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Tanya & Lisa | Psychologists | Unstuck

@2together.podcast

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Two psychologists.
30+ years of friendship.
Psychology for women, midlife, relationships, identity, burnout & getting unstuck from old patterns.
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Ever wondered why you keep doing the very thing you know isn’t good for you?

Why you keep saying yes when you want to say no. Why you find yourself in the same relationship dilemmas. Why understanding a pattern doesn’t necessarily stop you repeating it.

We’ve wondered too.

We’re Tanya and Lisa. Two psychologists, friends for over 30 years, and we’ve spent much of our working lives helping people understand the patterns that keep them stuck.

And we’ve recognised those patterns in ourselves, too.

That’s why we created Unstuck.

We wanted to take the psychology we’ve spent years working with, particularly Schema Therapy, beyond the therapy room and into everyday life.

Because understanding why you do something can be the beginning of doing something differently.

🎧 Listen to Unstuck on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Explore our practical tools and resources at 2-together.com or through the link in our bio.

💬 What’s one pattern you understand perfectly well, but still find yourself repeating?

We’d love to hear from you. Your questions might even inspire a future episode.

#UnstuckPodcast #Psychology #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #MentalHealth by @2together.podcast

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4 days ago

Thirty years of friendship and an alarming number of hairstyles.

People sometimes call that lucky. There has been luck, of course. There have also been fallouts, crossed wires, old habits and a fair few apologies. Being psychologists hasn’t stopped us getting things wrong. It has, however, given us an impressive ability to overthink a text message 😂

We’ve had to keep meeting the new versions of each other, and learning how to find our way back. That’s woven through our Unstuck friendship series, where we talk about the ways we Submit, Opt Out and Storm In when things get difficult.

Who’s the friend who’s known several versions of you? ❤️

#FemaleFriendship #LongTermFriendship #MidlifeFriendship #WomenInMidlife #UnstuckPodcast by @2together.podcast

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21 days ago

New here? Time to introduce ourselves… we’re Tanya and Lisa. Two psychologists, two friends, and the voices behind Unstuck.
#UnstuckBy2Together #PsychologyForRealLife #SchemaTherapy #MidlifeWomen #PsychologyPodcast by @2together.podcast

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2 months ago

Menopause doesn’t always give you time to prepare. Sometimes, everything changes almost overnight.

For World Menopause Day, Tanya is sharing her experience of surgical menopause.

Because we talk a lot about hot flushes and hormones, but perhaps not enough about what happens to our mood, confidence and sense of self when those hormones suddenly change.

We’re psychologists. We know the theory. But we’re also two women navigating midlife ourselves, and knowing the psychology doesn’t make us immune to the experience.

Tanya has written more about her experience on our Substack, including the emotional side of surgical menopause that deserves a much bigger conversation.

💛 Read more via the link in our bio.

What do you wish someone had told you about menopause?

#WorldMenopauseDay #SurgicalMenopause #MenopauseAwareness #MidlifeWomen #UnstuckPodcast by @2together.podcast

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14 hours ago

Ever listened to a podcast and thought, “Oh God, that’s me”… then carried on doing exactly the same thing?

Recognising a pattern is a start. Working out what to do with it can take a little more space.

That’s why we’ve created our Unstuck Substack 🙌

You’ll find free reflection sheets to accompany the podcast, written explorations of our episodes, and a psychological take on the stories everyone’s talking about. There are personal pieces too, including Tanya’s experience of surgical menopause and Lisa’s experience of living with meibomian gland dysfunction (MGD). We’re two psychologists navigating midlife ourselves. We know the theory, but we still have our moments… 🫤

Explore what’s there and subscribe free through the link in our bio. You can read online or receive posts by email, no app needed.

Which topic would you like us to explore next? Tell us below or send us a DM. Your suggestion could inspire a future episode.

#MidlifeWomen #MidlifeUnfiltered #RealLifePsychology #MidlifeConversations #UnstuckPodcast by @2together.podcast

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a day ago

We used to pack for every eventuality. Now most of those eventualities are medical.

Our Prague weekend came with a bedside pharmacy, sensible footwear and several competing opinions about room temperature.

It also came with the sort of laughter that makes you forget everything you’ve been carrying lately.

There’s something precious about spending time with friends who know the responsible woman you’ve become and can still bring out the ridiculous one.

For a little while, the organising can wait. You get to remember what you enjoy, rather than just what needs doing.

We’ve grown up together. We haven’t entirely grown up. ❤️

Who’s in your midlife weekend group chat?

We explore friendship, midlife and the patterns we get stuck in on our free podcast, Unstuck. You’ll also find free resources on our website and Substack, all linked in our bio.

#MidlifeWomen #FemaleFriendship #GirlsWeekend #WomenOver40 #MidlifeJoy by @2together.podcast

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4 days ago

A little hello, a massive thank you, and a favour to ask! 💛

For anyone who’s new here, we’re two psychologists, friends of 30 years, and navigating midlife ourselves.

We started Unstuck because we believe midlife is a brilliant opportunity to question some of those old patterns we’ve been carrying around for years. And perhaps finally do something different.

So far we’ve explored identity, visibility, friendship dilemmas and now burnout.

Next up? MIDLIFE DATING. 👀

And we’d love your help!

The dating apps, the mixed signals, the unexpected joys, the confusing almost-relationships, or those moments when you find yourself thinking, “Why on earth am I doing this AGAIN?”

Whatever your experience, we’d love to hear it. What would you like two psychologists to unpack?

Drop us a comment or send us a DM. You can absolutely remain anonymous, and we won’t share your story publicly without your permission.

And finally, apologies for the background banging. That’s Lulu, my dog, enthusiastically attacking a toy. Apparently she had quite a lot to contribute to this conversation too. 🐾😂

#UnstuckPodcast #MidlifeDating #MidlifeWomen #RelationshipPatterns #midlifetransformation by @2together.podcast

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2 days ago

Some women take up space. Some women take up the entire one-way street. 😂

Tanya has just met the latter.

The road sense? Questionable. The self-belief? Quite extraordinary.

And for those of us who’ve spent years accommodating everyone else, apologising unnecessarily and making ourselves smaller… there’s something almost enviable about that level of certainty.

Perhaps we could all borrow a little of her confidence. Just not her driving.

There’s a fine line between knowing your worth and expecting everyone else to reverse into a hedge. 😂

#UnstuckPodcast #PeoplePleasing #MidlifeConfidence #WomenInMidlife #Boundaries by @2together.podcast

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2 days ago

Midlife dating. Plenty of life experience, yet somehow a message saying “Had a lovely time” still requires a committee meeting with your friends.

We’re developing a new Unstuck series, and we’d love your experiences and dilemmas to help shape the episodes.

The funny. The confusing. The unexpectedly lovely.

Starting again after a long relationship? Feeling confident until you actually like someone? Wondering why you keep people pleasing, pulling away or finding the same familiar pattern with a different face?

Or perhaps dating in midlife has surprised you in a good way.

Tell us what happened, how it felt and what you’re still trying to make sense of. A few sentences are enough. We’d love your raw, honest experiences.

We’ll anonymise anything we share. Please leave out other people’s names and identifying details.

Through our schema informed Unstuck model, we’ll explore the lenses, SOS responses and emotional needs beneath your dilemmas, and think about what might help.

Want to get involved? DM us here or use the contact options at 2-together.com.

Know someone with a story? Send this their way.

#MidlifeDating #DatingOver40 #DatingOver50 #DatingAfterDivorce #MidlifeWomen by @2together.podcast

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5 days ago

Dear Daughter… ❤️

At 50, there are a few things I wish I’d understood about female friendships at 15.

That being included isn’t the same as belonging. That jealousy doesn’t make you a bad friend. That some friendships will fade, others will surprise you, and occasionally you’ll be the difficult one.

And perhaps most importantly, learn to recognise what happens to YOU when friendships feel uncomfortable.

Do you SUBMIT, keeping everyone happy at your own expense?

OPT OUT, quietly disappearing when you feel hurt?

Or STORM IN, going on the offensive when you feel rejected?

We call this the Unstuck SOS. Three very human ways of coping that can follow us from the school playground right through to midlife. Different handbags, remarkably similar dynamics… 😂

If I could teach my daughter one thing, it would be that good friendships leave room for you to be yourself, and for other women to shine too.

Save this for your daughter, your younger self, or a friend who might need it.

And tell us, what friendship lesson took you far too long to learn?

🎙️ Explore these conversations in our Unstuck Friendship Series, including I Like You, So Why Am I Jealous?

Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or visit 2-together.com.

#FemaleFriendships #MotherDaughter #PeoplePleasing #FriendshipPsychology #UnstuckPodcast by @2together.podcast

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16 days ago

A walk through Prague with Tanya, and a deceptively small question: do you really not mind?

Sometimes “I don’t mind” means exactly that. But when it’s your automatic answer, you can end up checking what everyone else wants before you’ve even asked yourself.

That’s one way Submit mode can show up. The aim isn’t to become less thoughtful. It’s to remember that your preference belongs in the conversation too.

Next time the words come out, try pausing for a moment: “What would I choose?”

We talk more about this in The Good Friend, part of our Unstuck Friendship Series. Find the episode through the link in our bio or at 2-together.com.

What’s one small preference you find surprisingly hard to say out loud?

#PeoplePleasing #FriendshipBoundaries #MidlifeFriendships #SchemaTherapy #UnstuckPodcast by @2together.podcast

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19 days ago

Two psychologists. One rage room. What could possibly go wrong? 🔨😂

Tanya’s had a hysterectomy, she’s navigating surgical menopause, and it was her birthday. So naturally, Lisa decided a rage room followed by cocktails was the perfect gift. 🍸

We thought we’d give our Angry Child sides a chance to come out and play.

Turns out, neither of us is particularly good at rage.

Tanya started tidying up. Lisa felt sorry for the ornaments. And apparently smashing things requires rather more upper-body strength than anticipated.

Although Tanya was suspiciously good at smashing glasses. 👀

But here’s what we DID learn.

Anger isn’t the enemy. It’s information.

It can tell us when a boundary has been crossed, a need has gone unmet, or something simply doesn’t feel fair.

In Schema Therapy, we talk about different modes, or sides of ourselves, that show up in different situations. Our Angry Child is just one of them. Recognising these sides can help us understand why we feel, think and behave the way we do.

We don’t have to suppress our anger, or act it out. We can get curious about what it’s telling us and find healthier ways to express it.

As for our Angry Child sides? Hardly a roaring success.

Our Happy Child sides, however, were absolutely delighted! ❤️🍸

A huge thank you to @angerissuesragerooms in Ellesmere Port for such a brilliant afternoon. We had an absolute blast, even if we weren’t quite the rage-room naturals we’d imagined!

🎧 Curious about your own Angry Child, Happy Child or the other sides of yourself?

Come and join us on Unstuck with Tanya and Lisa, where we make Schema Therapy ideas accessible through real conversations and practical psychology, helping you understand your patterns and break the ones keeping you stuck.

🎙️ Listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, find us on Substack, and explore our resources at www.2-together.com.

💛 So, how do YOU deal with anger? A walk? A good rant? Smashing a few plates? Or are you more likely to start tidying up like Tanya? 😂 Tell us below!

#UnstuckPodcast #AngerManagement #EmotionalWellbeing #SelfAwareness #EmotionalRegulation by @2together.podcast

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5 days ago