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Amber Stolarski

@xladylithiumx

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Dog mom, performer, Lushie.

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Some days are really, really hard. I've been completely compliant with my med regimen. I'm due for a Spravato treatment tomorrow, and 3pm on Monday CANNOT come soon enough. I feel absolutely numb and dead inside right now. I have been running nonstop for what seems like months (because it HAS been months) and, 99% of the time, I thrive with a chaotic schedule. But I definitely need a boost. I definitely need help to further rewire my brain and create healthier, happier neural pathways. My character, Virginia, is a happy kid who finds joy and fun in everything. That's going to be REALLY hard to channel today. Depression, anxiety, and bipolar can suck it.

On top of everything, my left knee, right ankle, and right hip are KILLING me. I've covered myself in Tiger Balm patches, conveniently hidden under my costume. At intermission, I'm going to down a protein drink that I have in the fridge, because this dose of Zepbound is a BEAST. The results have been great but I desperately need protein. And a nap. by @xladylithiumx

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13 days ago

Pop Tart
01/29/2015-08/25/2026

Lymphoma is a monster. I'm glad I had more happy days than bad ones with my boy while he fought. Endlessly grateful to Dr. Brett at Boulevard Animal Hospital for the empathy and the medicine that gave us a little extra time together. Thankful too for Pet Passages of Philadelphia and Delco for taking such meticulous, wonderful care of my boy after he was gone. Lastly, extremely thankful for my staff/coworkers who have been so incredibly understanding as I've dealt with the loss of not one but two dogs in a short time span. by @xladylithiumx

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2 months ago

Saw Chicago for about a day and a half last week. The city was wonderful and I wish I could've stayed. Pop Tart had other plans and passed away the day after I flew in to Chicago. So my wonderfully understanding company flew me home ASAP so I could say goodbye. I will be forever grateful to Lush for understanding and allowing me to change my travel plans so I could get done what I needed to and take care of my boy. At no point did they ever make me feel wrong or inconvenient -- my feelings and my circumstances were always valid and I am forever appreciative ♥️ by @xladylithiumx

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2 months ago

taken in Willingboro, New Jersey by @xladylithiumx

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2 months ago

In the middle of Spravato treatment number 2. Video to come on TikTok. I feel lighter somehow. Less weighed down by anxieties and the all encompassing sadness that usually envelops me. I'm excellent at masking, but this is TOUGH to smile through lately. Things have been heavy but I don't feel resigned to nothingness. I feel like I am worth something. by @xladylithiumx

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3 months ago

Had to bring my "That Was Rude" tote from @thebroadwaydropshop to the last performance of @deathbecomesher ! It held the merch I got that day as well as my NYC essentials! I'm glad I was able to snag one!
📸: @allthingssimard by @xladylithiumx

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3 months ago

First recording after tonsil surgery and it HAD to be @deathbecomesher . I can't believe we have to say goodbye to visiting our escape at the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre, but I will always cherish the performances, the incredible people who give their all to this show, and the unforgettable friendships that have developed because of it. #deathbecomesher #jennifersimard #meganhilty #betsywolfe by @xladylithiumx

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5 months ago

Hahahaha guess we'll just wait for my appointment in the morning
#healthinsurance taken in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania by @xladylithiumx

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8 months ago

Thank you to everyone involved and on the audience for the first iteration of the Fa La La Family Follies at @bridgeplayerstheatre . I had a great time and was so honored to sing my favorite Christmas song. Merry everything to everyone. by @xladylithiumx

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10 months ago

by @xladylithiumx

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a year ago

I did something today that I didn't know if I'd ever do again. I rode a rollercoaster. When I went to Six Flags thirteen years ago, I could not fit in 99% of the seats for the coasters. And the ones I COULD squeeze into? The ride attendants had to use extra elbow grease to get the restraints to lock. Stupid idea to ride at all, but i just remember being so embarrassed that I couldn't ride a RIDE. I whispered to the attendant, "I don't care what you have to do, just please get me on this ride."

Cut to today. Out of caution, I sat in the test seat at Superman: Ultimate Flight. I'm happy to say that I had plenty of room and when I got on the real ride, nobody had to shove the restraints in tightly to lock me in. And I felt blissful as I was shrieking and flying through the air.

135 pounds down since gastric sleeve.
117 pounds down since starting Wegovy.
68 pounds since the last time I tried to ride a Rollercoaster. by @xladylithiumx

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a year ago

At it again! Constantly on the audition/rehearsal/performance grind. Tonight's audition is for "Calendar Girls" at Burlington County Footlighters.

Why am I trying for so many shows? I'm hoping that this time next year I'll either be having or have just had a baby...and newborns don't really allow for one to constantly be at the theatre or traveling from work to the theatre. I'm getting all this creativity stirring because I'm manifesting motherhood.

I've been on a fertility journey for the past two years and it's been full of ups and downs. Two failed IUIs and one early miscarriage/chemical pregnancy has weighed really heavily on my spirit. But I know this journey is meant for me. I've achieved such dramatic weight loss with my future baby in mind. Everything I do is for them. I've lost 115 pounds since I first walked into my fertility clinic and I'm feeling pretty positive about my chances, low but NOT impossible. Sending me all the good vibes...for this audition AND for two little lines in the next month or so. by @xladylithiumx

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a year ago