Instagram story viewer> @turturwong> Posts
Teresa(@turturwong)'s profile avatar HD Profile

Teresa

@turturwong

896
followers
2492
following
doing things, writing feels
drawing myself as a cat at @somestupidcat
POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED
Wow, I just haven’t had the time to think for a while. It’s like I went through a thousand frames of life, and I’m still feeling its visceral imprint. Moved out, visited a couple of new cities, listened to my favourite music live, turned 33, explored the depths of mental rock bottom, and reinvented myself close to a thousand times. All in these ten months! Jeez. I still grapple with this a lot — where is my home? Is it where my family and friends are? Or is it where my true sense of self lies? Is it supposed to feel natural, or can and should I engineer it? Well, in between all of this, I kinda decided that I’m going to lead an extraordinary life. I had so many options in my multiverse, and somehow I ended up in this one — by choice. How cool to think about all the paths ahead of me. I wonder what I’ll get up to next! by @turturwong
12
a year ago
Download
I have been so damn out of homeostasis lately. I’ve also died a thousand proverbial deaths in the past few months. In the journey that I chose and paid to play, the currency was my Self and now I’m out of pence. Thoughts facts feelings, please tell me who is steering this ship. Because right now it’s everyone and the deck has no place for all three. Actually I feel a strange overwhelming sense to apologise, but to whom? And for what? I’m so sorry to my little garden mind to have drowned you in dissonance with no room to bloom. I’m sorry to what I thought I knew to be true. I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I’m sorry that I’m not who I thought I was? Or does that actually mean that I’m becoming more of who I actually am? I am just going through THINGS man. To whoever up there is orchestrating these crazy lessons - I’M LEARNING THEM NOW. Don’t test me anymore!! by @turturwong
4
2 years ago
Download
I see November as the month of your life and your death. Seems like a long time since, but two years is nothing but a speck in the continuum of time. I quote something that I wrote a month after you passed on - “I guess what I look forward to is life growing, with bubbling proportion, in a way that makes it bearable to coexist with this gap.” Little did I know that life would’ve inflated at a magnitude beyond my imagination, haha. Which! is generally a good thing, but also makes me fear that I stray far from where you are, or who I was when you were here. It’s as if I’m leaving you behind and I almost feel guilty for it. Life is generally good, but special occasions are the hardest. Christmas, Chinese New Year, Father’s Day, and especially Birthdays (I secretly cried buckets on mine). I get to age incrementally, whereas you will eternally be three weeks shy of turning 61. What a shame that you aren’t here for me to show you off to all the people that I have yet to meet. Oh well. That e.e. cummings poem has never resonated this much. Nothing really matters as much as continuing to spread joy and laughter into the world as how you would have. Miss you muchies. I am the effervescence of all the goodness that you are and more. P.S. Made you a supplementary credit card (+ globe) so that I can sponsor you when you come traveling with me 🤑🌍 by @turturwong
15
2 years ago
Download
Idk, 10 month check in. I get into these introspection cycles so often and so much sometimes my head wants to explode. Or implode. It’s almost like I whirl it around me like armour [to protect me… from ‘something’]. I know I generally come across as pretty gregarious but there’s this undercurrent of melancholy that I can’t shake off. I guess that’s what anchors my highs to be really high. Does anyone even read this? Also, dismantling whatever I think I know is the worst lol. Trying to reconstruct a new version of myself after that, is EVEN worse. Everything is the worst! I’m kidding. It’s really about the journey inwards isn’t it. Life is good even when it’s tough. Can someone just tell me why I want to do everything at the same time? Just need to find more energy to pour myself into all of it. Or to retire. Either would be good. This whole paragraph is so unpolished haha. Byeee love everyone. by @turturwong
2
2 years ago
Download
Some genuine actualisations that surfaced while jumping around the world during the past few weeks: 1. I am at my absolute happiest when I feel hopeful, giving, and free 2. It gets delicately complex to articulate who you are, let alone show it, if you are constantly in flux 3. Generally, ‘now’ is always a better time than ‘later’ 4. Statistically, ‘yes’ has always been a better option over ‘no’ 5. My heart can expand and engulf everything in sight, but at what cost? At whose cost? 6. Creativity, if met with the inability to express itself, will seep darkly into misrepresented areas of life 7. I am… who I am? Why have I been punishing myself for who I am not? 8. Learning is non-linear. Also, replace Learning with Healing 9. Being truly honest with myself has proven to be much, much harder than being honest with others 10. If you really want something, you have to.. make it happen? by @turturwong
4
2 years ago
Download
Midpoint check in, an anthology of thoughts — I often get this particular feeling in short bursts. My heart light as a feather; sailing through the breeze, weathering hurricanes, settling when the air is still. I’ve always preferred to follow where the wind would take me. I’m at odds with myself when this happens, though. Because I choose not to sit in the driver’s seat. It feels forced and almost contrived to me. I’d rather be open and fluid, with nowhere and everywhere to go. — Halves. Second half, other half, better half. Who decided that it only takes one out of two to make a whole? Why does it sound so revered and powerful? — In moments of quiet, I visualise the multiples of myself tumbling and cartwheeling forward at different speeds. The goal is not so much as to chase towards something, as it is to find harmony in a synchronous cadence. I’ve only ever known to operate in extremes. So how do I hold on to peace long enough to become it? This fireball of a life does wear me out at times, but I always find a way to burn a little brighter than before. Oh no! by @turturwong
3
2 years ago
Download
One and a half years ago, I wrote about dealing with the grief of my dad’s passing. “I know peace is on the horizon if I reach out and cling onto it.” I remember how desperately I wanted to feel moderated and not be on the verge of tipping over again and again. Since then, I’ve come to realise that peace isn’t something outward to grab, nor is it in some tangible form of respite. It’s a feeling that quietly sneaks up on me when I don’t seek it. It unfurls itself in greenery during a walk, the ripples in the sea, the streaks of warmth in a pastel sunset. It’s the feeling that arrives when I appreciate the vastness of the sky, and the feeling that stays when I stop doing the foxtrot with the future. I took this photo in Boulder last year at the creek. I remember thinking to myself, “Wow, is this what heaven feels like?” If that was just a tiny fraction of how peaceful the afterlife must be, then you’re definitely in a better place. Happy forever Father’s Day to my favourite daddy. May your gifts of sweet serendipity bring us all more joy on earth. by @turturwong
3
2 years ago
Download
Besotted beyond belief 🤍 #newyorkcity by @turturwong
3
2 years ago
Download
It can’t get any better than this. I repeat this a lot about 2023. “Rate your year,” a friend asked, and I said 15/10 without skipping a beat. There was more laughter, some tears, and lots of laughter with tears. Travelled thousands of miles, went all out, and raised the stakes so high to the point where folding was not an option. Basically, it has been life on crack. “It really can’t get any better than this.” I feel almost afraid to say it again. If I say it again, am I selling myself short of all the wonderful things that the future holds? But if I don’t say it enough, am I selling myself short of all the wonderful things that had happened this year? I ended up with this for a key takeaway - Nothing truly happens again. We’re never really the same person, never in the same backdrop, as how clouds will race across the sky even while we’re standing still. And so I treat each moment with fond tenderness, knowing that I would be incredibly blessed to be given seconds. As the year concludes - I would like to remember 2023 as the year where I maxed out the boundaries of my personality, stood up for myself, made so many meaningful connections, hit key milestones, sharpened my intuition, and all in all, grew up a ton. For all the seemingly wrong turns I’ve made, I sure made many excellent ones in place 😊 Thank you to everyone who has been a part of my year, here’s to more love and happiness in 2024! #reflection #2023 by @turturwong
16
3 years ago
Download
I try to have some alone time every Sunday, to pause and do a weekly stocktake. When my walls seem to be perceivably caving in, I find it centering to help me sink back into myself. Most times I look at everyone around me, strangers or friends, and wonder if they would ever know what goes on in my head. Sigh. I feel too much, every interaction layered on top of a bedrock of… sentiment. I want to be right here and everywhere else too. I wish there could be 20 of me to experience all of the world at the same time. But life has been a dream. After being on a year-long bullet train ride with my head out the window, I feel like I might get permanent vertigo after I hop off. (Or will I?) Maybe it’ll be easier to make sense of magic if I continue to look at my life as the best dream ever. Who ever said reality needed to be boring? #reflection #2023 by @turturwong
0
3 years ago
Download
It’s always easier to optimise your life if you have something as your North Star. For the longest time, it was always about being a caring, loving, daughter and partner. Though it gave me purpose, sometimes at my expense (I have zero regrets), I could only glimpse beyond the perimeters of that identity I proudly sunk myself into - like appreciating an ocean breeze from the balcony instead of running straight to the water. I was always waiting for something. I tend to describe my life as being on the brink of something great, the precipice, ‘I’m at an inflection point’ etc. So I’m happy that all it took was a three hour walk in Central Park to have the most understated epiphany unfurl before me - that I’m actually ALREADY living in the greatness that is my life, now! The present is my new purpose, with a gentle embrace for what was and what will be. I rarely post photos of myself, especially with my face front and centre. But I would like to remember that I was really happy that day; with the sun shining, birds chirping, while faithfully walking into the kaleidoscopic goodness that is and has yet to be. #reflection #thoughts #america taken in Central Park by @turturwong
11
3 years ago
Download
Thoughts a brewin’ 💭☕️ — My Canon A1 stopped working two days into my epic three week trip. Felt a twinge thinking about all the moments that I wouldn’t be able to immortalize. My film camera grounds me – the weight in my hands, translating thought into a frame, manipulating light, only 36 shots; it teaches me to be present and intentional. Then I really thought about it, why do I take photos anyway? It’s because I don’t want to forget anything, EVER. Dementia is my third biggest fear, with cockroaches and losing all my hair coming before that. I just want to remember ALL of EVERYTHING - happiness or strife, the view from my eyes, the beauty of lives that aren’t mine. Collecting these memories and plotting them out, like stars in a constellation where you can bask in its grandiosity only after you put them all together. Perhaps it’s lighter to let things to go when they stop working, no matter how much you thought you loved them. The pleasure and commitment to nostalgia is still mine, but now without the weight of what I think is supposed to be 😊 #reflection #thoughts #america #usa taken in United States by @turturwong
2
3 years ago
Download

Download All

Save the photos and videos currently loaded on this page.

0Photos
0Videos
Ready to download 0 / 0

Keep this tab open until your download is ready.
back to up