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Some things I write
Sometimes
In some ways.
Some things I write
Somehow
on some days.
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21 • 6 • 22

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In the space of
where I was,
where I am,
and where I will be,
the only thing I know for sure
is a lot of uncertainty. 
And so in all the gaps
the only hope I have is trust;
that you fill the inbetweens. 
The only hope I have is trust;
that you are good
that you are sure
and that you are with me. 
Shaking and stumbling
the end I cannot see,
and so the only hope I have is trust;
that you always were,
always are,
and ever will be. 
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9
4 years ago
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15•2•22

I didn’t intend this to be a 3 part series, but it’s kind of come out that way. And I think it’s beautiful that we end on this note; 
A new creation. 
Because more than anything else I can say, for me these 3 words carry the most weight. 

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If a new creation has actually taken place
That means my past errors have been completely erased. 
So if this is true
And this is truely the case
Why does my past still carry so much weight?
I want to throw myself into owning that I am free
But how do I do that when it contradicts the things that I believe?
Somehow, 
if you same I am new
That means it is true of my identity. 
And though it clashes with my shame
I want to fight to claim
That who you say I am
Is really me. 
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4
5 years ago
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17•2•22

This one’s quite vulnerable for me to post, but I’m just trying to keep my poetry authentic to the things I’m wrestling with. And I want to claim the truth that when Jesus redeemed me, he redeemed ALL of me- my past included. 

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I gave my body away to a stranger
sometime ago. 
And so it’s no wonder I still struggle 
to feel like this body is my own. 
But somehow
you have decided to make this body your home. 
And if one as beautiful as you 
could dwell within me
maybe that is enough to atone.
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7
5 years ago
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17•2•21

Trying something different out with these next few posts. I wanted to stretch a new kind of creative muscle- and there’s a bit of vulnerability involved in going out on a limb and switching things up this way. Swipe for the full poem. 

Thanks for taking the time to have a look :)

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I used to chase things that would make me feel ‘alive’
But why did it always leave me feeling closer to death?
I used to throw back drinks in an attempt 
to feel a temporary escape 
And I used to hold strangers near
To try and fulfil a sense of intimacy. 
Anything to make me feel
like I was owning my freedom. 
I got caught up In flashing lights 
and funny substances 
But 
For a time of flashing lights I’d never been so dark,
And for a time of funny substances I didn’t seem to be laughing. 
I used to gamble with my body
and place bets on my mind-
What I was attempting to win,
I don’t quite know. 
Because now I see all my gambling 
Has taken its toll
On my soul. 
If it was meant to be a lighthearted game,
why has it left me so heavy?
I wish I knew then,
That I am worth more than a temporary high
And a strangers fleeting touch. 
I wish I knew then that gambling against my soul
can only end poorly. 
And I wish I knew then,
That I don’t have to chase things of death,
to attempt to feel alive. 
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3
5 years ago
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15•2•22

I’ve been writing a lot of poems lately about my past, and it’s been incredibly helpful in wrestling with the shame that I still have attached to it. I’m excited to share these poems with you over the next little while. It’s really cool that I have a space where I can do that. 
So Thankyou :)

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Who i was 
and who I am
is not who I will be. 
My past is real,
and full of mistakes 
many of which are not pretty. 
But somehow you say
that it doesn’t hold weight
over who I will become. 
And somehow I must believe 
this is true despite what I see
and in this I am undone. 
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2
5 years ago
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23•8•21

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Desire is a fleeting friend,
quick to rush in any
direction. 
She weaves around
in pointless circles
and constantly motions
towards a forelorn
sense of 
“more.”
Yet desire is a foolish friend,
never quite settled
on where this sense
of “more” is satisfied. 
Only you can
calm my foolish friend
desire-
for in your arms
she stops running.
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3
5 years ago
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6•11•21

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I held my hands out
desperate to feel someone
hold them. 
And when they came
back empty i realised
my hands were intended
for so much more than
simply being held.
So I raised them in worship
and I put them to work instead. 
Suddenly I realised
they
were no longer empty.
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5
5 years ago
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20•1•22

A poem on freedom
(feat. rain sounds and screaming kids in the background). 

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I was given free choice of anything I could manage 
And I chose the things fleeting,
That left me damaged. 
With quick hands and selfish heart
I reached for cheap thrills
And despite all the consuming 
I never was filled. 
What In the moment seemed pleasing
Has left me hurt
And I sigh as I ask
“What was it all worth?”
All the chasing and searching
To hold life in my hands
For it to only ever slip through
My fingers like sand. 
If I was given the freedom 
To choose anything that I pleased
Why did I choose the very things
That hurt me?
Maybe freedom without restraint 
Isn’t really to be free. 
Because when He entered in
I couldn’t help but see
A self-made image of wholeness
Is not how its meant to be. 
He offered me a new way
And he came and redeemed
All the choices I made
While longing and in need. 
And now I know the true nature
Of what it means to be free
Because now I have tasted
And now I have seen;
Freedom was never meant to point towards me. 
Freedom is to be found in HIM
And it always will be. 
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4
5 years ago
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6•11•21
 
What if it’s as simple as an unhurried love that meets us in our present? 

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Between what I was
and what I will be,
I simply am
and you’re simply
with me. 
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2
5 years ago
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12•10•21

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Have you ever walked into a room
searching for something
only to forget what it was
once you got there?
I wonder if we do the same
with God?
We leave on a journey to
go search, 
and along the way
forget what it is we left
to look for. 
I wonder if maybe though,
its not a matter of 
“going out” to search,
but rather,
staying still to be found. 
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2
5 years ago
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29•9•21

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It’s okay to fall into grace,
in a way
that makes you come
undone. 
It’s okay to embrace,
the exposing and healing 
nature of His love. 
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1
5 years ago
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27•6•21

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I wonder,
do we ever stop
running away?
Despite tired feet
and
tired souls
we continue running
in hopes of finding
“something more”. 
And it never does
quite seem to come. 
So I ask again:
do we ever stop
running away?
Perhaps though,
there is no need to run. 
Perhaps love is already
bending to meet you
exactly 
where you are. 
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3
5 years ago
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