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Tommy Stefanek

@tommystefanek

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director @urbanelectricco💡
married to @pormynoo 🌈
RIP Godzilla 🐕 ♥️ dad to Gaga & Liza
GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE 🎥
from Tucson, AZ 🌵 🏠 Portland, OR 🌧️

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One of the things I cherish most about being part of this incredible design industry is the people it has brought into my life.

What a gift to do something I love and to be surrounded by such extraordinary human beings along the way. The creativity, the laughter, the kindness, the friendships… it’s what makes this industry so special to me.

At the end of the day, it’s not just about the beautiful things we create, but the beautiful connections we make.

And goodness knows, the world could use a little more friendship, kindness, and love right now. ♥️

Feeling especially grateful for all of it. xoxo taken in San Francisco, California by @tommystefanek

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4 days ago

Pinbury…

It’s my first time here without Dave.

This house in the Cotswolds was so thoughtfully brought back to life by the team at Robert Kime, with Orlando at the helm. Kime once said, “I want my rooms to be lived in, not looked at.” After spending time here, I understand exactly what he meant. Nothing feels precious or untouchable. Every room seems to ask something simple of you… sit down. Pick up a book. Have a coffee. Pour a Negroni. Talk a little longer. Don’t rush off.

And maybe that’s what I’m feeling most here… the desire to stay awhile.

Life feels incredibly fleeting right now. And precious.

I’ve been thinking so much about Dave and my Mom. Two people I loved enormously, gone far too close together. Being here, in a place Dave loved so much, reminds me how important it is to savor this.

Every room. Every meal. Every laugh. Every conversation. Every person we love.

Jennifer, thank you for opening this beautiful home to all of us and bringing us together. Your strength and beauty through all of this are unmatched. I hope you know how much it meant to be here with you. ♥️

And to our friends who took the time to come out here for the weekend… thank you. You brought something this house deserved to hear again: new laughter. New stories around the table. Conversations and dancing that went on a little longer than planned. More life being lived within these old walls.

Maybe Robert Kime had it exactly right. A house like this isn’t meant simply to be looked at. It’s meant to be lived in.

And perhaps the same is true of this beautiful, fleeting life.

Stay awhile when you can. 🌈 taken in The Cotswolds , England by @tommystefanek

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15 days ago

I met this guy when he was 33… and today he is 55. How the hell did that happen?! ♥️

What a damn adventure we have had.

Norman has been my steadfast rock through all of it. He is ridiculously talented, still one of the most brilliant performers I’ve ever known, the greatest dog dad Gaga and Liza could ask for, and the person I am so incredibly lucky to come home to.

It is also not lost on me that one of Norman’s greatest wishes for me is that I spend LESS time on social media… so naturally I’m celebrating his birthday with an Instagram post. 😂

22 years later, there is still no one I’d rather be on this crazy ride with.

Happy 55th birthday, Norman. I love you. ♥️ by @tommystefanek

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24 days ago

September 11 holds so many memories for me.

25 years ago, I was a young New Yorker. Before that morning, the Twin Towers were literally my compass. More nights than I care to admit, I’d stumble out of a bar or club downtown, look up, find those towers and know which way was home.

Then, on 9/11/2001, my sister Janna and I stood on our balcony and watched them fall.

What happened was unspeakably evil. But what I witnessed afterward has stayed with me too: a city choosing kindness. Strangers helping strangers. People holding subway doors. New Yorkers looking after one another.

I know that experience wasn’t universal, especially for Muslim, Arab, South Asian and other brown New Yorkers who faced hatred afterward. But I saw how much humanity we are capable of in our darkest moments.

And I will forever be grateful I had my sister beside me. I love you, Janna.

Nine years later, Norman and I decided September 11 needed a new memory. On 9/11/2010, we adopted Godzilla, the love of our lives. 16 years ago today he came home, and though we lost him in 2024, we miss that beautiful boy every day.

This date also brings me back to Come From Away, my friend Chad, and the people of Gander, Newfoundland… ordinary people who met tragedy with extraordinary kindness.

And on 9/11/2019, I left for the UK with my beloved mom, Donna, on the trip of a lifetime, where she finally stood at the ruins of her family’s castle.

Today marks three months since her beautiful spirit left this world.

So yes, September 11 is a hard day.

But maybe Love Actually had it right:

Look for the love.

In a sister beside you.
In strangers helping strangers.
In a rescue dog who changes your life.
In a town opening its homes.
In taking your mom somewhere she dreamed of seeing.

The Towers that once helped me find my way home are gone.

25 years later, I still believe love can be our compass. ♥️ by @tommystefanek

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a month ago

And just like that, summer begins to fade into fall…

One beautiful week on the Oregon Coast with Norman, Gaga and Liza. Time to slow down, breathe deeply, wander a little and remember how good it feels to simply be.

My happy place. My reset button. The place that fills my soul back up. 🌊♥️🐾

And to the very special friends who made this week possible ~ thank you for knowing exactly what my heart needed. Your kindness and generosity meant more than I could ever say.

Sometimes you just need to go where your heart feels lighter... taken in Cannon Beach, Oregon by @tommystefanek

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a month ago

“We don’t cry because we knew them, we cry because they helped us know ourselves.”

This beautiful photo of Dolly hangs in the powder room at my friends Sam and Jason’s house, and every time I see it, it brings me joy. There was just something about Dolly.

The brilliant podcast Dolly Parton’s America essentially asked: In a country that disagrees about everything, how is it that everyone agrees on Dolly?

Maybe because she never told us how to live. She simply showed us.

She was funny without being cruel. Strong without making others feel small. Completely herself while making room for everyone else to be themselves, too. In a time when our country feels so angry and divided, we desperately need more of that.

Dolly also makes me think about my Mom.

They were both women of faith who never used that faith as a weapon or a measuring stick for somebody else’s life. They just lived it.

My Mom showed me what being a Christian could look like through kindness, compassion and never judging others. I saw the same in Dolly. Their faith seemed to say: I know who I am and what I believe, and there’s still room at my table for you.

Maybe that’s part of why a little gay kid like me loved Dolly so much.

And then there was Steel Magnolias. GOLD.

So many gay kids loved that movie. Underneath all that humor was friendship, community and acceptance. And today I realized little Tommy actually grew up in his own Steel Magnolias, surrounded by my amazing Mom and three smart, fierce, beautiful sisters.

Maybe Dolly helped me recognize it.

That’s what great artists do. They become woven into our lives and help us understand ourselves.

Dolly did that for millions of us.

She made America kinder, funnier, more accepting and a hell of a lot more sparkly.

Thank you, Dolly. You helped us know ourselves.

And we will always love you. ❤️ by @tommystefanek

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2 months ago

How do you want to Live?

some random snaps from August… by @tommystefanek

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2 months ago

Proud Uncle Alert… ❤️🍺

I just had the best 48 hours in Austin, Texas celebrating the two-year anniversary of my nephew Anthony’s business, Ant’s Beer Cave ... an amazing bottle shop, pickleball courts, food trucks and gathering place that has quickly become the place to be in Austin.

But as proud as I am of what Anthony has built, I’m even more proud of how he built it.

This wasn’t something that happened overnight. Anthony dreamed about Ant’s Beer Cave for nearly a decade. He worked, saved, planned, hustled and eventually had the courage to take a chance on himself and turn that dream into a reality. Watching him walk around this incredible place, he created greeting customers, talking with his team, and seeing a community genuinely enjoying something that once existed only in his imagination ~ was pretty damn special for this uncle.

My mom ~ Anthony’s grandmother, Donna Joy had an enormous influence on the man he became. Anthony writes that she taught him to approach every situation with compassion and to always do things the right way. He even says she is the reason Ant’s Beer Cave exists.

So, for the two-year anniversary, Anthony collaborated with his neighbors at Vacancy Brewing to create a new beer in her honor:

Joy Hazy IPA

The sign at Ant’s describes it as “soft, bright and full of warmth, just like she was.”

Needless to say, I LOVED IT ❤️

Losing my mom this summer has left a hole in our family that will never completely go away. But standing there in Austin, seeing her photograph, reading those words, drinking a beer bearing her name, and looking around at this incredible place her grandson built… I was reminded that the people we love continue to live through us ~ through the lessons they taught us, the values they gave us, and what we choose to build with them.

Anthony, I could not be prouder of you.

Here’s to two incredible years of Ant’s Beer Cave, to many, many more to come ... and, of course, raise one for Joy. 🍻❤️

Love you, Ant
One very proud Uncle Tommy taken in Austin, Texas by @tommystefanek

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2 months ago

Legacy. Family. Love.

When I was younger, people would ask if I wanted to have kids. My answer was always the same...

“I already have them.”

Thanks to my three amazing sisters, I have been blessed with nine incredible nieces and nephews.

They’re all talented, smart, funny, and yes... ridiculously good-looking. But what makes me the proudest isn’t any of that. It’s that they are genuinely kind. They care about people. They show up for one another. They are the legacy of our family, and I couldn’t be prouder.

This weekend was so beautiful... and, if I’m honest, it was also incredibly hard.

My sweet Mama ~ the matriarch of our family should have been there. Almost two months have passed since we lost her, and there were so many moments when I instinctively looked for her. In the third photo you’ll see the seat we saved in her honor, a quiet reminder that although she couldn’t be there in person, her love was woven into every part of the day.

Grief is a strange companion. One moment I’m smiling from ear to ear, celebrating my nephew and his beautiful bride, and the next I have to look down, catch my breath, and let the tears come.

But that’s the miracle of family. Life keeps moving. Love keeps growing.

This fall, Vincent and Gillian will welcome a baby girl into the world, and I can’t help but think about the beautiful rhythm of it all. One generation leaves us far too soon, another begins, and somehow love never disappears... it simply finds a new place to live.

Congratulations, Vincent and Gillian. Thank you for reminding all of us that even in seasons of loss, there is still so much joy to celebrate.

“How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” — A.A. Milne taken in Tucson, Arizona by @tommystefanek

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3 months ago

Nantucket is never a bad idea… and because I’m not an influencer everyone on island loves me. 🤣😂 #iykyk

Thank you @markel.interiors for hosting the Urban Electric family… we had a blast and you are truly the hostess with the mostest! ♥️ And to @hadleykeller & @thevalelondon you are the best roomies. And @ralphlaurenhome for the hats!

Also Thank you @nantucketbydesign for another amazing Design Week! And @w_j_richards & @garymcbournie your dinner once again was perfection. Thank you @lulupowers for the divine cuisine and @ralphlaurenhome for the hats!

While this summer has been hard it has also been filled with so much joy & love… and I’ll continue to focus on those things moving forward.

♥️ taken in Nantucket, Massachusetts by @tommystefanek

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3 months ago

Some photos from Dave’s beautiful memorial. ♥️

Jennifer, Jack, and James wrote these words in the program:

“𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘳 𝘋𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺, 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘵; 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦; 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴.”

I can’t imagine a more fitting tribute… or a better way to carry Dave’s legacy forward. Those words will stay with me, and they’re exactly what I want to focus on every day.

Thank you to everyone who traveled to celebrate Dave’s life, and to everyone who has reached out with love and support over these past few weeks. The incredible outpouring of kindness is a testament to the extraordinary impact Dave Dawson had on so many lives. What a remarkable legacy to leave behind.

And to the @makers_alliance family ~ Thank You. Your love, your friendship, and your support have meant more than I can put into words.

This summer has been one of the hardest seasons of my life. Losing my mom, who made me who I am, and then losing Dave, who gave me purpose and forever changed the course of my life, has been a loss I never could have imagined.

But I also know how incredibly fortunate I am to be surrounded by people who have lifted me up with so much love.

So I’ll keep doing my best to honor them both… to live fully, be kind and generous, strive for excellence, and never stop being curious.

I have a feeling that’s exactly what Dave would have wanted. ♥️ taken in Charleston, South Carolina by @tommystefanek

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3 months ago

Happy Birthday to the one and only… my dear friend, my work wife, my constant cheerleader, and one of the greatest gifts life has given me… @missyhulsey. ❤️

Some people make your life brighter simply by being in it, and that’s Missy. For the past 12 years at @urbanelectricco, she’s been my biggest champion, my confidante, my ride-or-die, and the person who has believed in me even on the days I didn’t believe in myself.

She is kind beyond words, endlessly generous, fiercely loyal, and somehow always knows exactly how to make people feel seen, loved, and valued. She has a way of making everyone around her better, and I know without a doubt that I am a better person because she’s been by my side.

Missy, I hope you know how deeply you are loved ~ not just by me, but by everyone lucky enough to know you. You deserve every bit of joy, every celebration, and every beautiful thing this world has to offer.

So please… blow up her phone. Fill her comments with birthday love. Make sure she feels as celebrated today as she makes everyone else feel every single day.

Happy Birthday to one of the most extraordinary humans I know. I love you, my friend. ❤️🎉 by @tommystefanek

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3 months ago