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Todd Creager, LCSW, LMFT

@todd_creager

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Expert relationship, marriage & sex therapist in Orange County. ❤️Making the World Safe for Love! Helping couples survive & THRIVE after infidelity.

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Willpower is a terrible recovery plan.

You install the blocker. You make the promise, sometimes to your partner. Then a hard day comes, and the part of you that reaches for porn moves faster than any promise can hold.

And when you do manage to stop, something else often takes its place. Different form, same function. It’s still a way out of feeling the pain.

In IFS, we call the part doing this a firefighter. There are no bad parts here. That firefighter is protecting you the fastest way it knows how.

Underneath it is what we call an exile, a younger part of you still carrying pain it never got help with. Recovery that holds comes from finding that part and asking what it’s been carrying all this time.

Nothing about this makes you a bad person. It means part of you has been hurting for a long time.

Save this for the next time you feel the pull. by @todd_creager

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4 days ago

There are 3 personality traits you need to know about.

And if you have them, there may be an increased risk of being cheated on:

1️⃣ You regulate everyone else’s emotions — to the exclusion of yourself.
You take care of others, smooth things over, anticipate needs… but neglect your own.

2️⃣ You don’t expect or ask enough of other people.
You over-give, under-ask, and end up emotionally malnourished.

3️⃣ You’re dependable and reliable — and assume everyone else operates the way you do.
But not everyone shares your integrity.

If this resonates, it’s not about blame. It’s about awareness.

Healthy relationships require reciprocity — not self-abandonment.

Get my Infidelity First Aid Kit Master Class for only $47!

Commnt “CHEATER” and I’ll DM you the link!

#healingfrominfidelity #traumatherapist #infidelity #personalitytypes #marriagetherapist taken in Los Angeles, California by @todd_creager

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8 months ago

The NUMBER 1 thing I’ve learned as a marriage and sex therapist for 43 years ➡️

People CAN change for the better!!!

They can learn how to be the best version of themselves.

They can choose to be on a path of emotional maturity and spiritual evolution.

They can learn how to communicate better

And they can increase their capacity to give and receive love throughout their entire lives!

💥 I am looking forward to sharing tips with you from everything I’ve learned in these last 43 years

💥 MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW for marriage advice, tips for healing from infidelity and trauma, and more!

#relationshipadvice #relationshipgoals #healingfrominfidelity #effectivecommunication #traumatherapist taken in Los Angeles, California by @todd_creager

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8 months ago

Do any of these reasons resonate with your experience?

Drop a comment below and let me know! ⬇️

Don’t forget to FOLLOW for more tips on healing from infidelity ❤️‍🩹

#traumatherapist #relationshipadvice #marriagetherapist #healingfromtrauma #healingfrominfidelity taken in Los Angeles, California by @todd_creager

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8 months ago

Hi, I’m Todd Creager, a trauma-informed marriage and sex therapist of 43 years.

If you are stuck in a trauma loop, here are three things I’d tell you to do ➡️

1) share your story and pain with someone and don’t isolate yourself.

2) find yourself a good trauma therapist who does EMDR.

3) do something that could pull you into the present moment, such as mindful breathing, walking in nature or some sort of playing that you enjoy

➡️ Follow for more trauma healing and relationship tips, and send 📥 to a friend who needs to hear this!

*This is for educational purposes only
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#traumaheal #traumaloop #relationshiptherapist #traumatherapist #healingfrominfidelity taken in Los Angeles, California by @todd_creager

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8 months ago

Hi 👋🏼 I’m Todd Creager, a marriage and sex therapist of over 40 years

I worked hard so that I could get into medical school

When I didn’t, I was surprised at the relief I felt. My soul needed to go down a different path.

I ended up attending USC School of Social Work (Go Trojans!), and specialized in couples, sexuality, and healing from infidelity.

If you are in need of guidance on your journey to heal from infidelity, comment “HEAL” to get access to my 90 minute webinar “The Infidelity First Aid Kit” for only $97! Meditations are included at no extra cost!

It is time to start healing, today ❤️‍🩹

#healingfrominfidelity #relationshipcoach #marriagetherapist #traumatherapist #traumahealing taken in Los Angeles, California by @todd_creager

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8 months ago

If you’re healing from infidelity, hear this—because no one told you soon enough:

• It wasn’t your fault.
Not your body. Not your libido. Not your “emotional unavailability.” Cheating is a choice, not a reaction.

• It was never about you.
Infidelity is about their coping, entitlement, avoidance, or unresolved wounds—not your worth.

• And yes—cheaters can stop cheating.
But only if they’re willing to face themselves, do the work, and give up the story that excuses their behavior. Love alone doesn’t heal this. Accountability does.

Healing from betrayal isn’t about becoming “better” so it never happens again.
It’s about remembering who you were before someone made you doubt yourself.

If this spoke to you, save it—and follow for more tips on healing from infidelity.
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#relationshipadvice #healthyrelationships #infidelity #marriagetherapist #healingfrominfidelity taken in Los Angeles, California by @todd_creager

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8 months ago

Don’t face challenges alone.

Build a strong support network of friends, family, or support groups. Connecting with others can provide emotional backing and help you navigate difficult times. by @todd_creager

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10 months ago

Why It's Important: Professional help can provide valuable guidance and tools for healing after infidelity.

Tip: Consider therapy as a resource for both partners to heal and grow stronger together. by @todd_creager

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10 months ago

Work together to create a realistic plan for recovery, including potential setbacks. Planning helps manage expectations and reduces anxiety about the future. by @todd_creager

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10 months ago

Have you ever wondered why some people are irresistibly drawn to high-risk behaviors or substances that give them a rush? What if the answer lies deeper than just a desire for excitement?

Surround yourself with positivity! Build a support network of friends, family, and professionals. Their encouragement will make you stronger on your journey to overcome addiction. 🌟

#SupportNetwork #OvercomingAddiction by @todd_creager

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10 months ago

Why It's Important: Feeling emotionally safe with your partner is essential for a healthy relationship.

How to Apply: Create a 'safe word' that either of you can use when feeling overwhelmed or unsafe in a conversation, signaling a need to pause and regroup. by @todd_creager

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10 months ago