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Ralph Reneau

@ufph1

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While the world feels like it’s falling apart around me, one positive thing, at least in my personal life, is that it’s officially been two years of sobriety for me, and boy, what a couple of years it’s been.

As most people who have really done this can probably attest, healing is by no means linear. But I am so glad I made the choice to try and right my own ship and really do what’s best for me, while getting in touch with who I really am as a person.

I’ve met and gotten to know some really incredible people, and I’ve lost touch with people who only existed in my world of self-destruction. There have definitely been highs and lows, and there are still moments where I question whether I’m headed in the right direction, doing the right thing in my day-to-day life, or if I’ll ever reach a place where I feel completely at peace with myself.

But at the very least, I can say that overall I’m in a much better and more stable place than I was when I was trying to numb myself out. As the saying goes, I am taking it one day at a time, and I’m going to keep trying to be the best version of myself. Even though I know I’ll still make mistakes, I hope that in moments when I look back at all of this, I can at least say I've become someone that I’m proud of. by @ufph1

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9 months ago

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐁𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

It's been a minute since I have done any art therapy sessions for myself, but with all the emotions the holidays bring I needed to get my thoughts and feelings out one way or another. It's definitely a joyous time in some ways, but it's also a time of high stress and I know it has definitely caused me to overthink and ruminate on every decision I make or anything I do. Life seems to have a way to come at you when you least expect it. I know that all these are learning experiences and I'll hopefully come out wiser, but when you're in the middle of it you tend to be reminded that even paradise has thorns.

Fractals made with Fractal Eye
All Stock images courtesy of Pexels.com by @ufph1

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10 months ago

𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗜𝘀 𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘆

Healing is anything but linear, and I can see why people don't talk about it, because it's unpleasant, and no one would attempt it if they actually knew what they were getting into. But there are good times, and I do believe it's worth it, which is why I've chosen this path. by @ufph1

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a year ago

𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗢𝗹𝗱 𝗛𝗮𝗯𝗶𝘁𝘀

Life seems to be on an upswing lately, and I’m doing my best to stay positive. But just as hope begins to rise on the horizon, my natural instinct is to wait for the other shoe to drop. Still, I’m trying to stay optimistic, and as the title says, I'm attempting to break my old habits of pessimism.
And in the midst of that, I found some completely unexpected inspiration for my art, and when the mood strikes, I think it's best to create before it leaves. These moments don't last forever, so I am trying to cherish them while they're here. by @ufph1

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a year ago

𝗜𝘁 𝗡𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗚𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗲𝗿 𝗪𝗲 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗕𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝘁 𝗜𝘁

I've been dealing with a little more stress recently than I'd like, but I'm still alive, so I guess I’ve got that going for me. Sometimes, though, it just feels like a vicious loop of never-ending nightmares. I try to stay as grounded as a person like me can, which, unfortunately, isn't saying much. But as I always say, I'll just keep pushing while also trying to remind myself that, once in a while, maybe a break is not only needed but necessary. by @ufph1

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2 years ago

𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗪𝗮𝘆

All I can do is try and keep pushing through, but no matter what, life has a way of reminding me that what I want is insignificant and what I get isn't always up to me. by @ufph1

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2 years ago

Picking Up the Pieces

It’s interesting to see myself drawn back to so many things I once loved and parts of myself I haven’t encountered in nearly 15 to 20 years. I can only hope that what resurfaces are the best aspects of me, the ones I unknowingly set aside. And while this journey is far from easy, I’m making an effort to look ahead even as I navigate these old, familiar paths in new and potentially profound ways. I’m learning to embrace new possibilities without immediately assuming the worst and allowing myself to hope instead of fearing where things might lead. by @ufph1

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2 years ago

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗕𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 (𝗔𝗻 𝗨𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗔𝗹𝗹𝘆)

So, this art piece went in a totally different direction than I originally expected. But sometimes, things also fall right into place. After getting completely stressed out, I sometimes like to escape into my mind. Despite a lot of negativity, there is still an innocent part of my brain that shows me my hopes and dreams for my personal life, as well as what I wish the world could be. That seems to be an ongoing theme in my life, living in between what is and what I wish could be. by @ufph1

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2 years ago

I am one year sober today, and I have to admit—it’s been a wild ride. I went from an anxiety-ridden, stressed-out, overworked alcoholic to a still somewhat anxious but quasi-sensible gym rat.

In all seriousness, though, I do feel a lot better than I did. I still have moments of insanity from time to time, but I think we all do to some degree (or at least that’s what I tell myself). My mental and physical health are definitely improving, and I’ve found better ways to cope.

I’ve stopped letting outside factors and people influence how I live my life when they’re not the ones dealing with the consequences. I’m starting to recognize my value and self-worth.

And if nothing else, I went from blacking out and wondering how I wound up in my bed to lifting heavy circles and wondering why my right shoulder sounds like I’m grinding gears. And in the grand scheme of things, I’d say that’s a pretty decent trade-off. by @ufph1

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2 years ago

𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐔𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐰𝐧 by @ufph1

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2 years ago

𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦 by @ufph1

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0

2 years ago

𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 by @ufph1

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2 years ago