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Slow Parenting | UK Mum

@theslowkettle

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Choosing slow. Choosing present. Screens off 🫖
A honest diary of slow living & screen free parenting
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#theslowkettle

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I think there’s so much pressure now to be this endlessly available, fully present mum who is always happy to get on the floor and play.

And I do love playing with my boys. I genuinely think it matters. But I also think we’ve made motherhood harder by convincing ourselves that every spare moment has to become some lovely little connection opportunity.

Play is one of those things I can feel guilty about so quickly. Did I play enough today? Was I too quick to say no? Should I have just stopped what I was doing and joined in?

And then you get that horrible thought of, one day they won’t ask me anymore.

It can turn something that should be really normal and lovely into something you suddenly feel like you’re getting right or wrong all the time.

That’s really what this carousel is about for me. Not playing less, because I don’t want that. Just taking some of the pressure and guilt out of those moments when I don’t feel like it.

I think sometimes it’s worth noticing whether we actually want to say yes… or whether we’re just scared of feeling like a bad mum if we don’t. taken in Biggleswade by @theslowkettle

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18 days ago

Being a first-time mum is such a learning curve. There are so many things I look back on now and think, ohhh… that’s what was happening.

When my now first born was around 2, I used to step in so quickly whenever something felt hard for him. 🙈

Not always because he actually needed my help, but because I found it so hard to just watch him struggle. The whining, the “I CAN’T DO IT!”, the getting cross and frustrated… honestly, I just wanted it to stop because it triggered me. 🤯

The big realisation for me was that struggling a little isn’t a bad thing. That’s often the bit where they’re actually learning. Figuring it out, trying again, getting it wrong, getting frustrated and eventually doing it themselves.

So I started doing three things:

1️⃣ I took a deep breath when I felt myself wanting to jump in. Just enough to stop myself reacting straight away.

2️⃣ I changed what I said. Instead of rushing to help, I’d say, “You can’t do it yet. That’s why we keep practising.”

3️⃣ I made sure he knew I was still there. “If you need me to help, I’m here.”

That changed a lot for me, because I stopped treating every bit of frustration like a sign that I needed to step in.

Sometimes the best thing I could do was just stay nearby, let him be annoyed for a minute, and give him the chance to work out what came next. ❤️ taken in London, United Kingdom by @theslowkettle

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a month ago

I think the strangest part about looking back at my 20s is that I had so much more time then, and somehow I still always felt behind.

I had weekends that were completely mine, less responsibility, more freedom… and I still spent so much of it worrying about whether I was doing enough with my life. Building the right career, earning enough, getting somewhere.

Now I look back and think: I could have just lived a little more. Travelled more. Been less afraid of “wasting time”.

Funny how motherhood makes you realise time was never the thing you were short of. 🤍 taken in Biggleswade by @theslowkettle

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a month ago

Gentle parenting is easy to talk about when everyone’s calm 😅 It’s the harder moments that test me. These are 5 sentences I found myself using a lot this week:

1️⃣ "I don't like what you did, but there is nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you."

I used this when he behaved badly. Then gave the consequence without withdrawing affection.

2️⃣ “You're really angry. Anger is allowed. Hurting isn't.”

I used this when he was furious. I blocked hitting but accepted the emotion.

3️⃣ “I want to hear you. I can't understand while you're screaming. Try again when your voice is ready.”

This happens quite often with him, when he is tired, hungry or has a strong emotion. I used this when he was screaming words at me. I tried to stay available instead of entering a shouting competition.

4️⃣ “You can't do it yet. Which bit is difficult?”

I used this when he says "I can't do it". I only help with the part he cannot manage.

5️⃣ “You're disappointed because you wanted to win.”

He is super competitive and gets very frustrated when he loses a game so I use this a lot. I do not deliberately let him win every time.

I’m always curious what other mums say in those moments too. What’s one sentence you use all the time? taken in Biggleswade by @theslowkettle

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2 months ago

I love our slow mornings, even the messy ones.

I think sometimes we confuse slow with peaceful — and with two young boys, those are definitely not the same thing. 😂

But I wouldn’t trade those extra few hours together before nursery for anything.❤️ taken in Biggleswade by @theslowkettle

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2 months ago

When Marco (now 4) grew out of his baby clothes, I didn’t find it this hard.

We knew we wanted another baby one day, so it didn’t really feel like goodbye. The clothes were just being packed away, waiting for someone else to wear them.

But this time, I’m selling them.

And somehow that makes it all feel very final. 🥺

No more staring at two pink lines. No more seeing our baby for the first time on a tiny scan screen. No more wondering day and night whether it’s a boy or a girl. No more growing tummy, tiny flutters, or lying still just to feel one more kick.

No more newborn clothes waiting in a drawer.

I know we’re ready for the next chapter. I love watching my boys grow, and I wouldn’t want to go backwards.

But folding up these tiny clothes feels like quietly closing the door on a whole part of my life.

I didn’t realise selling baby clothes could hurt this much. 🤍 taken in Biggleswade by @theslowkettle

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2 months ago

1 year old is a whole vibe 😅 one second they're giving cuddles, the next they've trashed the cupboards. Chaotic, hilarious, and going way too fast.

Tell me I'm not alone 👇

#toddlerlife #1yearold #mumlife #momsoﬁnstagram #screenfreeparenting taken in London, United Kingdom by @theslowkettle

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3 months ago

This is the part of motherhood no one prepares you for: trying to hold onto something that's already slipping away. ❤️🥺

Tag a mum who needs this today.

#slowliving #screenfreeparenting #motherhoodmoments taken in Biggleswade by @theslowkettle

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3 months ago

Sometimes the hardest part of motherhood isn’t knowing what would help. It’s finding the energy to make it happen. ❤️

This is for the days when even a simple outing feels like a lot.

Mums, what helps you get everyone out of the house when you really don’t feel like it?

tired mum, outdoor play, getting outside with kids, slow motherhood, realistic motherhood taken in Biggleswade by @theslowkettle

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3 months ago

Maybe our children don't need to become quieter.
Maybe the world just needs to make a little more room for childhood. 🤍

Do you agree, or do you see it differently?

#slowparenting #screenfreeparenting #childhood #motherhood #intentionalparenting taken in Biggleswade by @theslowkettle

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3 months ago

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what it actually means to be rich.

I still have dreams. Goals. Things I want to build.

But moments like this remind me that I'm already living a life I never want to take for granted. 🤍

Mums, when the days feel long, I hope you remember that these ordinary moments are quietly becoming your favourite memories.❤️

#slowmotherhood #intentionalparenting #familylife #motherhood #raisingboys taken in Biggleswade by @theslowkettle

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3 months ago

I used to get such bad mum FOMO seeing other mums take their children everywhere.

Farm parks, soft plays, museums, day trips, beautiful activities.

And there we were, a lot of the time, at home. Or at the local park. Or in the garden while I drank my coffee and watched them make a mess ☕️

For a long time, I thought that meant I wasn’t doing enough.

But slow living is teaching me that childhood does not have to be one big planned experience.

It is okay not to keep up with the Kardashians, mum version 😅

The local park counts.
The garden counts.
A slow afternoon outside counts.
Boredom counts too.

Maybe children don’t always need a bigger day.

Maybe they just need space, time, fresh air, and a mum who is learning not to rush in and turn every moment into something more 🌿

Do you ever feel this pressure too?

#slowparenting #slowliving #slowmotherhood #simplechildhood #childhoodunplugged taken in Biggleswade by @theslowkettle

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3 months ago