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TREKuartista95

@trekuartista95

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Manchester City. Sneaking in the back door at Anfield. Avoiding loads of riled up Da’s with flares. Soft gets. Then sticking three past ‘em. Just knew it was gonna happen. Tough ‘un to take for Liverpool fans, that. They’ll feel robbed, again. Two soft bookings for Gravenberch. Game ruined. Six wins from six for City. Not sure it’ll be enough to keep ‘em up, mind. by @trekuartista95

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2 days ago

Liverpool vs. Man City. At Anfield. First game back after the guilty charges. Somet’ poetic about it. Somet’ written int’ stars. Proper WWE script writer stuff. “OH MY GAWWWD HERE COME CITY.” Maresca walking out the tunnel to the sound of smashing glass. Wearing a 1:15 leather vest. Cracking open two tinnies. And necking ‘em in front of the Kop. Load of Liverpool lads, in Montirex tracksuits and 110s, seething. Frothing at the mouth. Giving ‘em pelters. Haaland unfazed. Smirking. Anfield at boiling point. Hostile. Ont’ day of rest. Could be an all time record set for most boos in 90 minutes. Everton lot be fuming.

Ya owd man be getting himself down the ground early. Wants to give the Man City team bus a proper warm welcome. A proper ‘Scouse’ welcome. Hurl abuse at ‘em. Let ‘em know how he feels. Promised ya Ma’ he won’t embarrass himself, again. Won’t lob any bottles. Or ruin his new Next jumper with them daft flares. Nahhh. Learnt his lesson last time. He’ll be sound. No bother. Forget the Scouse not English stuff for today, lads. Majority of the country be backing yas. Hoping for a Liverpool win. Arsenal fans. Man United fans. Chelsea fans. The lot. Don’t let ‘em down. Admin reckons ya will, though. by @trekuartista95

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2 days ago

Michael Carrick. Man United. Not capable of seeing out a game. At home. Against ten man Spurs. Who’ve bagged twice all season. And yet to secure a win. Criminal. Gone by Christmas, telling ya. PE teacher tackle. Lucky to get a point, to be fair. Take the sacking, Michael. Take the payout. Enjoy ya Christmas. Get a gig managing int Championship next season. Stinks of Stoke. Or Bristol City. Easy does it. by @trekuartista95

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3 days ago

Fully grown adult. Ont’ Ewood. In full kit. And boots. Just in case he’s needed up top for the last 15 minutes. Fair play. Never know lad. “Mowbray sign him up.” Careful on them steps. Be slipping all over the gaff with this weather. Stacking it. by @trekuartista95

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3 days ago

On a night when Lionel Messi ended his international career in Buenos Aires. Sell out job. Cristiano Ronaldo was at home. Fuming. Sat ont’ toilet, probably, penning a ridiculously long statement. Thousand words or somet’ daft. Dissertation job on why he left the Portugal camp. Supposed broken promises. I’ve not read it all. And don’t intend to. But I could’ve saved him plenty of time. Plenty of prompts on Chat GPT. The football’s left ya mate. Time to call it a day. Walk away with ya head held high. Don’t make a dick of yaself. Too late, mind. Lad’s head’s fully gone. No class. No self awareness. Nowt. Be on the blower to Piers Morgan, no doubt. “Sort us an interview lad.”

There’s somet’ fitting. Somet’ poetic how both Messi and Ronaldo’s international careers have, seemingly, ended. Sums ‘em both up perfectly. Ronaldo’s desperate for the attention, the send off, Messi’s received. He’s gagging for it. Won’t happen now, though. Nahh. Tainted lad. Shame. by @trekuartista95

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6 days ago

Lionel Messi. Argentina. Always had a bit of Super Nanny about it. Bit of Jo Frost. Messi’s the Nanny. Tasked with taming a disruptive group. Proper job on his hands. Spent years observing ‘em. Assessing ‘em. Tantrums. Head losses. Scraps. “How the fuck am I gonna get this lot to behave?” Seen managers come and go. He himself thought “fuck it” in 2016. Called it a day. “I’ve got nothing left.” Few weeks later and he’d changed his mind. Done a Tyson Fury job. Announced a U-turn. Unfinished business. Usss. Usss.

Introduced a few discipline techniques, probably. Some new methods. Naughty step. One strike and ya out. No messing about. If no gaffer can get ‘em in line, he will. Took a while, but he got there eventually. Got ‘em behaving. Grafting. Everyone bought in. Ont’ same page. Even that Parades lad. And that little Jack Russell. Barco. When Messi spoke, they listened. They’d go to war for the goth. 10 bastards. And a magician. The heavies. Snap Messi and they all pile in. “Who fucking wants it?” “¿Quién coño lo quiere?” Protecting their master. In ya faces. Forehead to forehead. Flinch and they’ll be ont’ deck. Rolling around. Feigning injury. Nowt wrong with ‘em. Masters of the dark arts, though. Wanting to get under ya skin. Annoy ya. Disrupt ya. Make ya lose focus. Then Messi would do his thing. Take the piss. Kill the game. It shouldn’t have worked. But it did. by @trekuartista95

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6 days ago

More aggro between Ireland and Israel. Irish coach Damien Doyle has alleged he was spat at by an Israeli player. All kicked off int’ tunnel at halftime. Everyone piled in. Serbian security witnessed it too. Horrible. Should be a heavy ban, that. Eight games, minimum. Probably get off with a warning. A slap ont’ wrist. UEFA probably shit the bed. Bottle it. by @trekuartista95

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8 days ago

That there. That’s Rui Pinto. Bit of a goth. Loves computers. Hacking. And all that shite. Only man int’ world still spiking his hair and keeping wet look gel in business. Definitely wears them shit shirt and jumper combos from Next. Proper Head Of IT clobber. Brought down the Man City empire with a phishing email. Pretending to be a UEFA official. Daft. We’ve all done our cybersecurity modules at work. All done the tests. All know what to look for. Requests for sensitive details. “Dear Customer.” Dodgy links. Nobody’s falling for it. Someone’s done it on purpose. Surely. My money’s on Mikel. Lad’s been plotting for years. Played the long game. Fair play.

We all owe Rui a pint. Or a Monster. For the sacrifices he’s made. For exposing ‘em. For providing us with the most memorable international break in a lifetime. It’s all because of him. Don’t let anyone ever tell ya goths aren’t sound. ‘Cause they are. Lad was in witness protection up until Wednesday. Was all sound. Tweeted about Gianni Infantino. Two hours later and he’s fending for himself. Protection gone. Fearing for his life. Got people donating to a GoFundMe account. Trying to raise €3million. Gaff and security. Be plenty of charitable ‘Red Cartel’ fans willing to donate, surely? by @trekuartista95

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10 days ago

Confirmed, then. Man City are proper cheating bastards. Guilty of 114 charges. Over £900m pocketed through ‘sham’ commercial deals. Titus Shambles, is that. Jaap Sham. Shami Kebab. Sheikh Mansour and the lads sending over ‘Tagged Sums’ to the value of £830m or somet’ daft. Bit dodgy that mate. Disappointed if he’s not done it ont’ Revolut app. Worst kept secret in football, by the way. No smoke without fire. You knew it. Admin knew it. We all knew it. Yet City officials maintain their innocence. Insist they’ve got irrefutable evidence. I’m no lawyer. But if I was, I’d get that evidence in front of whoever needs to see it, ASAP. Probably too late, mind.

Be owd boys in work this morning getting pelters. Trying to keep their heads down. Crack on. Get the job done. Lads ont’ factory floor not having any of it, though. Nahh. Terrorising Big Keith. Trying to stick 114 post-it-notes ont’ lad’s back without him realising. Tight. Locker door plastered with the back pages. “City found guilty.” He’ll not live this down. None of ‘em will. Should feel sorry for ‘em really. But there’s lads on Twitter still denying it. Coming up with excuses. Saw one claim Blackburn should be done for spending a few quid in ‘95. Too far is that. Throw the book at ‘em. We weren’t the biggest spenders that year anyway. Serious, though. Punishment’s gotta be unprecedented. Extreme. Somet’ that’ll impact ‘em for as long as they’ve been cooking the books. Someone in the DM’s said make ‘em watch all five seasons of Mrs Brown’s Boys, back-to-back. Not harsh enough, for me. I’d make ‘em watch the lot whilst on a High Performance podcast with Jake Humphrey and Ste Bartlett. That’ll stop everyone cheating. Liverpool away first game back after the international break. Somet’ poetic about that. Proper WWE script writer stuff. Whole of Anfield doing the Poznan. Be good viewing that. by @trekuartista95

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13 days ago

The Ireland team hung Gavin Bazunu out to dry earlier int’ week. After he took a stand. Agents threatening players, apparently. Saying they’d never play for US-owned UK clubs if they refused to play. Mad. Tonight the rest of the team bowed their heads during Israel’s national anthem. Refused to shake hands with ‘em. And wore black armbands for all the lives lost. Game shouldn’t have taken place, to be fair. But Ireland going three up inside half an hour’s funny, init? Watch Finn Azaz come on and bag four own goals. by @trekuartista95

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15 days ago

Carlisle. Going 4-1 down. To Woking. In the National League. Keeper giving it B-TEC Bruce Grobbelaar ont’ line. John Marquis unfazed. Not arsed. You sit down son. Sent him to the shops. And let him know. Shit-house. Pulled out the fake handshake. Proper school yard stuff. Keeper’s been had. Mugged off. Be asking to be subbed straight away me. Grab my stuff out the changing rooms. Head home. No shower. Leave the WhatsApp group. Never be seen in public again. No way back. Commentator can’t believe who Carlisle are 4-1 down to. Bit too much entitlement there, for my liking. Sorry. Woking chairman ont’ pitch with a rascal of a barnet. “Business in the front, party in the back.” Bloke. by @trekuartista95

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16 days ago

Burnham’s set to allow drinking int’ stands at the footy. Which is sound If everyone could behave ‘emselves. Like they do in Germany. But we all know there’ll be a small minority who can’t be trusted. Can’t contain their excitement. Get a bit giddy when their team wins a corner. And feel it’s necessary to lob their lukewarm pint of rat’s piss down four rows. Ruining big Keith’s market bought Stonie. Lad’s fuming. It’s fake anyway, mate. Imagine that happening in’t Premier League. Celebrating a goal. Getting drenched. Only for it to be ruled out by VAR. Head would go. Box-Park dickheads. Grow up. Plenty for it, though. And I can see why. Wouldn’t miss the start of the second half. Trying to neck two flat pints in 15 minutes. But there’s somet’ cultured about heading down to the concourse with 35 minutes ont’ clock. Beat the rush. English football heritage, is that. Be huge for lower league clubs too. Earning some extra coin. Can see both sides. Rather Burnham tackle more pressing issues, mind. Ticket prices be a good’un. by @trekuartista95

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17 days ago