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Transition account for @caffeinateddream
Follow me on my journey!!
💉 — 06/25/2020
🔪 — 01/05/2021
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2/11/21 ~ 231 days on T, 37 days post op

I feel like art.

I'm a little over a month post op now and I don't have much of an update. I feel so....right. My body is MINE and it's really nice. But it also feels... familiar. Maybe it's the fact that I wasn't able to have to proper time to adjust and process surgery (as soon as I had about half mobility back I launched myself into school and work), but it really just feels like this is how it's always been. I've already forgotten what it felt like to have a chest. This feels like an even mix of how it's always been and how it was always meant to be.

My moustache is coming in more and pretty evenly, other than being sprinkled with blond. My beard is not coming in as evenly 😅 but that's okay. I like the action of shaving my face. It feels comforting.

My voice is still dropping, but I'm learning that I still try to speak and sing as I would before starting T. I need to start being more mindful of speaking and singing more comfortably. I signed up for a month of Yousician pro or whatever to try seeing if that would help get myself comfortable with my voice. Not going super great, but it's ok. I'm at least singing more to myself again and pushing through the voice cracks. I'm going to keep my voice and it's only gonna get better.

I'm noticing more bottom growth, which is interesting. It doesn't hurt these days, but it's definitely a little bizarre and will take some adjusting.

As soon as I get the clear from my surgeon later this month, I'm going to start working out. I want to gain some muscle and broaden my shoulder (and slim my hips 💀). My doctor said that I should be able to bulk up pretty easily since because of how well I have adjusted to being on T and I'm very excited.

I'm also growing out my hair and playing with makeup because I'm loving playing with elements of different gender presentations and also because I miss my curly hair 😂

All in all, I am feeling so full of love for myself and have never felt so Beautiful. My trans body is beautiful and lovely and, most importantly, mine. by @transgothlizard
4
6 years ago
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it's been a while since I've updated!

I'm now just over 6months on T and several hour post top surgery!! I'm feeling great! mostly just sore and stiff, but the hydrocodone is taking most of the pain away.

As for T, I'm definitely noticing more bottom growth. and I'm vv hairy. I'm also crying easier?? odd. but I'm feeling good n free and loving myself.

I have never felt so connected to my body. it's a beautiful feeling. by @transgothlizard
4
6 years ago
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12/6/20 ~•~ 2:09pm

Hi! it's been a while!

I'm just a few days past 5 months on T. I am....so hairy. I knew it was gonna happen, but I didn't realize how much hair I was going to get. The other day I also realised how much voice has changed. I still have several more months before my voice settles, but I'm definitely going to start putting aside time to practice singing. I've been slacking and I can definitely tell 😅.

Fantastic news, though!! My top surgery consultation with Dr. Del Corral with MedStar is next Monday the 14th!! I'm so excited and nervous. I have no idea when he has availability for surgery, but I might be looking at beginning of Summer for surgery.

Also, with my dysphoria lessening, I'm feeling more comfortable actually playing with androgyny by using make up. I'm definitely intrigued by how that might develop as I continue my transition. I am a man, for sure, but I also want to be able to be fluid in presentation.

My name change process is almost complete as well. Now it's just a waiting game for when it finally gets signed by a judge. Once that finishes, I will also be submitting the paperwork to get my gender marker changed.

This year has been so wonderful for me in regards to transition. Honestly, I'm not sure I would've felt so comfortable moving so far forward with my transition if I had been working and physically attending school. We all gotta take the thorns with the roses, though, I suppose.

Here's to another year of progress 💞💖

Photos/Videos:
1. Today (5mo on T)
2. Beginning of July (<1mo on T)
3. Last December (pre-T)
4. Today's voice check (12/6/20)
5. Day 1 Voice check (6/25/20) by @transgothlizard
0
6 years ago
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(I'm not someone who believes in capital g God, but this seemed... soothing)

10/11/20 ~•~ 2:14am

I'm about 3 and a half months on T now. it's been great, tho my top dysphoria seems to be getting stronger. I think that has to do with seeing and feeling the rest of my body falling into where it should be. I think my face is slowly getting more masculine. my mustache is coming in, slowly but surely. got a large patch of longer beard hair which is interesting. bottom dysphoria is fluctuating, but I think that's related to the bottom growth. I'm exceptionally aware of what's between my legs. it's uncomfortable and odd, but not always bad.

I still have a lot of internalized transphobia and homophobia that I gotta work through. every time I even think about dating or being with a guy I feel a stab n twist in my gut from a panic that tells me I'm predatory for even thinking a guy would want to be with me.

also might be bi. not gonna open that door just yet tho bc that comes with a lot more questions than what I'm ready to confront yet. by @transgothlizard
0
6 years ago
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Been a while!! I got my most recent hormone panel back and I'm well into male ranges on both testosterone and estrogen. Everything seems to be going smoothly!

I've got my therapist letters lined up for top surgery. I'm still searching for a surgeon, making my last efforts to stay in my network, but if it comes to it I also have a GoFundMe set up to save for surgery (with a specific surgeon in mind). I'm currently using it privately to save up on my own, but I will share it out once I feel it necessary. Any excess money I don't need for surgery/recovery (goal is set slightly higher than actual cost to offset fees) will go to another trans person's surgery fund.

Pics are of my facial hair progress. Ratty at the moment, but it's giving me so much gender euphoria that I really don't care how bad it looks. And my mustache is almost a full shadow now!! (The camera quality isn't the best, sorry)

Updates!! 11 Weeks on T!!
• Facial hair is growing in steadily, one large patch under my chin
• Body hair is also coming in
• Feeling a little chaotic, my emotions are a little more turbulent than I'm used to
• Voice is beginning to start pitching up and down when I speak, more so when I get excited
• Bottom growth has been starting, very slowly and slightly uncomfortable
• Might just be in my head, but I think my face shape is beginning to look more masculine by @transgothlizard
0
6 years ago
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So!! I had to change my prescription because I ended up having a reaction to the first one (I might have a mild tree seed allergy? we aren't sure). My dose has been upped from 0.125mL to 0.25mL and moved my injection sight from my stomach to my thigh.

Things have been pretty good!! The hormonal weeping has stopped. Now, I'm so sweaty all the time (and it smells different?? like...my sweat doesn't smell like it used to), I'm also hungry as hell constantly, and my libido has skyrocketed. Facial hair has continued filling in slowly but surely. by @transgothlizard
1
6 years ago
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My voice is changing!! I'm so happy about this!!
Also, I spoke with my insurance and, if I am able to jump through all the hoops (and there's quite a few), I'll be covered for any gender affirming surgeries I'm looking to get. First on that list is gonna be top surgery, but not for a little while.

Pic 1: Overall progress from voice analysis I did a month ago vs the one I did today
Pic 2: Results from initial analysis (6/18/20)
Pic 3: Results from today's analysis (7/16/20)

Updates!! 3 weeks on T!! -
•Voice is getting scratchier and deeper
•Becoming difficult to sing higher notes in songs (cannot reach head voice anymore)
•Did my first facial shave last night (going to do this every so often so I don't have a patchy beard lol)
•I'm a hormonal MESS and *will* start crying over nothing (more than usual) by @transgothlizard
0
6 years ago
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I figured I'd upload a video of how I do my shot!! I'm still getting the hang of it, so it's kinda a slow process.

UPDATES!! 2 Weeks on T
- My voice is definitely getting tired faster and is definitely deeper when I first wake up
- I think(???) I'm starting to get a tiny bit of facial hair like beyond my sideburns.  Mostly a thickening of peach fuzz with a couple of darker hairs by @transgothlizard
1
6 years ago
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June 25, 2020 — Day 1 of Testosterone! I was taught how to self administer my shots today. It was sore for a couple hours after, but everything is okay now. I will be using this account to log the different changes I see as my transition progresses. For now, I have begun my journey.

Stay Gold 💖 by @transgothlizard
0
6 years ago
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