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Mandee Sikich

@wildlightdeathdoula

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🕯️Certified death doula & grief coach
⚰️Death literacy & education
👥NEDA member
💫Learning how to live by thinking about how we die

POSTS STORIES REELS

Stories are potent grief medicine! How a recent body blessing experience reminded me of the power of stories to help us process our grief. ⁠
#grieving #bereavement #griefjourney #storytelling #loss by @wildlightdeathdoula

DEATH OVER DRAFTS :: Attention Santa Barbara! Come check out this community event to spark curiosity and connection around death and dying. Hosted at The Brass Bear Uptown on Wednesday, August 26th from 6-8pm. Come grab a beer and engage in some approachable and enjoyable conversations around these often taboo subjects. Please RSVP to arlene@dyingingrace.com to attend as spaces are limited. by @wildlightdeathdoula

“Embrace your grief, for there your soul will grow.”

- Carl Jung

“One small thing
I’ve learned these years,

how to be alone,
and at the edge of aloneness,
how to be found by the world.”

- David Whyte

“Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life.”

– Anne Roiphe

“Tis a human thing, love,
A holy thing,
To love
What death can touch.”

- Judah Halevi

“There is some strange int by @wildlightdeathdoula

Most people go to the doctor when something hurts.

But grief? Grief is a pain that often gets ignored, minimized, or pushed aside. We tell ourselves to stay busy. Be strong. Move on. Get over it.

The problem is that grief doesn’t disappear when we ignore it. It simply finds other ways to show up: in our relationships, our work, our bodies, our sleep, our anxiety, our anger, and our ability to experience joy.

I’d like to be very clear that I’m not saying your grief needs to be fixed. I like to use the framework of grief-tending.
Just as we seek support when something is physically going on in our bodies, grief deserves skilled support too and a grief coach can help provide a safe container to process and show you how to tend your grief in a way that sustainably integrates into your life.

Something that many people don’t realize is that grief isn’t something we ONLY experience when someone dies. We can also experience grief after divorce, estrangement, illness, identity shifts, unmet dreams, career changes, empty nests, and every significant loss that changes the landscape of your life.

You don’t have to walk through it alone.
When grief is tended, it becomes less about white knuckling through your pain (and consequently through life) and more about discovering how to live fully alongside it.

Your grief deserves your attention and you deserve support that meets you where you are.

DM me or drop a comment to find out how to work with me. Let’s tend your grief together. #griefawareness #griefcoaching #griefwork by @wildlightdeathdoula

My weirdest grief symptom was something I totally didn’t expect! What’s the weirdest grief-related symptom you’ve experienced?

#griefawareness #griefcoach #griefshare by @wildlightdeathdoula

Finish this sentence, “Ever since my loss, I…” by @wildlightdeathdoula

5 Symptoms You Might Not Know Are Unprocessed Grief…

Anxiety
Constant worry, restlessness, racing thoughts, or a sense that something bad is about to happen. Grief activates the nervous system in a way that causes it to be in a state of hyper vigilance, looking for disaster around every corner. This can be experienced even YEARS after the loss occurred.

Brain Fog
Difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, trouble finding words, or feeling mentally “slower” can all be common responses to loss.

Clumsiness
Dropping things, bumping into objects, missing turns while driving, or feeling unusually uncoordinated may be a sign that your mind and body are carrying a heavy emotional load.

Irritability
Grief often lowers our capacity to cope with everyday stress. Small frustrations can feel much bigger when loss is living beneath the surface.

Emotional Numbness
Sometimes grief doesn’t feel like sadness at all.
It can feel like disconnection, emptiness, or moving through life on autopilot. by @wildlightdeathdoula

POV: You finally found a grief tending manual and now the weight on your chest feels a little lighter. Grief doesn’t come with instructions so I made this little manual to help you feel more grounded when grief turns your life upside down. Link in my bio! by @wildlightdeathdoula

grief hot takes! by @wildlightdeathdoula

Here’s the one thing that will fix your grief!… is something you’ll never hear me say! Your grief is not a problem to be solved and while there is no one size fits all approach to processing it there is you be very important question you can ask yourself every day. by @wildlightdeathdoula

Just checking you know your grief is allowed to take up space.

Just checking you know your grief doesn’t have to follow a plan or a timeline.

Just checking you know your grief is not a problem to be solved. It’s ok to put down the grief books and checklists if you need to.

Just checking you know you don’t have to accept the out of pocket things people say to you in your grief. I hereby empower you to say “Why would you say that?” when people come at you with unhinged comments and unwanted advice. It usually helps them see that what they are saying is unhelpful.

Just checking you know you can really live after experiencing profound loss AND you can continue to honor your loved one in meaningful ways years, even decades after loss. It doesn’t mean you aren’t moving on (moving on is a faulty concept anyway. We don’t move on from grief, we simply learn how to integrate it into our lives). by @wildlightdeathdoula

It’s a common grief exprience to find oneself suddenly sobbing, or unable to breathe, or panicky or angry for seemingly no reason.

In situations like these it may become difficult to think clearly, regulate emotions, make decisions, or engage in daily activities.

A grief rescue plan is a personalized framework designed to support you during these acute experiences. By identifying specific steps ahead of time, you reduce the burden of having to determine what to do while the episode is actually happening. The plan serves as a guide, helping you move through the experience.

Here are five steps to provide strategy and structure when responding to an acute grief episode... by @wildlightdeathdoula