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Zach Williams but call me zach

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“It is almost always the cover-up rather than the event that causes trouble.” by @zachwilliamscomedy

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6 months ago

School yard politics at play. #tariffs by @zachwilliamscomedy

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a year ago

Last day in Anchorage:
I have 5 hours now before I’m to return the rental car at the airport, then another 2 hours before the plane is set to take off. I’m seated at a grocery in some suburban corner of Anchorage killing time with a book while snow falls outside.
The table next to me is occupied by two older gentlemen, the one facing away from me I can barely hear but can only see his grey rat tail. Across from him, facing me an older dark skinned man with a white beard that frames his face. His laugh is frequent and infectious. It’s a deep reverberating sound that seems to bounce off his ribs and escape out his mouth. Sometimes it overlaps with his words so that they bounce as he speaks them, then in a moment he becomes adamant and convicted, only to return to a rhythmic chuckle. The conviction in his voice is sometimes preceded by a slight stutter, like a car engine turning over after too many nights in the cold. They talk about politics, stories in the news, both taking time to remark about how unbelievable it all is. They talk about dreaming at their age. The dark skinned man remarks that he’d never dreamt of fears before, but in the last ten years they’ve become familiar. He muses that sleep is great. “You don’t have to eat, to think, to drink.” They’ve been here talking as long as I’ve been reading my book and letting my devices charge. I’ll likely never see them again, but they remind me of the beauty in humanity.
While they leave before me, they linger outside still chatting in the snow. I manage to catch them after I finished reading my book and ask them if I can take their picture. I confess that I’ve been eavesdropping on their conversation. Norman, the one with the infectious laugh confesses he thought they were disturbing my concentration. Pat tells me they worked together for the national park service and that Norman just recently joined him in retirement, but they still meet to have lunch the same way they used to when they worked together. “You want a picture of Spot?” Of course I do. I thank them for their time, they wish me safe travels.

Norman and Pat by @zachwilliamscomedy

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a year ago

Happy birthday to my favorite guitar player, @merit_koch. She’s laying down tunes on the riverboat today, so if you’re in Nashville throw a few dollars in the Cumberland. by @zachwilliamscomedy

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2 days ago

Before he was the best interrogator in Georgia, Jon Ossoff majored in Pinky Herman impressions. by @zachwilliamscomedy

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2 days ago

War crimes are bad but is kink shaming worse? by @zachwilliamscomedy

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3 days ago

Senator Jon Ossoff goes to Denny’s. by @zachwilliamscomedy

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3 days ago

I liked them better as the “don’t tread on me” crowd. This “comply or die” stuff is cowardly. by @zachwilliamscomedy

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3 days ago

“You have to trust your country, because if there can be no trust, there can be no greatness.” by @zachwilliamscomedy

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8 days ago

If you need to inject testosterone to be a warfighter that’s gender affirming hormone therapy. by @zachwilliamscomedy

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9 days ago

Just imagine how crazy we’re gonna sound describing things to our ai offspring one day. by @zachwilliamscomedy

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10 days ago

Try the new bi-diet. by @zachwilliamscomedy

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10 days ago