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Clare Haynes

@wildfirespark

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🧡 Difficult Conversations Expert
💡Stop avoiding, start talking confidently
🔗Get:7 Step Prep for Difficult Conversations
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In the local paper.

Thanks to the Leamington Courier, and @iamhollynixon for the tip off when I hadn't seen it.

If one of their friends mentions it to my folks.. not surprisingly, neither really understands what I do for a living, nor what the fuss seems to be about.

Anyone else have perplexed parents when it comes to your job?

#BritishHRAwards #bestsmeawards #businessawards @bestsmeawards by @wildfirespark

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5 months ago

Looks like I'll like pink a little longer!

At the British HR Awards, I won Highly Commended for Coach of the Year. Coming second in 12 finalists is amazing!

Credit to my brave clients and their results when they face fears and risk failure. Thank you.

Winning table goes to.. Olivia Wilkins, Laura Cieplak and Charlotte Webb, Alberto Natale, Monique Wintle-Camp and Becky Flight. Congratulations on reaching the finalist lists and getting the glass!

Also, well done to my WomenIn connections Jenny Garrett OBE and Aiko Sato on your win.

Perry Timms, (great to see you for thirty seconds to say Hi - been years!) marvellous panel-chairing for the AI conversation (as well as a lead role in the awards). Glad to hear the conclusion that leaders will need extra skills to handle conflict .. keeps me in a job!

Unusual for a woman, I can't stand the colour pink. The awards are positively pink. I'm sticking to orange, but making.. allowances!

#BritishHRAwards #coaching #HRawards by @wildfirespark

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5 months ago

Last week my back end changed.

I did a thing. A BIG thing (not sure anything that suggests LARGE, HUGE or MASSIVE is safe in caps at the moment) .. but, at least, it was big for me.

I put on my big-girl pants and battled with tech, AKA the automated back office.

I’ve subscribed to a system for 2 years without using it. I dabbled a few times but then got intimidated. How can a cog icon seem so threatening?!

There are sections where you, supposedly, simply ‘Drag n Drop’ bits. But you need to know the specific bit to drop it in, when there's no ‘X marking the spot!’

(I’m convinced they hide bits for a chuckle, so it feels like a scavenger hunt!)

I did a 20-hour stint (no kidding!) so I didn’t lose momentum for another 24 months.

The outcome = You can now download my free guide: 7 Step Prep for Difficult Conversations (link in bio).

And this experience is just like difficult conversations:

It can feel like a threat, it might even give you a tension headache, or you can’t see or think clearly to find the answers or the words. Maybe it’s keeping you up at night?

It gets emotional, and worse as stress rises. And if you back out it grows, playing in the back of your mind like a hefty unpaid bill.

What you want is to feel calm and in more control.

So, firstly get the guide. It’s surprising how the steps seem so obvious, yet you miss them under pressure.

Next up, get in touch if you need my help, for your team, for you or to speak at your event about conversations that are hard to have!

#difficultconversations #assertiveness by @wildfirespark

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6 months ago

We go round in circles without answers when it's not working out with someone, not knowing what to say or when. Putting it off.

It's fraught, stressful, sapping energy. Even when it's not that serious, but it's taking up headspace better used elsewhere.

The problem is, we see it from tunnel vision and we underestimate different views. Then, instead of seeking the perspective of someone completely unrelated, we ask someone like us. It's called Confirmation Bias, seeking similar opinion.

I see it all the time. Worse, you don't know you're doing it, how it's paralysing and how it's making you more resistant to handling what you should be (and let's not even get onto how not handling it loses you the respect of the wider team and colleagues).

It's like the social media algo that sends you more of the same stuff, narrowing your view, not using your time well.

That's one of the main values in how I help clients. Seeing things as an outsider. Working in a variety of sectors, at key levels, gives me a range of perspectives that saves you from a disaster or relationship place-of-no-return.

Different views are underestimated. Staying in your comfort zone with people who think like you feels good, but it does you and those you deal with a disservice, keeping you from the conversation you could be having.

This pic was taken in Marlow, where I caught a riverside walk (admiring the houses of the wealthy!) before heading to the Great British Business and Community Awards tonight as a finalist for the Lifetime Achievement Award. Just like the view cleared my head after a full week, I'll get to speak to high-achieving strangers in completely different businesses and undoubtedly gain a fresh perspective.

To see your conversations and relationships differently, to gain more power immediately, get in touch. I work with groups and 1:1, in the most nervous and sensitive situations. Try me (see comments)!

Who do you turn to, to deliberately get a different perspective?

#difficultconversations #confidentconversation by @wildfirespark

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4 days ago

I wanted a bronze feature wall in my house but couldn't find the right paint. The one I liked was on an old colour chart and the company got bought out last year.

But, I did get this... I'm chuffed to make Bronze in The Great British Business & Community Awards 2026 for Lifetime Achievement.

To receive the news on Wildfire's 24th birthday was extra special too.

We can talk leadership, skills and learning all we like, but this has always been a business built from the heart, to help people get unstuck. Often it goes far beyond the workplace and working with vulnerable people too, wherever people face difficult conversations.

No mean feat going it alone (I still miss the support of an IT team) but the extended team is everyone I've worked with and who still teach me everyday. I do have the best clients, thank you for trusting me and often being brave.

2770 nominations were made for these awards so I'm grateful. Thank you #gbbcawards. Silver and Gold winners will be announced at the awards evening at the Crowne Plaza Marlow on 25 September. Good luck to all the finalists.

#businessawards by @wildfirespark

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13 days ago

You've got people working in the office a day or two a week and flexible working. Most people are using AI. And everyone says they want openness and to stop silos.

I've seen teams with 12 different AI approaches but no one really knew why. Or, worse still, dared to ask.

Some things are being hidden and excuses being made. But you need to know what's helping and what's hindering.

Someone has to own it. If it's not you, then who? Who's leading?

Instead of feeling scattergun, your leadership team should feel sure-footed going into the next quarter and beyond, because it's constantly changing and you need to know how to flex with it. That's what the rest of the team look to you for.

That's the conversation that needs to happen. The real one, not policies. Mapping the mix of AI, job roles, relevant tasks, time-consuming activities, flexibility, speed, accountability and using initiative. Getting your actual picture clear.

Ready to start? Have a single session, with no further commitment, or we can sketch out something bigger. Either way, let's get you clear, to implement something that matters.

Message me 𝗔𝗜 𝗔𝘂𝗱𝗶𝘁 for details, to start what could be your most important conversation right now.

#workplaceAI #leaders by @wildfirespark

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21 days ago

I’m never happy seeing the back of summer. I’d be quite happy for my grass not to be greener a while longer. You?

But, as well as adjusting to the teens’ new routines, this is what my new “school year” looks like, Wildfire-wise:

- Industrial and finance leaders having fortnightly exec coaching, to keep their minds straight, strategy in check and a confidential sounding-board where you don’t have to hold it together.

- Team programmes in commercial and public sector where they’re going through restructuring and need to change systems, behaviours, communication routes to make it smoother, easier and faster. It's a mix of coaching, support for the leaders, strategic directional steer and team training/facilitation days.

- Training for national bodies and individual businesses: Presentations Delivered Differently, Advanced Presentation Skills, Introduction to Influencing, Advanced Influencing and Negotiating, Constructive Challenge, Being the Best Business Partner.

- Speaking at events about Difficult Conversations, to stop avoidance doing damage.

- Plus some special sessions for causes close to my heart, where confident conversations are needed by the vulnerable.

𝗗𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘃𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝘀 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗲𝘀, 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳, 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽𝘀 𝗿𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗱, 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲, 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝘄.

Think implementation and action, not consumption. And if your team, business or organisation need these too, get in touch. If easiest, I love a quick bit of WhatsApp on 07810 891818.

#difficultconversations #leaders #HR by @wildfirespark

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a month ago

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

So the saying goes. But if it "ain't" knowingly broken, you won’t fix it!

Specifically, difficult conversations running roughshod through your culture. Or, rather, not having them.

The stats prove (there’s a stack of them on the Wildfire website) that people leave because of it, they stop working well because of it, they lose their confidence because of it and commitment dives because of it.

You can run as many staff surveys, townhalls, diagonal slices, team days, courses, charity volunteer sessions, and “choose your own learning” schemes as you like. But, it won’t help what’s being avoided.

It’s messy. But avoidance is avoidable. It’s a mix of deciphering what’s really going on, giving people simple tools that’ll quickly build their confidence, leading from the front and cascading it down whilst encouraging it bottom-up.

Whilst it’s ignored, there’s a growing toxic culture, a sense of a cover up, Chinese Whispers, all directly visible in the business results, even if the blame’s being named elsewhere.

Have you left a job because that important conversation wasn’t being had, or the gritty stuff was being avoided? Let me know if this resonates.

And if you’re trying to model a great culture, based on another business or organisation, you need to get your ducks in a row first. Ducking the difficult conversations is a problem somewhere in every workplace, but it doesn’t have to be.

If you want better, simpler, easier and happier working as soon as September, message me confidentially or give me a call and I’ll tell you where to start. And it's probably not where you think.

Why wouldn’t you?!

#hr #leaders #difficultconversations by @wildfirespark

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a month ago

Still really hard out there for many people in the job market.

Maybe you're repeatedly reaching the final two. Or you're not even getting a response. Some people know where they're not getting noticed, some have no idea.

We focus on where you need the help. You then do something differently.

I have 4 spots towards end August and in September. £297.

Message me for booking details.

.........

Career-coaching since 2002, when I started coaching alongside my senior management job, I commit some spaces per month to help job-seekers (it's not on the website, but client reviews are in my Linked In recommendations section).

It's really hard to see clearly when you're so close to it.

Nail your prep, know your phrases, angle the examples you need and get a clear action plan sent to your inbox.

Book your online session.
Send me your CV/applications/feedback/online profiles.
We pull apart what's not working.
We form a clear plan.
You have simple steps for prep, applications and in interviews.
And it's sent to your inbox same-day.

#careercoaching #jobsearch by @wildfirespark

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a month ago

As well as making the list for Coach, Mentor and Trainer category, how nice is this?!

Lifetime Legend sounds a bit grand. But if surviving and thriving in business for nearly 24 years, working with incredibly talented, usually humble, often brave and wonderful human beings does it, then I'm up for it!

Still learning from and with clients, every single day! Thank you Female Business Awards team and judges. Good luck to all the finalists for the main event in October. 🧡

#femalebusinessawards #businessawards #finalist by @wildfirespark

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a month ago

They’ve got their back up and you haven’t clocked why. You think you’re listening but they don’t feel heard.

You need more rapport and to establish better understanding to get through to them about something tricky. We know the theory makes sense.

We love to think we’re good listeners. "Seek first to understand" and all that, but in order to challenge anyone on anything we often don’t invest enough.

And then we wonder why it backfires.

The OARS model is for exactly this. It gives you the clear skills for the conversation by opening it up, leaning to strengths, showing understanding and checking back.

This helps to feel confident, give the conversation some control and pace and stops you procrastinating over something you don’t need to dread.

Save it for the conversation you're already dreading this week or repost if it resonates.♻️

Got a difficult conversation you're sitting on but not doing much about it? Drop it in the comments or DM me. Diagnosing what's going wrong is my forte and I'll point you to something doable.

#DifficultConversations #WorkplaceConversations #HRLeaders. by @wildfirespark

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2 months ago

Delighted to make finalist in the Coach, Mentor and Trainer category for the Female Business Awards.

Really looking forward to the awards event in October in Manchester. Judging by the number of finalists in this category alone, it's celebrating a lot of achievements, of the finalists and all of those amazing people we get to help.

Organiser Janine won Best Network in the Best Business Women Awards last year and I know it'll be packed with great people to meet. Drop me a line if you'll be there. 🧡 by @wildfirespark

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2 months ago