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@afroburrito

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🏳️‍🌈Bi👵🏽Old👩‍👦Single Ma🏋🏽‍♀️Lifter of Tings💃🏽Joyful Warrior 🍺Lover of Non-alcoholic beer🖋Word lover📚Reader. FkMAGA.

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Raise your hand if you woke up at 5:15 AM to get in your upper day before a medical appointment? Did it suck? Meh. Not really. After, I went home to login for work. Pretty awesome.

My legs are still sore from Saturday, and I have to train lower again tomorrow. 😪😩 It's fine. I am actually enjoying 4 days of training a week. So far.

Only two things worth sharing? Killed the CS rows. 🤘🏽 And tried the assisted pull-up machine. A little weird, but definitely going to revisit.

It's Monday...what is she wearing? I know she looks amazing. I just know it.

#lifting #gains #bigcelluliteenergy #fupasupremacy #mylfmaxxing by @afroburrito

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a day ago

I used to be one of those douchecanoes who pooped on the leg press. Real bitches barbell squatted. I still love a hearty BB squat session, and I am considering a meet next year as a birthday present to myself. But I have learned to love a wicked leg machine, especially if you take that shit to your LIMIT. I am even a bisexual when it comes to my lifting. I go both ways.

Anyway, the fact that I can hit a deep, comfy 8 plate leg press on this machine too leads me to believe that...I may actually be kinda strong. Or maybe I just go hard on my back. 😶

Did a bunch of other stuff, too. Coochie clapped. Hamstring curls, extensions..fucking CALF RAISES!!!

And to think, I didn't even want to train today.

✌🏽

#lifting #gains #bigcelluliteenergy #fupasupremacy ##mylfmaxxing by @afroburrito

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3 days ago

Only been at my new job a month and already running into petty shit. But guess what? I am unfazed.

I am not a supervisor this time. There's no staff to sic their union on me for existing.

Plus, MY supervisor likes me, and thinks I am learning well. Whereas others on the "team" seem to think I should know EVERRRRRRRYTHING...after a month? Maybe I should have taken the other non-remote job with my own office? 🤔😒

I bought small gifts and tokens of camaraderie for my previous coworkers, I wouldn't do that for these people. Ever. I miss my old homies. I had lunch with an old coworker and it brightened my day. A lot.

I am going to get my other certification, learn some more, and maybe make another hop sooner than I thought. It's an actual thing. You "Agency Hop" to get raises, growth.

Anyway, it sucks, but there's no rule you have to like the people you work with. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Had a solid upper day. Only filmed two exercises. Even though it was raining, the gym was PACKED. Still got it done.

#lifting #gains #fupasupremacy #bigcelluliteenergy #chunkybutfunky by @afroburrito

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5 days ago

I'm trying something new. I'm moving from 3 full body sessions to an Upper/Lower split of 4 days (2 up, 2 down), with one day at home. Today was lower, and it only took me an hour! But! That's because I didn't want to do any axial loading for legs. I didn't even take Fannie Lou (my belt) with me. I considered light Zercher squats superset with Sissies, but think I'll save that for another day. Goblet Squats superset with Sissies still sucked. And then I did some gnarly sets of leg extensions and hamstring curls. Guys, I even used the fucking Coochie Clappers. I'll likely keep using them for however long I try this U/L split. It's the most action I've seen in years.

#lifting #bigcelluliteenergy #fupasupremacy
#gains #mylfmaxxing by @afroburrito

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7 days ago

I checked the mail on Sunday after a lunch date. I'd received a magazine, and a little junk mail. Peaking out of the stack I saw the corner of an envelope and I saw a seal. I recognized the seal from my previous workplace. My heart began beating a little faster after I pulled out the envelope and saw my name in Pretty P's unmistakable handwriting, along with her name on the envelope. Not handwritten, but my favorite Boss Babe has her name PRINTED on her own stationery. I knew the envelope held nothing special, I knew it was just my final timesheet (it was, along with my termination papers). But, after I took out those papers, I peeked inside of the envelope and found a handwritten note from Pretty P. The note said, "I hope all is well."

Foolishly, I began crying.

"No", I thought. "All is not well. I fucking miss you so damn much. It’s stupid and painful. Mostly, it's stupid."

I put the note in my journal, with the other notes I have from her. I put the envelope next to the Ramen she gave me. I am sentimental...and stupid. by @afroburrito

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8 days ago

A nice fellow at the gym offered me a fist bump mid set during my hack squats. I complimented his squat depth. ATG squats. They DO exist at Planet Fitness.

I've kinda figured out why this hack squat sucks. The angle, and the foot plate. They're not great. My heels come up more than I'd like, but putting my feet higher compromises depth. One day, I will use a quality hack.

Until then, we do what we can.

Yo, I CRUSHED my CS Rows. Heavy AF, great stretch, and sure to help me get wide. I did many other things.

Lifting is fun!

#lifting #gains #fupasupremacy #bigcelluliteenergy #mylfmaxxing by @afroburrito

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10 days ago

I wonder what you've worn this week.

I wonder what tasty Mr. Pretty P dishes you carried in your cute little green lunchbox.

I wonder what stories you told.

I wonder if anyone made you laugh. Did YOU make anyone laugh?

I wonder if you're reading any new books.

I wonder how often you mussed your hair.

I wonder if you'd care that I miss you so much I ache.

Your eyes. Your hair. Your ankles. Your elegant hands. You...

My new job is fine, but I don't see myself being here more than a few years. Even my supervisor said he could see me "moving on eventually." Money. It will be about money. I also realized at a recent work meeting that I won't make any friends here. The people are not the warmest, but that’s OK. It won't change me.

I miss my old colleagues. But mostly, I miss her. by @afroburrito

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11 days ago

Weird shit one of the children said today...

"Anything more than ten reps is just a waste of time." As they all stood around and watched their homeboy do lat raises (that were too light) on a machine

That's...not true...but. whatever.

And then there were the kids who didn't unload the leg press, so out loud I said, "I guess we don't know how to rerack our weights either?" They scurried away.

And then there was the assnugget who thought he was gonna cut in front of me to get to the lat pull down. I mean mugged the shit outta him. He backed off.

And the look of incredulity when I told the dude before me on the LPD to leave one plate on.

Shitshow all around.

Leg press felt good. Did a set of 12 with 8 plates, didn't film it, but it made my legs shake. Amazing. Can't wait to do more. Kept deads light as I felt a little fatigued from Tuesday.

Wondering what the fits have been like this week. Any shawls. 😔

Have you checked your voter registration? Texas GOP fuckery is afoot.

#lifting #gains #fupasupremacy #bigcelluliteenergy #strongoldmixedbroad by @afroburrito

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12 days ago

I lifted weights today.

It was bananas lifting with the children. They sit on their phones too long in between sets. It's annoying.
One kid liked my shirt. I need a new one. I didn't feel particularly strong today, but moved what I could. Sets of 10 on squats, even when light, is shit. But we got it done.

I've discovered that when you put the seat really low on the triceps machine, it sucks more. So definitely doing them this way again.

Did some other shit, too. For real!

And yes...I still miss her. A lot.

#lifting #gains #fupasupremacy #bigcelluliteenergy #mylfmaxxing by @afroburrito

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14 days ago

Yesterday's birthday festivities were exhausting but grand. My baby boy nephew is FIVE! How?!?!?! So smart. So handsome. So funny. Love that guy.

So, I slept in, took advantage of having a friend's car (how we got to the birthday party), and drove to the gym kinda later. Likely back to Saturday training next week.

Hack squats still feeling good. Gotta mess with foot placement a little, but not terrible. Chest Press machine with the yoga pad is divine. Seriously, get one. Yoga Pad is so versatile. And I wanna marry this chest-supported row. Such a fun machine. Only the Panatta felt better. Oh, and still a fan of the rotating V attachment. Worth every damn penny.

I've had 3 dreams about Pretty P. Nothing naughty. Just dreams where she's still my boss. But somehow, also more to me. They were nice dreams.

#lifting #gains #fupasupremacy #bigcelluliteenergy #mylfintraining by @afroburrito

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16 days ago

Had lunch with a former coworker today. I sure do miss him. He seems like he's doing well. Still having some issues with his back and feet, but in good spirits. When we parted ways it was hard not to envy him. He would return to work, and...to her. 😞

Crunch is FUCKING NUTS after 5 PM! WORSE than the Rec Center. But I was too sick to train yesterday, so we braved the insanity.

I think I probably could have put 4 plates on this hoe, but since it was my first time using this leg press I took it kinda easy. There's another, better one, but this chicken-legged asshole cut in line and took it. Still got seriously deep. Hamstrings on calves.

Some solid DB BP. Let's try to get the 60s for 8 soon? Some rows on an interesting machine, and BTD, only B shown.

#lifting #gains #bigcelluliteenergy #fupasupremacy #gorillafacedbroad by @afroburrito

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19 days ago

On the excruciating 1.5 hour bus ride home I thought about how even only two weeks in I am finding my two days of in-office work to be something of a slog. Oddly, it doesn’t feel nearly as bad when I go train after, but as I am changing my training schedule this week, the ride was torture. But it’s just two days.

What this also made me realize was that Pretty P was indeed a significant motivator for my fairly consistent attendance outside of the Legislative Session. I did the math, and I did around 400 plus hours of commuting on the shittiest public transportation system I’ve ever experienced because I knew that going to work guaranteed that my days would be filled with her voice, her stories, her hair, her green lunch box, her impeccable style, her Beauty Browns, her Daddy Energy as she walked with her hands in her pockets, her dresses WITH pockets, her throat-clearing, her legs, her goofiness, her in a shawl, her in a pencil skirt, her eating Blue Bell, her sing-songy “Hello,” her tackling a “weird one,” her saying Legisla-TORE, and maybe the chance she might…say my name, run into me in the restroom, or hold my gaze for just…a little longer than might be considered normal.

I pass my old job on the bus the two days I am in office, and I can see the Capitol dome when I walk to Starbucks. I look in that direction and wonder if Pretty P is in, what she’s doing. Is she shopping online for something to wear on a trip with Mr. Pretty P soon? What delicious meals has Mr. Pretty P made for her? Is she reading at her desk? What is she wearing?

I regret nothing. I’d fall in love with you all over again, even if it’s left me rudderless and sad. I always knew it would, because you were never mine, but somehow seeing you everyday made that harsh reality easy to ignore. Were it only possible to let you know…I’m always here for you should you need me.

Sky. Always.

True shit.

I emailed Sharpie about refills...these pens are discontinued. 😭

I think my tie freaked out my new coworkers.

Cat print shoes...gams...like Babe...

Maybe I should hire someone to make like a knot with me...and help me forget about pointless yearning? But no one is that desperate by @afroburrito

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21 days ago