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@xmelatoninx

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Native American and Black🪶
Play with yourself, before you play with me🧿
I am a figment of your imagination🧝🏾‍♀️ TikTok: Goddess9997

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I’m under a lot of stress right now, but I wanted to share a moment I experienced this year that made me realize how strong I actually am.

My father passed away in 2020. At the beginning of COVID, while I was enrolled in Colby Sawyer College. Remember when we needed to finish the rest of the semester at home due to the pandemic? Imagine a 19 year old planning her father’s funeral with little to no support from family?

Anywho, grief had a hold on me earlier this year and I decided to attend grief group. On my first day, I explained my story about my dad’s passing. And a woman in her 40s told me “At least your father died with his eyes closed. I would’ve preferred that because my mother died with her eyes open”

I was the youngest member of the group. I’m 24, the other members were between 40-70s. Now wouldn’t you expect older people to become wiser with age? Now the old Nellie would’ve dragged that woman across the table, but the teacher quickly told the woman to apologize and explained how hurtful that sounds because realistically neither my dad or the woman’s mother were alive.

Instead, I responded “It’s okay. In the past I couldn’t tell my story without crying about mentioning my dad’s name. Every time I’d hear music from the 60s-80s I would cry uncontrollably. Now I can talk about it without feeling overwhelmed. I hope therapy helps you find peace eventually.”And of course I cried about it afterwards, but that’s because I didn’t realize how people lack kindness. You can spread kindness even while in pain.

Thank you for reading. Now I feel better for sharing❤️ Anywho, I’ve been celebrating my birthday the entire month of September because I never expected to be alive this long, so allow me to act a sexy fool on 9/29🤪 by @xmelatoninx

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2 years ago

My contacts expired🥺🤣 Back to glasses for a little bit🤓❤️ #fyp #introvert #goddess #spiritualbaddie #divinefeminine by @xmelatoninx

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3 hours ago

I look extremely short in this video. I promise I’m taller than I look (is 5’2😅) #fyp #introvert #goddess #spiritualbaddie #divinefeminine taken in Halloween Town by @xmelatoninx

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✨”Nggas mad I get more butt than ashtrays “ is such a wild line to start the song🤣✨ #introvert #fyp #goddess #spiritualbaddie #divinefeminine taken in Planet Venus by @xmelatoninx

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a day ago

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall…. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall 🙂 I broke up with a covert narcissist this year and it traumatized me to the point where I don’t even want to date women right now. Covert narcissists are famous for playing mind games and perfect for manipulation and psychological abuse. I’m very blessed and grateful that I got out the situation after a year of being together. God knew we weren’t meant to get married. I would’ve been miserable trying to divorce the person who lied about their personality just to get me into her life. When the mask finally fell, it was my time to leave and go no contact. Covert narcissists hate no contact because they lose control over their supply. I went no contact and was immediately called “childish” and “too old to be acting like this”. God told me to go no contact, Humpty Dumpty told me, “God didn’t tell you to go contact with me.” Is that sooo?🤣🙂 This is the same adult child that said she’s my “guardian angel” and that “your dad brought me to you” Mind you, my dad passed away 6 years ago. She never met my dad to know if he’d approve of her or not. She always thought she was close in rank with God, but lived a completely unhealthy life to prove it. You reap what you sow. Has my real guardian angel visit you yet? Let me know when so I can thank my Dad for dropping by. BAHAHAHA🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣☕️ #fyp #introvert #goddess #spiritualbaddie #karma taken in Planet Earth by @xmelatoninx

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2 days ago

Not me making a Sunday Dinner on a damn Thursday night🤣🤣🤣🤣 I made Smothered Pork Chops with Smothered Green Beans and Garlic butter Corn. Everything is delicious per usual🥱❤️ Want some?🥰 #fyp #introvert #goddess #spiritualbaddie #food by @xmelatoninx

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3 days ago

🎱🎱🎱 #fyp #introvert #goddess #spiritualbaddie #divinefeminine taken in Planet Venus by @xmelatoninx

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4 days ago

✨We gon see✨ #fyp #introvert #goddess #spiritualbaddie #divinefeminine taken in Planet Venus by @xmelatoninx

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4 days ago

YOU’D ONLY UNDERSTAND THE ENDING IF YOU WATCHED THE PERFORMANCE!!!🤣🤬 We are all Gods and Goddesses, but you won’t experience that Godly presence on a regular. You fumble one Goddess, you’ll never find another one. So act like you know before you attempt to fck up my peace. I was born into gospel music by my lovely grandma on my maternal side. My spiritual practice includes feeling the music through your body and aligning with the frequency. #fyp #introvert #goddess #spiritualbaddie #divinefeminine taken in Planet Venus by @xmelatoninx

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4 days ago

I’m 27 with an old soul that aged my face backwards🤣 Recently went to the store to buy a scratch ticket and the clerk asked me if I was old enough to buy a ticket🤣🤦🏾‍♀️ I’m grateful because it shows that I’m not living in survival mode anymore. I’m not allowing stress to take over my daily life. Thank you God😘 #fyp #introvert #goddess #spiritualbaddie #divinefeminine taken in Planet Venus by @xmelatoninx

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4 days ago

✨I’m really that btch fr✨ #fyp #introvert #spiritualbaddie #goddess #divinefeminine taken in Planet Venus by @xmelatoninx

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5 days ago

“They smile in your face. Whole time they wanna take your place, the back stabbers” - The O’Jays #fyp #introvert #goddess #dharma #karma taken in Planet Venus by @xmelatoninx

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5 days ago