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This Dad 🇲🇾 Fatherhood, Family & Money

@thisdad.my

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Girl dad 🇲🇾 Malaysia
fatherhood | family | money | life
real thoughts. honest decisions
👇🏻fast guides for busy parents

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this is my family's real number. RM6,500 a month for two kids.

and it still excludes the hidden costs and expenses that come with every decision.

every household carries it differently.

we don't have our parents nearby or the flexibility to help with the kids. so, hiring the helper was the only way both of us can focus on working and still have time left for the kids when we're home.

there's definitely a trade off, not gonna lie. we've decided to put off travelling for awhile and cut certain lifestyle expenses.

i'm sharing my numbers so you have a realistic point of reference to gauge your own against.

🍃follow along @thisdad.my if you're interested in honest thoughts, family decisions and relatable moments from a dad 🤓

#raisingkids #parentingmalaysia #householdexpense #malaysia #familydecisions by @thisdad.my

Financial honesty matters more than tracking every ringgit.

My wife and I don't share a joint account or watch each other's income. But what holds it together is being open about money, because without that honesty, cracks start to show in any relationship.

The same goes for our kids, from their daily costs to their future savings. We plan it together, out in the open.

We also discuss the big expenses but we're free to buy what we want as long as they are a reasonable purchase.

You don't need the same setup as everyone else. You just need to talk about money as a couple and more importantly, to align lifestyle and spending habits.

💲Follow for more real money and family decisions 🥳

#financialhonesty #moneyinmarriage #couplefinances #personalfinance #householdbudget by @thisdad.my

I used to not track where my money went until I decided that things need to change. So, I started with small changes and made it a habit.

I didn't do the dramatic thing. quit coffee, cancel everything, and live on rice. ☕

latte became americano. I started hanging out with friends on selective occasions and intentionally. I stopped saying yes to every outing.

it wasn't easy, but over time i adapted or got used to it. I realised the small habits saved me money and made me look at things differently.

So, if you're thinking the same, start today with something small. Try it across a week or two and you'll notice the difference.

Follow along @thisdad.my if you like family and money decisions from a dad's perspective 🤓

#smallhabits #parentingmalaysia #personalfinance #moneyhabits #saving by @thisdad.my

I've been paying a little more than my home loan instalment for years.

Nothing big, just whenever there's spare, or a bit more than what's due that month.

The slides explain the mechanics. What I didn't put in there is how slow and boring it actually was to build up. No lump sum, no plan.

Just small amounts, again and again, for the past 9 years, until it quietly became RM67,000 sitting in the loan.

This excess amount sits in the loan account and does two jobs for me. It's an additional emergency fund buffer and at the same time, helps me reduce my loan interest.

If your home loan is the flexi type, this is worth a look. 🏠

Follow along @thisdad.my for more family and money decisions 🙂

⚠️ this isn't a financial advice. I'm sharing from my own perspective and remember to do your own research first.

#personalfinance #malaysia #housingloan #money #financialliteracy by @thisdad.my

my parents raised me a certain way.

it wasn't bad. i turned out okay, and a lot of what they did came from love, even when it didn't look like it at the time.

but i know i want to raise mine differently.

not because they got it wrong. just because i want to.

i think most of us are doing the same thing now.
we explain instead of just saying because i said so. we ask if they're okay before we look at what broke.

not because our parents were careless. it's was a different time, they were surviving and parenting for the first time too.

i don't always get it right either. some days the easy reflex wins and i sound exactly like them. but I'm also a first time parent too. 😀

Follow along @thisdad.my for more honest thoughts on fatherhood, and relatable money and family decisions.

#fatherhood #Malaysia #parentingmalaysia #millenialparenting #raisingkids by @thisdad.my

It was difficult for me to decide which enrichment class was suitable for her in the beginning.

Every class felt like it would benefit her one way or another.

Swimming
Music
Dancing
Right brain training

All of it looked worth doing.

So i kept signing her up, and slowly it became too many classes and less time at home to just let her play.

Now i just ask what each one is actually doing for her. 3 classes now, each for a different reason.

She has recently just stopped her music class because she didn't enjoy it, so I might switch to an art class as she enjoys drawing.

If you're stuck deciding on enrichment classes for your kid, save this for when you're signing up.

Follow along @thisdad.my, a malaysian dad figuring out money, kids, and sharing my family's decision.

#parenting #raisingkids #malaysia #enrichmentclass #parentingmalaysia by @thisdad.my

the mental load is real. i just couldn't see it.

helping only when she asked still left her carrying all of it.

then I started small and progressed from there. I am not taking credit for it and neither shouting that I've done my part. it's always a shared responsibility from the start that I have somehow neglected.111²1
I started with making sure the diaper bag is always ready and finished items are repacked before heading out.

the dates i used to forget. vaccinations, medicine running low. now I write them in my phone instead of her remembering everything.

i have to admit, some things she still does it better than me. but I learn from there, and not pass it back to her.

it's still a work in progress 🙃

share this if you think your partner needs to know.

follow along @thisdad.my as I share more relatable family decisions and navigating this fatherhood life. ✌🏻

#mentalload #motherhood #fatherhood #malaysia #parentingmalaysia by @thisdad.my

I'm writing this as a reminder to self. 🥺

I would admit myself first that I tend to prioritise work and money alot, because to me, that was what it meant to be a provider for the family.

It took me longer than I'd like to admit to see what it was costing. I was drained by the time I'm home & continued with work after a quick dinner. My wife told me she was feeling distanced and our daughter no longer shares her day with me.

I kept giving the reason that it was temporary.

After this deal.
After this promotion.
After things settled.

They never settled. It was always the next deal after. Or the next chase.

I'm not writing this because I've fixed it. I'm still learning to balance and started choosing differently.

If you're a dad navigating this too, you're not alone.

💌 Follow along @thisdad.my so you don't walk this fatherhood journey alone 👊🏻

#fatherhoodjourney #parentingmalaysia #malaysian #family #dadlife by @thisdad.my

To every wife who's ever wondered,
"What on earth is taking him so long?" 🚽

Honestly...

Sometimes nothing. 😅

We're likely just sitting there enjoying one of the few places where nobody needs us for a minute.

Not our proudest habit.

But if this made you think of your husband, send it to him and see if he admits to any one of it 😋

Follow along @thisdad.my if you're interested in honest thoughts, family life decisions and relatable moments from a dad 🤓

#malaysiandad #malaysia #quiettimes #husbandwife #fatherhood❤️ by @thisdad.my

☑️ Save this so you can look back at it again to understand your bill.
💌 Share it with someone you think might want to know.

I normally try to manage my bill within the range of RM150 to RM200, but this month, the bill was at its highest .. almost RM470.

So, it got me reading the composition of the billing & it's charges. I'm on the Time of Use (TOU) scheme where the rates are split into Peak & Off Peak timing.

Breaking it down, the biggest draw is the aircond, 2 running during the off peak timing throughout the night for the 2 kids. It used to be just one.

Understanding how the charges work may help to adjust the consumption & bring down the bill.

#household
#malaysian #tnb #utilitybills
#parentingmalaysia by @thisdad.my

When i was a kid, breaking something meant getting scolded. So i learned to hide it from my parents.

I'm raising my daughter to not hide, at least from me. When something breaks, i make sure she's okay before anything else.

For you it might look different.

Yours might throw the tantrums only at home, or save every meltdown for the moment you walk in.

Same thing underneath.

A kid who feels safe with you isn't the one who behaves. It's the one who's real with you.

Follow along @thisdad.my if this is the kind of dad you're trying to be too. 🤍

#fatherhood #raisingkids #parentingmalaysia #parenting #dadmoments by @thisdad.my

👋🏻 Hi.

If you stumbled on this page, here's a bit about me and why I started it.

🍼 DI/2K
🍼 Mid 30s & work in finance 💵
🍼 2 girls under 5 👧🏻👶🏻

I hope this becomes the kind of page I wish I'd found earlier.

☑️ dads don't navigate fatherhood alone
☑️ family life feels relatable - raising kids, home, money
☑️ decisions feel less overwhelming

We don't hear enough of it from a dad's side and oftentimes, we tank this fatherhood journey quietly.

So, I decided to write and share my thoughts from a dad's perspective, hoping another dad feels a little less alone. 😮‍💨

I don't have everything figured out.

But I can share what I've learned, the mistakes, and how I worked through them.

Follow along if you're a dad (or mum) figuring this out too & let's connect.🤓

#dadlife #raisingkids #fatherdaughterlove❤️ #parentingmalaysia #fatherhoodjourney by @thisdad.my