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‘Cause anything’s better than the way I feel right now.

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This weekend could go a very long way to getting me back to a place where I feel functional and possibly drag me out of a year long hole that has left me broken and in a terrible place. By Wednesday, I could be well on my way to being okay again. I just need some luck. by @white.cyclosa

$You wouldn’t wanna read my mind, you wouldn’t wanna stand beside me. #thiscityisfracture by @white.cyclosa$

$I’m lost, but it’s time to find myself. I’ve always felt alien, but now I wonder if I can finally feel human here in Fracture. Show me your secrets and I’ll show you mine, @this_city_is_fracture. by @white.cyclosa$

Always looking, always searching. Eventually, I’m going to find a place to call home. by @white.cyclosa

I have waited over a decade for this. This group changed how I listened and absorbed music, and I find that their albums are some of the ones I can consistently return to time and time again no matter my mood. I still love my metal and rock, but nothing really consistently moves me like Boards of Canada. If you need me, I’m going to drown myself in what may end up being my album of the year. #boardsofcanada #bocpages #nowplaying #justwhatineededtoday by @white.cyclosa

Was involved in a gnarly car accident yesterday. I’m fine, but sore. Could use some help covering food and shelter for a couple days. If anyone can help, drop me a DM. by @white.cyclosa

Y’all, we did it. Stood by this team in the good times and the absolute worst and now we locked it down. One down and one to go. #COYG #AFC #Arsenal by @white.cyclosa

Took the day to go to #LorcanaDLCMilwaukee and finally met the absolutely friendly @rebekahquests! It was nice to find someone to take the time to chat and have me one more fun memory of the day. Sometimes a little fun is all you need to destress. #DisneyLorcana #DisneyLorcanaChallenge #dlcmilwaukee2025 by @white.cyclosa

I’ve spent a lot of time on Threads the last few weeks, and seeing people with the same problems I’m having has given me reason to revive Paragon Radio. Last week I did a show where if could get any tips or donations, I would take a share for myself and donate the rest to others. Now that’s my plan for tomorrow as well. However, I’m adding a twist. If I can get $300 in donations to my GoFundMe, my PayPal, or my Venmo, tomorrow I will use whatever donations I receive tomorrow as a way to give back to others in need. My GFM link is in my bio, so let’s get this going and let’s help others. I’ll leave my PayPal and Venmo in the comments.

#mutualaid #kindness #foryou #fyp #music by @white.cyclosa

$I’ve been holding onto this pic for a while. Part of it was the promise I wouldn’t show @aberfeldi6’s face (I made sure I didn’t!), and the other part was me feeling I wanted to hold onto one memory from that California trip to myself from a trip that was full of memories with myself and my ex. There’s a strange feeling about this photo (can’t forget @eclecticeddie1 here too!) because 24 hours later the very thing that brought the three of us together, shut down. Every now and then, I think of Amp and it makes me feel like a weird high school or the college experience I never had. We met, connected, and for the 10 months I was on the app, it connected me to amazing people. Some I’ve lost connection to (miss ya @marisamendelson ,Eddie and Kay!), some I talk to in passing but not as often (Toos, you’re the best), and some I try to talk to as often (I’m sure I’ve annoyed you too much @bigseanmo lol). We all tried Stationhead, but it felt like in a weird way it lost its magic. It seems like these days we’re a fractured tribe. All of us in different lands, different lives, and all I hold onto is the memory of Mondays at 4p CT when I’d bring you 90s magic with very often the help of Marisa and @uncle_dandy_. We laughed a lot (anyone remember when my futon broke mid-episode?), we cried (there were times), and we even had the kinda insanity that made us so uniquely a family. Not a day goes by I don’t think of my Amp family and the days of the music and the happiness, and that goes for everyone. Michelle, Jodie, Panda, Nomi, Sean, Claire, Useless, Shake, and so many more. In a time in my life I craved purpose and belonging, I found you all. I’ve never forgotten that. Maybe someday we’ll all find that one perfect station where we can reunite in a perfect cacophony of pervy playlists, poor stripper radio, 90s music, and everything else. Oh, and late nights with Max when I couldn’t sleep that turned into mornings with Marisa. Thankfully, I’ve always got @theunfurlinglotus carrying the torch with me. Just remember guys, wherever you go…there you are. And last tidbit. I used to sign off my shows with the phrase “Keelah Se’lai”. Ask me what it means. by @white.cyclosa$

Gonna try something new tonight because I’m trying to be braver, bolder, and maybe even the small chance I’m feeling myself. So…you get this for now. Hi world, this is me at 44, continuing to lose weight, and maybe hoping someone out there is feeling the vibe. #selflove #confidence #dadbod #dadbods #singlelife #heregoesnothing by @white.cyclosa

My first top 8! I managed to do pretty well at @boars.hat over here in suburban Chicago. Played a Ruby/Steel Mushu deck. I’m pretty damn proud of myself. @disneylorcana #lorcana #disneylorcana #tcg #ravensburger by @white.cyclosa

jonathan|DM

@white.cyclosa