunting you, and what you actually want to do about it. taken in Worth It counseling+consulting by @therapyaimee

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15 days ago