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Courtney

@thevillainediit

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Villain in their story, hero in mine🗡️
🖤For the strong-willed women who never fit the narrative
😈Mindset, methodology & BTS from a lifelong villain

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1. Whoever said it to you matters because I feel like it’s always the person who’s been running the table for twenty years. You disagreed one time and suddenly you’re the problem.

2. I know you’re doing it. You’re going back through every sentence like you’re looking for the exact moment you ruined Thanksgiving. Did you say anything you don’t actually believe? No? Then you’re not reflecting, you’re just building their case for them.

3. Can we talk about Uncle Rick though?
He spent 25 minutes on gas prices and nobody said a word. “Oh, that’s just how he is.” So what do you do? Say one thing about yourself. What happens? You’re difficult. Like...make it make sense.

4. If you were actually mean, fine, own it. Once. Short. No groveling. But if you were just inconvenient? There’s nothing to fix. You’re allowed to be a person with opinions at a table. Wild concept, I know.

5.You don’t have to go next time.
Or you can go, eat the bread, and leave early. I mean, it’s an invitation, not a court date. Show up as the villain if you want. She’s usually having a better time anyway. by @thevillainediit

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2 days ago

Two years ago I started a journey to find my sense of belonging…something I’ve struggled with as a child.

We moved about every six months when I was a kid, until about age 8 where we moved permanently to southern WV.

Unfortunately I wasn’t accepted by my peers and spent most of my childhood alone.

This, along with a lack of connection and sense of home from my mom, created this belonging wound (which I found out years later is also written in my birth chart).

I committed myself to healing this wound a couple years ago, and through that process learned SO MUCH. Healed so much.

I don’t think it’s a journey that’s over, but I’m grateful for all of the knowledge and understanding I have now. Of myself!

A disconnection from others is a cut. But a disconnection from yourself is a scar.

Belonging to yourself is the ultimate act of authenticity and living as your best self💜 by @thevillainediit

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3 days ago

Knowing the difference between people who care for you and people who co-sign you is life changing. Proud to be someone who doesn’t confuse enabling for empathy🖤 Also thankful for people in my life who don’t confuse them either…people like this have helped me get where I’m going…never keeping me stuck by telling me it’s okay when it’s not or lying to me to make me feel good. YOU THE REAL ONES🖤🖤🖤 by @thevillainediit

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4 days ago

Complete and total self-acceptance without fear of being bad or wrong, or misunderstood, or not accepted ironically only came when I got sick.

I turned 30…I started planning my wedding…I was diagnosed with 2 autoimmune diseases…my eye bulged from my head, I lost a bunch of hair and gained a bunch of weight…and I was pissed.

Actually, it all may have started sooner because you know…the butterfly effect…

I was pissed off as a teenager, grew into an angry young adult, was told I was bad for being angry…learned to stuff it all down and be more presentable to others…aaaand then got autoimmune which we know is partially due to stuck emotions.

So I got sick and I got mad again. But this time instead of raging at the world and I took a look around at my environment, I deep dived within, and I figured out what was going to PISS ME OFF so bad.

From there, I started making changes. Some were external-rid myself of toxic relationships, change my diet, set personal health goals.

Some were more internal-allow myself to be misunderstood, don’t invalidate my own feelings, find a home within myself.

Years and years later I am the most confident, authentic and at ease version of myself I’ve ever been. But I know it was all her.

That woman who refused to accept and identity of illness. Who cried and raged and problem solved. Who dedicated herself to learning and change. Who did all the hard things that were really really hard and made her feel lost but set me up to succeed.

It took me about 4 years, which seems like a long time, but the time will pass either way. In thankful for all of the hardship she endured, so that I don’t have to🤍 by @thevillainediit

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5 days ago

How often do you think anyone spends not only trying to be right in their mind, but also making something right?

A perk of being assertive and having good boundaries is that in the moment you actually do say what needs to be said…you do stick up for yourself…which means you have more mental space to reflect in other areas when you’re alone or in silence.

A strength of mine is being able to see where I was wrong and take accountability, but if I surround myself with people who can’t or don’t do this, in that environment is just isolates me to them as a problem.

People confuse perfection as being good, when really making mistakes you can own is the best version of you. Because it means you tried something, and owned something.

Petition for accountability showers every Monday!! by @thevillainediit

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6 days ago

by @thevillainediit

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10 days ago

Being a strong woman doesn’t mean you’re immune to caring what people think about you.

You can have a backbone, a big mouth, strong opinions, and absolutely no problem saying no…and still find yourself questioning whether you’re the problem when someone doesn’t like your choices.

That’s the stuff I like talking about.

The Villain Edit is for women who have spent enough time being misunderstood, called difficult, or made to feel like the bad guy for simply being themselves.

We’re not here to become nicer, quieter, or easier to deal with. We’re here to figure out how to stay true to ourselves without losing our kindness in the process.

And sometimes that means being perfectly fine with playing the villain in someone else’s story.

I’ve created a Patreon for women who want to take these conversations beyond Instagram. We’re talking self-trust, people pleasing, boundaries, relationships, and what it actually looks like to belong to yourself.

Go to the link in my bio or Comment VILLAIN and I’ll send you the link. 🖤 by @thevillainediit

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10 days ago

&& while we’re in the topic…I absolutely understand and totally AGREE with her response to that influencer yelling and asking her out… she is a human being, and a woman, and most aren’t smitten by being screamed at through a fence. I hope she never ever loses her grit by @thevillainediit

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11 days ago

The beauty of knowing yourself so truly is that no one else’s judgements or perceptions of you matter.

I don’t need you to know me-cause I know me.
I don’t need you to understand where I’m coming from cause I understand where I’m coming from.
I don’t need you to be okay with my choices cause I’m okay with them.

Identity is power. Belonging to yourself is power. by @thevillainediit

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12 days ago

Call me if you want a backbone, someone to hold you accountable, or a cheerleader for your strong opinions…then it’s all me by @thevillainediit

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13 days ago

If you’re a woman who doesn’t play “nice”, is more of a lone wolf, DGAF about what people think, and is ok being the villain in someone else’s story…welcome💜 by @thevillainediit

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18 days ago

When I was younger I never ever felt like I belonged…I always felt like I was the odd man out, that things were always harder for me, that I was flawed or something was wrong with me.

Having a belonging wound is something that’s common but not talked about…the feeling that for some reason you never got the memo that everyone else was born with.

Like walking into a party wearing a costume.

But I’ve done a lotttto of work in this area, and these are the four things I’d go back and tell my younger self about not fitting in. They’re the key to your authenticity & self-acceptance!! by @thevillainediit

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18 days ago